Signing Off...

A year. Wow. We finally made it to a year. It has been filled with so many incredible experiences and so many learning opportunities! I don’t think that any of us can escape the fact that this experience has changed us…irrevocably and absolutely, in many ways. How could it not? After all is said and done, I’m grateful and happy to have had this opportunity to see and do so many things that I NEVER, EVER imagined myself being able to do in my lifetime. I feel my soul is blossoming now, after a particularly harsh winter of adjustment. Would I do it all over again? Believe it or not, I still don’t have the answer to that. The harshness of that winter and the price we, as a family, had to pay on so many levels, is also ingrained in my soul. Time might be what we all need for a full recovery from it. Would I recommend this experience to other people? Not sure. I think it takes incredibly strong people to do something like this…in this kind of place. Other expat assignments, across the world, may not be as difficult. I don’t know. But, I now know that we are (BY FAR) not the only expats to have suffered in similar ways. I have first-hand accounts as well as tales of old that would make you cringe. Sad, sad tales. I also think there are many variables to consider when choosing to do something like this, such as, do you have only yourself to consider or an entire family? Do you have pets? What are the ages of your kids? Will you be working or not? One might need to also consider eating habits, hobbies, etc. There are many, many more variables to consider as well…I could never name them all. So, depending on the person and their circumstance…I could…or would not recommend this type of assignment.

Yes…it has taken a strength I didn't know I even possessed to have not only survived, but to come out the other end, somewhat victorious. Our family is intact and even stronger now. I have met and made friends with so many incredible and international women. And we have a whole other year to see what else comes our way. Life is good…
As I have mentioned, I have tried to state the positives about living here in the last several blogs, since February. After so many negative points of view in the first six months, I felt it was important to state the upside to an experience like this one. Below, I’ve highlighted both the pros and cons to consider IF you plan to do something like this, in a place like this one.

Pros:
International schools for your children
Meeting international friends
Learning a new culture and language
Seeing new and wondrous sights
Gaining perspective on so many things
Experiencing cultural diversity for both you and your kids
Trying new foods and flavors
Exploring your own interests
Travel!

Cons:
New levels of stress for the entire family
Cultural differences
Strain on marriage
Potential health risks for family
Potential risk that kids might not adapt as well as you think
Food
More expenses than you imagine
Limited [easy] entertainment, such as TV, movie theater, etc
Traffic situation(s)
Pollution!
Potable water

Just to name a few.

Advice? I guess my advice to anyone considering something like this, would be to keep a WIDE and open mind. Also, if you’re a world traveler or a travelling type of person…this might be a MUCH easier transition for you, initially, than someone who isn’t. And if you’re not, you’ll definitely need that open mind. ;-)

This is my last post. I’m signing off. Considering that one of the objectives of keeping a regular blog this first year was to potentially help those considering a similar transition in their own lives, I sincerely hope that I was able to shed a little light for you. I also hope my friends and family have enjoyed the regular updates as well. I know keeping a blog helped me tremendously, in maintaining some form of sanity at certain points in this adventure of ours. It was nice to think that someone, somewhere, might be “listening.” Even if it was only empty cyber space. So, I want to say a BIG thank you to those who followed up with one or more of my posts this past year…your “presence” meant a lot to me.

For this next year, I’ve decided to maintain a completely different blog page…since there will be different challenges we will be facing. If you’re interested in reading my new blog, please make a “comment” or email me.

Enjoy!

Happy Father's Day!

We had a great, fun filled Father's Day! Allen got to pick the activities of the day. Needless to say, we took a break from doing errands and spent the day with the family at Kailua Beach. It was raining, but that is ok here in Hawaii. It never means the fun has to end. ;-)

Auntie and the kids kept themselves busy playing in the sand. Granny fluctuated between playing in the water and watching the kids play on shore. Allen and I spent most of our time in serene happiness in the crystal blue waters, bobbing up and down in the waves. Ahhhh...

We went home to wash up, refresh and relax for a couple of hours. Then, we headed to one of our favorite...and greatly missed...restaurants, P.F. Changs. I swear...that is how chinese food SHOULD taste. Yum! ;-P

We had a great day, spending time with Daddy.

Home Sweet Home!

We have finally made it to Hawaii...ahhhhhhh! It feels so wonderful to be here. I was very surprised to learn that going back to the United States for the second time in five months felt just as incredible as the first time. Since I feel so much more "settled" about living in Shanghai...it took me by complete surprise to experience such relief about actually arriving on US soil again. It really proves (to myself) just how much stress I continue to experience in China.

I'm not the only one, apparently. The kids have been excited to go see Granny and other relatives in Hawaii for a long time now. However, when we arrived and walked to the Customs area of the airport, Brandon saw an American flag and shouted, "Yah, we're in America!" No joke. Everyone turned their heads and laughed. The customs agent standing nearby laughingly said, "Welcome home, Son." We all had a good laugh and I'm not sure if it was because we felt what Brandon said was actually funny...or that we were ALL relieved to be home, and everything suddenly felt very, very good. Brandon just openly announced what we were all feeling.

And every day here feels sooooo wonderful...even with a bad case of jet lag. The air is so incredibly clean, the water is super fresh and clean and I don't have to worry about eating a whole bunch of veggies and fruits. Also, I have organic options here and so many wonderful things are once again at my fingertips.

I'm looking forward to picnicking with the boys at a botanical park with views that would stun you. I look forward to playing in the sand with the boys at every beach the island has to offer. I look forward to taking the boys to the Sea Life Park. I look forward to camping on the beach with the boys and roasting marshmallows. I look forward to playing in the crystal blue waters. I look forward to going and seeing a movie! I look forward to so many things that the boys and I have the option to do this summer. So many wonderful options...and such a wonderful place to spend the summer. :-)

Ryan's 3rd Birthday!

Wow! We had a fantastic birthday party for Ryan…and some older siblings. *ahem* I’m most proud that I kept it [relatively] simple, thus not having to put forth a ton of effort…just before we leave for Hawaii. We looked into renting a bounce house since we have a backyard (which is rare for many expats who mostly live in apartment buildings). I found one place who rented an inflatable water slide for the same price as the bounce houses. Bingo! Seeing as its summer…we thought that it would be perfect. We also bought a small inflatable pool and filled it with sand with we found very cheaply at the Home Depot equivalent here in Shanghai…and then threw in some sand toys we already had. We took out our soccer and baseball toys as well as some balls to throw around in the little pool that comes with the slide. It was a SUMMER FUN theme…and the kids had a blast!

The day was perfect…hot, but without the glaring sun. We, of course, had a TON of the boys’ toys as well, in case any of the kids wanted to come inside to play. I chose a mid afternoon time (1-4 pm) and the kids had a few big bowls of packaged snacks to choose from as well as the finale of choosing between three different cakes to eat! Yum yum!

The entire party was so much fun and it was lots of fun to watch the kiddos enjoy the slide and sand. Almost felt like home. I had been hesitating to host many parties this year…but now that I know where to go to get food items and both we and our kids have many friends…it’s FUN!!! I hope to have a few more this next year.
So, Ryan has turned three in the eyes of his friends…and we had a very good time doing it!

E-Day Town

What a fantastic day I just had with Brandon on a field trip (his last one)! We went to a place called E-Day Town. Funny name…but this is another one of those “best kept secrets” around Shanghai…like the Flowerport. We just happened to fall across this through the school. According to my sources, this venue just opened very recently. It was open for a little while to schools/organizations only. Then, they opened it to the public.

This entire place is set up to teach kids how to make and spend money. There is an entrance fee for kids and a smaller one for adults. Once inside, you are transported to a village-like setting with almost every occupation imaginable. The kids can learn to be pilots on an airliner, a fireman, work for the electric company, be an archaeologist, policeman, security guard, shop worker, hotel staff, chef, race car driver, actor/actress, interior designer, TV anchor person, music instrument maker, optomologist, doctor, babysitter…the list goes on and on! At each shop or venue inside this place, the kids take about 30 minutes learning the “trade” of that particular occupation. They are given brief instructions for their “task”, they get to dress up like the real thing, go in “real” trucks/vans and then get “paid” for the work they did. How cool is that!??

Brandon was a fireman and got dress up like one. He and his “crew” hopped into their fire truck to get to the fire. They arrived at a corner building with a simulated fire behind the glass panes of the windows. Each of the kids got behind a hose and sprayed water at the building to put the fire out! When the fire “went out”, they were done. They all hopped back into the fire truck and went back to the station. As they left, they got paid for the job they did.

Another example would be…
Brandon got to be a security guard. He dressed in the bullet proof gear, and helmet. He learned a few kicking and punching tricks into a soft mat that the employee held. They all grabbed the “gear” and hopped into their security van and then delivered the case of money to the bank safely!

So on and so on, we went from one occupation to another, earning money. The money is the equivalent to Chinese “Disney dollars”. It’s fake, but with realistic numbers and coloring. It was so much fun! Brandon learned a lot about many different kinds of jobs! E-Day Town also has occupations that kids are naturally drawn to, such as, race car driver, cake maker, ice cream maker and others. For these particular occupations, you had to pay a “training fee” to learn the trade (since they are a lot more fun). At the end of their “training”, they get to eat the goodies they made (cake, chocolate, ice cream, etc) and actually drive a smaller version of a F-1 race car around the track a couple of times. It was fantastic!! The really cool thing was that they still learned how to make the food they ate or drive the car. So, the entire experience is set up for the kids to learn at every turn. The employees even encourage the kids to count out the money to them for the training fees. Isn’t that great?? Once Brandon ran out of money, he learned that he had to earn more, by doing another job (or two).

Brandon really liked being a fireman and putting out the fire. He LOVED spending his money on cake making and ice cream. He also enjoyed driving the car. As an archeologist, he found some “ancient” artifacts in the sand…and seemed quite proud of himself. ;-) Mommy’s favorite part was when he learned the trade of babysitting…he actually had to diaper and feed a baby. It was sooooooo precious! He was incredibly gentle with the baby as he held it and walked around the room with it. Ahhhhh…mommy’s heart swelled at the sight. He’s going to be such a good daddy some day. He is already a fantastic big brother!

So, all in all, it was a FANTASTIC day and experience! What a great idea! We’ll definitely be going back!

Blogger Blocked!!

For those of you who don’t know, the Chinese government had decided to block all blogging websites, much to the frustration of many bloggers here in China. I finally found out that it had something to do with an Anniversary of the Tiananmen uprising several years ago. About this time each year, they try to prevent or deter any emotional outbursts, I guess.

There has been a lot of activity over here. We had a visitor, a close family friend, who came to stay a week in Shanghai. It was WONDERFUL to see a familiar face! She got to divide her time between us and some of her other friends, so I think she had a good visit. During her visit with us, we spent the day together, buying some fake bags and other merchandise, going out for Japanese curry and ending our day at the Shanghai Acrobatic Show. That was fun! The boys couldn’t take their eyes off the show, the entire time! It was good fun for everyone.  I got to spend some more time with her, shopping the pearl market, the day before she left. We had lots of fun and it was sure good to see her.

Well, it finally happened. We ran head on into a bus. As crazy as the traffic is here, both Allen and I are surprised it doesn’t happen more often. It turns out the bus had just hit a car in front of it and was rolling down an overpass hill, backwards, from the recoil. Our driver had just changed lanes and it wasn’t until we were just about on the bus, when he realized it was rolling backwards. SLAM! Luckily, I had braced myself for the impact and THANK GOODNESS the kids were in the back, strapped securely into their seats!! Many…and I’m talking, MANY expats, get over here and get very relaxed about putting their kids in their car seats. There are no car seat laws over here and the traffic moves relatively slowly because of the immense traffic. So, expats get lazy and either let their children move around the car or they hold them on their laps. But, let me tell you, even though we were only going between 20-30 mph…if the kids had been unrestrained…they would have flown through the car on impact due to them being so lightweight. When we actually hit, the force surprised even me. Don’t worry, we are all ok, including the driver. The sad thing is…when I told a very good friend of mine (expat) over here what had happened and stressed to her that my kids being secured in their car seats is what truly saved them from serious bodily harm…she completely ignored the warning and continues to let her kids wander about her car while travelling. Sad…

Brandon finished his T-ball season. Both boys are eager to start again in the fall. Brandon will be able to choose his sport and Ryan will be able to play soccer! Fun! Both boys are also eager to see their family in Hawaii this summer. I’m planning Ryan’s 3rd birthday with his friends over here…he has quite a few of them. We will be renting a water slide for the backyard and having some fun in the sun. Ryan likes to call his big brother “Ben 10” instead of Brandon because it’s easier…it’s totally cute. He’s turning three and growing so fast. His speech and overall mannerisms are that of a little boy now, instead of a toddler.

Allen is still working hard. He, as well as many other expats we know, continue to realize just how difficult this assignment has turned out to be for them. Allen and his expat colleagues continue to battle the everyday challenges of both work and home life over here. If it’s not one, it’s the other. So, I can say without a doubt, how much Allen is looking forward to a little R & R in Hawaii.

I’m continuing to explore my newly discovered creative talents. However, with the warmer weather and us getting incrementally busier, I have been drained of energy as of late. My “projects” have not been getting the attention they deserve. However, it’s still something I find I love to do…so I have no doubt that I will continue them as soon as I’m able.

Recently, I have found a few people on FB from my past. It has been good to reconnect with them and catch up on all they have been doing since I last saw them. I’m looking forward to being in a better time zone in Hawaii this summer, so that I can make more effort to reconnect with my CA, UT and AZ friends as well. A close friend of mine will be visiting us in Hawaii in July. I’m very excited about it! It will be good to see her and her girls. Brandon and her oldest daughter used to be very close once upon a time in Tucson…so I hope the kids will be able to reconnect this time as well. It will be good that we will ALL have a playmate in Hawaii for a short time. ;-) My kids and hers are exactly the same ages. We may also get one more visitor in Hawaii…but as of now, she’s still “undecided.”

Outlook

I recently had a discussion with my sister about us eventually having to leave Shanghai. She once mentioned to me, several months before, that by the time we leave, there will be many things I might miss about living here. And several months ago, I had told her she was right...I would miss Coffee Bean (since they STILL don't have one back in our home town). She had wisely let the subject drop at the time. Obviously, I had been in a bitter head space at the time and the ONLY thing I could see me missing was a Coffee Bean...which I still admit that I will miss - greatly.

However, IN ADDITION to Coffee Bean, I am now able to recognize SEVERAL things I will miss when we leave. Having turned a new leaf at our six month mark, I have been actively trying to state the positive things about living here, in my blogs. And interestingly enough, since doing so, I have lost some readers. Human nature, I guess...go figure!

So, having had this recent discussion again with my sister, I can guarantee you that YES, the benefits of moving here have finally exceeded the negatives. While those "negatives" still exist and never completely go away, being able to recognize the positives is half the battle to benefiting from them. And, let me tell you, we all have to ACTIVELY participate in recognizing and acknowledging those positives, all the time. It's not a natural and often times...EASY thing to do while living here.

If I had to leave tomorrow, I would walk away happy that we did something like this. I couldn't have said that a few months ago. Life is going well right now. I'm looking forward to this next year in Shanghai, for many different reasons. ONE, the excitement of 'going home' or at least making the decision to, gets closer and closer. TWO, I have much more ability to sit back, relax, look around, and have some fun. THREE, I'm looking forward to meeting and developing new and different friendships as well as developing the ones I already have. FOUR, being more relaxed, opens up SO many more doors and I'm interested to see which ones I walk through. And that is just to name a few...

SINCE being here, I have already developed parts of me I never knew existed. I'm nurturing some new found talents and I'm excited to see where they lead me. I'm growing leaps and bounds as a person and gaining insight and depth to SO much more than I ever imagined possible. I've said this before, but I absolutely LOVE meeting and talking with so many international women, and especially moms. I've learned some Chinese...not a lot...but some, and THAT is pretty incredible - for me. And that is just to name a few...

This year, I hope to shop a little and pick up some fabulous items found here in China, some that are unique to China and others, not so much. I'm looking forward to stocking up on some luxurious Chinese silk, pearls, scarves and other "girly" stuff. These are the kinds of things I'm sure I'll miss when I go back. I love that all this kind of stuff is available here - and cheap. When I return home, I'll miss the 'availability' to this type of product. We might look around for a couple of interesting pieces of furniture...or not. They have very interesting stuff here, but a little pricey. So, who knows!

The point is that, this year, I will be living here with eyes wide open, with the ability to see so much more than before. I like that feeling...

Repatriation

Re-what? Repatriation. About this time of year, all the expat magazines and newsletters come out with some type of article about this. It's important because many of expats forget to actually THINK about going home. We pour a ton of energy to moving over here from our home countries...we sweat over the details of settling in over here...we ride the emotional roller coasters...we work extra hard to save our marriages...we do the appropriate worrying about our kids' growth in a foreign land...we DO IT! However, many of us expats forget one minor detail - and struggle - and that is going home.

Many repatriates advise the rest of us...expatriates who are still here...about the dangers of going home. Apparently, there is a fine line between being here and being here too long. The longer you stay, the harder it is to go back. We have first hand accounts of this as well as have read countless stories about it.

For many expats, the idea of "going home" is a thrilling thought...especially from such a difficult place to live. However, many people tend to gloss over the idea of repatriating to their home countries because they have so many other things to worry about. And when it comes time to actually do it, they are busy with the move, ie the packing, and then the unpacking. It's when they get all settled again in their home countries, they sit back and go "Oh, crap. Now what do I do?"

Why does this happen? For several different reasons, apparently. According to one article in the magazine, Shanghai Family, people don't take the time to take necessary steps to prevent the effects of repatriation. According to this article, it's not just about "going home," it's a process...and it's called repatriation. It's important to recognize it as a process.

Some people don't say goodbye properly to new friends by seeing them a lot before they go, and then they end up missing their new friends fiercely when they return home. Some people expect to move right back into a social setting that they left 2-3 years before. Some people had sold their houses and they don't have a home to go back to, thus creating more upheaval in their lives. Some couples try and separate, having one go first and then the other follows...which often creates marital tension for many different reasons. Some people find it hard to gain their equilibrium after having hired help for so long. There are many reasons why this process is so difficult and it's made clear that the MAIN reason it's hard is because it's not addressed properly by the expats who are going home.

The fact is that the lives people had before they left their home countries, irrevocably change with their move. And when they return, they find that their friends and family have moved on to different things in the few years they had been gone. It just can't be exactly the same. People have babies, get married, change jobs, re-locate, etc. Life moves forward for everyone.

When Allen and I decided to do this, I had mentioned to him that I had moved often enough to know exactly this thing. I KNEW my life before our move to China wouldn't be the same one I would step back into when we returned. That was the saddest part about leaving. Because I was content and happy in our life before this move. And while I know I'm gaining so much more that is indescribable to many people, it doesn't change the fact that there is some sense of loss for the life I left. I can only hope that I'm able to find a new dynamic that makes me just as happy. For example...My friend and neighbor, who I used to "play with" during the day, has gotten a job. Another close friend of mine added a couple of other jobs in addition to her role as mother and wife. Another friend has ensconced herself into additional social activities that has rewarded her with a TON of new friends. Many friends I had before, have children who now go to a separate school than my boys will when we return. What is the reality that I'll be able to "hang out" with these good friends of mine in the same capacity? Slim. So, like moving here...I'll have to once again find a groove that works for me. I'm confidant it will happen, but my question is always...how long will it take? How long will I feel isolated? How long must I suffer the loneliness?

These are always the questions I have when moving to a different place. And it seems, that repatriation won't be much different. I'm glad I'm getting a head's up to this "process" that seems to need to happen, so I can do my very best in trying to prepare for it. I will miss many new friends here and it is always hard to leave friends behind...again, there will be a sense of loss. But, this is a reality for expats. We make friends under, often times, duress. This can be a powerful bond between two people...something only a few people can understand and relate with each other. When we go back home, the reality of these friendships dissolving is out there. However, we always hope that the bonds we have formed will be strong to endure the busy lives we lead when everything is "familiar" once again. Once we are home, life seems to take over...while living here, it seems to stand still. That is quite a difference, my friends!

We don't have to worry about any of this - yet. But, again, I'm glad to be aware of it for down the line. It's an interesting topic and one that comes up quite often over here. Several expats we have met have lived here for so long, they found they couldn't or had no desire to repatriate back home...much to their families disappointment. Is that what happens to many of the Chinese, Korean, Indian, or other foreign people who migrate to the States? Do they stay so long that they no longer desire to return home? I guess I'll never know. But, it is a chance to, perhaps, step into another person's shoes and see it through their eyes for awhile...

Heating Up!

One day it was a little too cold to go without a light jacket...and the next day - BAM! - it's too hot to even wear a short sleeve shirt. Straight to tank tops! Wow...I mean you could see it coming with the spring temperature fluctuations, but I don't think anyone can prepare themselves for such a drastic change which happens literally overnight!

It's hot. And with the warmer weather, the AC units are being turned on throughout our house. However, one tends to forget the amount of CRAP in the air day after day after day. I have a stuffier nose than if I had the flu. I finally figured out that part of the problem is from the air filters in the AC units in our house...from last year's CRAPPY air! Ugh. I ventured to take a look at one of them...and wished I hadn't. There was a pile-up about 1" thick...and we are breathing it! UGH!!!!

So, first thing tomorrow, we will be cleaning our filters! Also with the warmer weather, several moms are sitting in their houses, gazing outside longingly, wishing it was cool enough to take their kids outside. But, nope...too hot already. So, we are all left to find cover and shade in the malls or chance being outside with the kiddos before 9 am. This part of the year really stinks here...literally and figuratively. The smog is sooooo bad already. You can't even see an approaching bridge in it. Disgusting...

My mantra is: Hawaii, Hawaii, Hawaii...only 5 more weeks! It can't come fast enough!

Texting

Before moving to China, I had been one of those people who had never texted - ever. Even when someone would text me, I would call them back. I had felt myself slipping farther and farther down the path of...well..."old." I mean, isn't that what getting older means...when technology begins to surpass your own skill sets? I had heard about national competitions on who could text the fastest? I got upset when some flowers were delivered to me from my dad and had a texted version of his salutations. What was the world coming to for goodness sakes? Texting had replaced shorthand...but, it didn't mean I had to like it. I couldn't even pronounce the word "texting." I sound like a bitter old fart, right? hahaha

Well, that was before I had entered the International community of Shanghai. Texting is not just a choice here...it's sometimes a necessity, if you want to actually communicate with another person from another part of the world. I crashed headlong into the realities and benefits of texting with the very first woman and mom I had met here in Shanghai...a woman originally from Argentina. She had spent some time in the States...and while she thought she had a good handle of the English language...well, I'm still not sure if she actually did or not. She spoke very fast and with a very heavy accent, not to mention her English was, shall we say, stilted...with pieces missing in her sentences and many areas in which I had to extrapolate her meaning. Face to face, I could at least read her lips and body language and have a pretty good handle on what she was trying to say. However, talking to her over the phone was very nearly impossible. That is when I discovered the beauty of texting!

Several months later, I have spoken with many different moms from many different countries and have pursued active friendships with several of them. However, I'm not sure that would have been as easy or even possible without the technology of texting. English is often the second or even third language for many of the women I have met. So, the variety of inflections of the English language in addition to their accents, often make it difficult to communicate via the phone. Hey! I'm just glad they speak English at all! I would really be screwed if they didn't work so hard to speak MY language!

I'm now a bonafide text-ed-er! Is that a word and if so, how in the world do you spell that?? And since I don't have all that fancy phone technology, ie, an iPhone, etc, I find myself developing speedy typing skills as well as the texting language shared by all texters...a.k.a, shorthand via phone. All my friends text. They, too, must have found it an easier way to communicate to each other. Thank goodness for this technology! hahaha

So, if u get a message from me via email & u c a short version, like this, I'm probably writing 2 u from my fone in the car. Actually...I'm texting u! ;-)

Blue too

Oh, Blue. Our poor baby Blue dog. As soon as the weather got warmer, it seemed his paws began to itch. We are not sure if he's developing a late allergy in life or if the landscapers sprayed some kind of toxic chemical on our grass...that our kids also play on...every day.

Anyway, as dogs usually do, he began to lick his wounds. They began to fester. I didn't want to take him to the previous vet we had used because the last thing they had given him made him soooo thirsty, we could barely keep enough water in his bowl. There was definitely something wrong with that and since all the meds were in chinese and the vets could barely speak english...I decided to try and find someone else. So, I did some research and found a vet about an hour away, on the other side of the city...ugh. BUT, he's British...so, that gave me hope.

We trekked on down there and sure enough, Blue has a serious infection on 3 of his 4 paws. That must be soooo uncomfortable! :-( Really serious infections too. We just had a 3 day weekend (labor day here) and his paws had gotten worse exponentially. It got so bad, that the infection stinks to high heaven! You could smell him (or his paws at least) down the hall! Poor, poor Blue!

THIS vet seems to think that the OTHER vet prescribed some kind of steroid the last time...which isn't what he should have been on at all. Grrr. It was nice to be able to actually talk to this vet in english. He sent us home with a medicinal shampoo for his paws, antibiotics, antihistamines, etc. Whew! I threw in a couple of doggie bones and we were on our way home.

I immediately started him on the medicine, washed his paws and put nylon booties on him, so he doesn't have access to lick them. He really hates that. However, I tried to explain to him it's the booties or the collar...and mom really hates the collar. So does he...he just doesn't remember it.

Anyway, I can't wait for the medicine to kick in...not only because it'll make him feel better...but also because the stink will probably go away. Nothing smells worse than festering infection. Yuck!

The bigger picture is...what are they spraying on our grass?? Talk about "yuck!" WHO KNOWS what they are doing! And, of course, it is almost impossible to find out the REAL ingredients of any of the pesticides they use. IF they fess up to using any at all. And, OF COURSE, that throws me into a full loop of other questions...like...Are they spraying something on it? If so, what? Is it toxic? If so, how much? What are the ingredients? Is it safe for humans? If not, how unsafe is it? If they don't use it, will we be getting an infestation of unwanted insects in addition to the unbearably hot weather? Is it possible to even get more eco-friendly or organic pesticides? Where would I start to look for that? Who would I ask? How would I ask?

AAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just another thing to worry about. Hawaii is looking better and better, all the time. Can't wait for a break!

Reality people!

Ok...as much as I try to get around this topic and yes, even in some cases, actually try and ACCEPT it, I can't help but talk about the subject of toilets over here! Toilets, toilets, toilets! I know I'm going to have something like 20 blogs about this in the end. In fact, just going over my previous blogs, I'm proud of myself for abstaining from talking about the subject as much as I have. I definitely have days where I want to SCREAM my frustration about this! Aaaaaggghhhhhhhhhhh!!! Ok, I feel better.

It frustrates me to NO END the level of obscurity the chinese seem to think about their toilet habits...if they even do. So, mostly, they have squat toilets over here. No surprise, right? Does everyone actually knoowww what the proper etiquette is when using squat toilets? First, you are supposed to BRING your own TP (that's important). Second, you're supposed to avoid the puddles of BOTH types of bodily waste while trying to straddle the hole in the ground. Third, it's recommended you have Olympic medals in "squatting." If you don't, well then, you are just s*** out of luck...no pun intended. Fourth, avoid leaving your house at all if you even THINK you might have a nervous colon that day. Fifth, NEVER drop your TP in the toilet because it can't flush it down...so you have to (along with everyone who was there before you) deposit your USED TP in the OPEN trash container to the side of the hole in the ground. Friends...I don't think I have to paint the picture THAT makes! And sixth, but definitely NOT the least, wash your hands with plain water because soap isn't usually provided (Gee...did I forget to put that canister of liquid soap in my purse again?) and then don't forget...try and dry your hands under the luke warm, energy efficient dryer that only works once...before you touch the poop and germ infested door handle on your way out!

THAT is squat toilet procedure. Now, if you're lucky enough to find a "western" toilet...but you happen to find it in a "local" area. Well, that provides a whole other kind of adventure in your day. Again, heaven help you if you forget your own TP! Ahhh, now here's the crux. You feel giddy about finding a western toilet. However, you scramble to find the one little packet you keep in your purse for JUST this emergency. You locate the tissue package at the bottom of your purse, blow off the dust, turn towards the toilet...and realize, you have a choice. You can use your tissue to a) cover the nice western style toilet seat you were so lucky to find or b) actually use the TP for what man had created it for. Why do you have to make this choice?? Because the EMPTY TP containers in ALL the stalls indicate that while TP was originally considered for this toilet area, the implementation of such ingenuity was completely LACKING! Where is the toilet manager???? So, you're back to squatting...only this time, you are using an entirely different set of muscles trying to keep your derriere up and off the icky toilet seat...that, my friends, is a completely different angle to point your backside! And you walk out feeling incredibly lucky if you didn't run out of your little package of TP BEFORE you were done wiping. If you did...haha, well, too bad. When you're done, you're done. And I recommend that ANYONE visiting this city ALWAYS wear underwear. It's not an option...sometimes...it's just a necessity.

Reality...CHECK!

Ok...the only reason I bring this up, is because for some ODD reason, this topic keeps coming up in almost every female social circle I have entered the past couple of weeks. Again, how odd. The first time it was brought up, I was having lunch with two of my chinese speaking friends. I don't remember the context of our direct conversation, but they both agreed that westerners (female) should never leave their western men alone, for long, here in China. Wow. That seemed like a statement...especially coming from Chinese women. They said that many chinese women will stop at nothing to get a western man. It doesn't matter what they look like, etc...they are after a western passport...and all the other "goodies" that come along with snatching up a western man. Whoa...okayyy.

Then, a few days later, I was at a party with all western women and several of the women started speaking about different scenarios of affairs they knew about. Typical woman gossip, right? Many of these expat women had been expats for MANY years and known all sorts of other expat families. They were not shy about giving the details of some of these affairs. Sadly, many of the stories were about western men who had dumped their wives and kids, sent them packing back to their home country and remarried their 'exotic service' chinese massage therapists. Stupid men. Apparently, that happens a lot here. Stupid men. The good news...is that I have found out how many chinese women spurn those "man stealers". One, because those women have stepped away from their culture and acted no better than a slut and two, because these women have purposely broken up marriages to get what they want....which gives them a "black heart." Coincidentally, on this particular evening, I had also heard about a couple of western women having affairs with their drivers because their husbands travelled and worked so much. Some of the drivers know this about the husbands and pay particular attention to their western employers. They end up taking care of them, when their husbands fail to do so. Sad...

I was having dinner with some ladies of a "mixed" crowd recently, and AGAIN, the subject came up...and even MORE stories of how chinese women like to steal western men, and some of them were their own personal stories! Like how a chinese woman was writing love notes to one woman's husband at work, etc.

Then, most recently, I was having lunch with another group of ladies and AGAIN the subject came up! Is it in the air?? Is it a full moon!?? And this time, a couple of them had their own personal stories to tell. Like how one of the women in the group came to Shanghai because her husband was having an affair with a chinese woman. So, she quit her job in her home country (which she didn't want to do in the first place) and joined him to "keep an eye on him." Isn't that crazy!?? What's really incredible is how these women were so candid and open about it all. Like they wanted everyone else to learn from them...or something.

Reality...CHECK!

I guess these are all the "realities" of living here...but some of them are so sad. With a 50% divorce rate in an expats home country...you can add an additional 30% on top of that for expats (that's a real statistic), especially in places so hard to live. Sometimes, both spouses feel like they can go a little crazy with all the pressure they each endure in places like this. Many couples feel like they are damned if the do...or damned if they don't. Just as many couples face divorce when one spouse chooses to stay home and the other chooses to go be an expat somewhere. However, when they both decide to go, each faces their own issues, pressure, challenges and troubles. Many people also face depression...THAT is also a reality. The men work a lot to "escape" or to keep up with the demands of their company and the women slip further away in one way or another. It's so, so sad. But, such a reality. Nobody really ever tells you about this kind of stuff when you are considering moving to a place like this. This is the kind of stuff you just have to "learn the hard way." Like an initiation of sorts. Maybe that's what separates the levels of expats... or number of years you've been one. Experience.

Well, you can rest easy...Allen and I have come a loooonngggg way since when we first landed on this planet. We are closer than ever in our relationship. Go figure...all we had to do to get to this place between us...is move to China. Ha!

My Birthday!

My birthday this year started a little early. The boys wanted to help celebrate by taking me out to dinner the night before. A friend had purchased a cake for me, so we brought it to the restaurant with us...the boys were happy. Ryan was thrilled he was partaking of "Mommy's party." When we arrived home, there was one of the most beautiful bouquets of flowers sitting in one of my vases, on our kitchen table. Who put it there? Allen swears it wasn't him...so who could have done it?


It turns out our ayi had left them for me after we left the house for my b-day dinner. They are SO beautiful and I'm so touched by her gift. It was really sweet and I made sure to [try and] tell her so. Another surprise came the morning of my birthday. Our driver presented me with a bottle of wine. I also thought that was very sweet and thoughtful for him to do. I don't even know how he knew it was my b-day.


The boys all woke me up with sweet cards. Both of the kids had drawn cards for me and Brandon had written a sweet note. Ahhhhh... A perfect morning for my b-day! Dad ended up taking the kids to school for me as I waited patiently for his return. He took the day off to surprise me all day long! Wow! How sweet is that!? :-) Upon his return, he presented me with 29 roses...a symbol of everlasting love for the chinese. Aaaawwww....



First, he took me to a place I had, quite literally, forgotten about...the Shanghai Geological Museum. It was FANTASTIC!! After arriving in Shanghai, I had wanted to check it out for several months. But, for a couple of different reasons, I kind of forgot about it's existence. Allen was SO thoughtful in remembering about it and taking me there for my b-day! The true gift, however, was the fact that my husband actually seemed interested the whole time. Wow...what a guy! ;-) The museum really was great. Being a little farther out of the city, I had initially thought it might be a shack with some rocks in it. However, as with many museums here in Shanghai, it turned out to be a stunning display...this one of rock specimens, geology and paleontology. It was FABULOUS and SO wonderful for me to see!




Allen then took me out for a healthy lunch, which is always nice to have here in Shanghai. And then we proceeded to our 5-star hotel. After checking in, Allen sent me off to the hotel's LUXURIANT spa for a 90-minute Balinese massage. It felt SOOOO great! When I was done, he treated me to a wonderful all-you-can-eat seafood buffet at a nearby hotel. YUMMM-MY!

Upon returning to our own hotel, a b-day cake was delivered to our room! YUM-MY! Both of us relaxed over a drink in the lounge and called it a night after that! It really was a fantastic day and I'm SO appreciative to Allen for providing me with such a wonderful b-day!

What about the kids, you ask?? Both kids were in school all day. Allen made all the arrangements for the day. The ayi and driver picked up the boys from school, took them home and got them fed. A good girlfriend of mine volunteered to take the boys for the night. How wonderful is that!? The boys ask me about 10 times a day to go over to this person's house, so you can imagine how excited they were when they discovered they were having a "sleep over." They were THRILLED! And we found out the next day that they had a great time!

SO, I had a wonderful and relaxing birthday...thanks to my loving hubby! A girl can't ask for more...now can she?! :-)

Strange week

This is a week filled with activities! A close friend of mine, who is Chinese, is celebrating her birthday two days before I celebrate mine. In addition...I was invited to go to a jewelry party with another friend, I'm organizing a good-bye lunch for someone else and on behalf of my friend and myself, I'm trying to organize a ladies night out to celebrate our birthdays with mutual friends.

Back home, this kind of activity filled week would be a piece of cake. However, when dealing with international women, you never know what will happen...which can be frustrating.

To top it all off, I have been feeling very introspective lately...and scared for reasons I'm not willing to disclose at the moment. So, all in all, this is turning out to be a very weird and strange week...emotionally.

I was thrilled to be invited to the jewelry party, since I haven't seen a "product" party since arriving here and wasn't sure if they even existed or were possible. So, with a light heart, I attended this party on the arm of a girlfriend. It turns out the entire group of women at this house, including the hostess, are British...with the exception of two New Zealanders and one Australian (my friend). Normally, this wouldn't have been an issue. However, this particular group were SO unfriendly and very clickish! I'm pretty good at socializing and I actually had to work HARD throughout the evening to even be included in their "group" discussions...and that was only after they were drinking glasses of wine all night. Even my girlfrind found companionship with the New Zealanders in the room, in which I officially felt left out after that. They talked about joining musical instrument clubs together (instruments apparently specific to that region of the world). So, I was left to look at the same jewelry over and over again just for something to do. Hell, I even booked a party of my own just for something else to do! It was pathetic and I wanted to leave about 20 minutes after arriving. Like I said, I actually made an gargantuan effort to socialize, ie, asking people questions, giving my input whenever possible...to little or no effect. It was a very frustrating evening and it reminded me of all the "crap" I hate about clickish women back home. PAL-EASE! What's worse, is that these women's children go to BISS, the school Brandon will be attending next year. I sure hope I find friendlier women than this group next year...but one never knows in an International community.

I have been putting in an effort to organize at least three different events this week...a spa day for my friend's b-day, a good-bye lunch and the big b-day ladies night out. All three events are turning out to be almost more trouble than it was worth to organize. When dealing with different cultures, there are some "allowances" you have to expect. But even knowing that, it doesn't mean it's any less frustrating when things don't go as smoothly as you know they would back home. I'm a planner...everyone who knows me, knows that. So, organizing events are ususally no trouble at all...it's what I do. Well, it's just not the same over here and I'm trying to decide how often I want to keep trying to do it. I don't have an answer to that...yet.

My friend who is celebrating her b-day, is Chinese. She, normally, doesn't get to do anything fun on her b-day...so I decided to take her out...expat style. I had planned to do things that are meant to "pamper". Having planned a spa day of sorts, there were a few activities that required appointments. My chinese friend didn't seem to understand this as she was "running late" from the get go. If I had known she had certain obligations before meeting me that day, I would have considered it when making the appointments. I wish there wasn't such a failure to communicate with just about, anyone chinese. All day, I had no idea if she liked the activities - or not. And the frustrating thing about it, is she would never tell me she would have rather done something else or eaten somewhere else...even though THIS friend I always think I can count on to "not be so Chinese." Hmmm...guess not.

I have been working with the school in organizing a good-bye lunch for a fellow parent from school. She has been extremely helpful in her volunteer efforts as a Class Parent. I'm the Class Parent Coordinator. So, I had approached the principal and asked if the school was willing to give all the Class Parents some sort of token gift for their efforts. The school responded enthusiastically and asked me to coordinate what to give them and where to find it. So, I did. I had found an appropriate gift and the school said they would take over the ordering and purchasing of it. Great! However, I found out today that their purchaser was just now in the process of having some words embroidered onto the shirts of the panda bears. Ok, normally that would be fine...but I was very specific that I, personally, wanted to give this Class Parent her gift, especially since I had organized everything weeks ago and made sure I communicated that I wanted at least ONE finished for this person for her good-bye lunch. The school had said "no problem." I find out that the principal wants to hand it to her and had purposefully delayed the process to do it on a day convenient for her. A day she knew I wouldn't be able to be at school, which happens to the very last day this Class Parent will be at school before she moves. Grrr. Talk about taking credit! I could hardly believe it! What really galls me about this is that I have worked very hard to coordinate these parents all year long, having wanted to give up the position many times since it was very demanding on my time. But, I didn't and I was totally railroaded by the principal! SO frustrating! Grrr.

I had organized a "mutual" b-day party and invited some friends for dinner and drinks on the weekend. Between the both of us, there were at least twenty people on the invite list. If nobody was able to come, that would have been fine. But, what I find extremely frustrating is the chinese efforts to "save face." What this means, is that they either can't come or don't want to, but instead of saying so, they insinuate they'll be able to make it and the closer the day of the event, one-by-one, they drop out for one reason or another. And the reason(s) are always "sudden." Like...my husband left this morning out of town and I have no idea when he'll be back. Really?? No idea?? Or...we have been [suddenly] invited to a wedding this weekend and my husband thinks we should go. Wow...really? A two day advance notice on a wedding?? It's SO frustrating! I actually don't even need or want a reason they don't want to or can't make it...just as long as they could tell me this upfront. This whole "process" is really ridiculous. And this "process" was confirmed by a chinese friend, which she happens to find frustrating as well. So, it's not my imagination! Initally, I told the restaurant to reserve a table for a certain number...and I think that number will be cut by more than half by the time of the event. Cultural differences...can be SO frustrating!

So...it's been a really weird week for me. Even after people have settled into this expat thing here in China, they still admit to having "bad China days." I can relate. Although, this is turning out to be a frustrating China week.

Tidbits

If you ever wanted to find where all the Americans are in Shanghai, visit a baseball field. I’ve never seen such a concentration of Americans as I have on Brandon’s T-ball field. The league that organizes it separates the sports by day, so Saturdays are reserved for baseball of all ages. Sundays, they play soccer. All the American dads are either coaching or standing nearby cheering their children on, usually by giving them advice. One morning, I was standing near two [rare] international dads, watching their sons. They were talking loudly about how Americans are crazy about this sport and other sports as well…and how they seemed to think we, as Americans, put our children in sports from the age of two…”or something crazy like that.” Haha I wanted to correct them, “It’s actually three years old.” But, I didn’t, especially considering we had Brandon in soccer at three and his dad was the lead coach! Haha Yeah, so I guess it’s an American thing…we love our sports. What we found interesting, however, is how difficult it was to find anything Baseball related here in Shanghai. They have one guy on the side of the fields selling big catching gloves, and packaged sets of baseball items…which he charges a phenomenally high price. We didn’t want to pay such a high price for something that we know we can get back home so cheaply. However, when we started to shop around in Shanghai, we finally understood why that guy can get away with selling his stuff for that price (which he imports from Taiwan or something). There are NO gloves or other baseball accessories, anywhere. Soccer? Sure, no problem. Roller skates? Yeah, of course. Ping pong sets…yep! But, nooooo baseball stuff. Just about when we were ready to give up, there was a small section of one floor of one mall, where we found a couple of gloves in the back corner. One medium size and one bigger size…and not much cheaper than the guy on the field. Ugh! So, we got the medium glove, thinking maybe Brandon can grow into it. We got the last one in that size. You can bet we’ll be stocking up on these kinds of things when we go back home. Just one more thing…

I had lunch the other day with one of my girlfriends who is Chinese but had lived in the States for quite a few years. We had a lovely lunch, talking about many things. She had visited Shanghai in 2000. She talked about many differences between then and now in this great big city. Having seen the “before”, she is one who can truly appreciate the “now” of Shanghai. According to her, the traffic was almost unbearable back then…scared her to death! She mentioned that while there are many more cars on the road today, the city officials have worked really hard to govern the traffic more appropriately. Also, she said that the city is generally MUCH cleaner than it had been back in 2000. She has also noticed many more expat friendly venues throughout the city, such as, restaurants, grocery stores, retail shops, etc. She also mentioned that customer service used to be beyond horrible, since everyone is "assigned" a job from the government. So, there used to not be many incentives for people to work harder. However, the government has given many of the companies more control of their employees, such as giving them incentives, pay raises and even dissolution of contracts. She says it's MUCH better now. Hmmm. Also, she said that any person from a minority group (like a smaller tribe or village) in China, can have more than one child. It's just the "majority" groups who cannot. I have also learned that if someone from the majority group wants to have more than one child, they have to pay the government something like 200,000 RMB...which is close to $30,000 USD, for each additional child. Wow, that's a lot of money! It's no wonder why many of the chinese people seek other countries to settle down or go to them to have more babies. Hmmm. Seeing Shanghai through her eyes over the course of our lunch, I was also able to appreciate what we DO have here in Shanghai compared to many other parts of this big country and it was nice to get her perspective and understand a little better, the efforts made to make Shanghai more inhabitable, especially for expats.

The Chinese can’t dance. I’m sorry, but they can’t. I’m talking a good percentage of them, of course, not all of them. I’m not the top authority on such things, mind you, but it borders on hilarious to watch Chinese try and dance. Just as hilarious as they think we are when we try and use chopsticks or speak chinese. Hooters is a restaurant we frequent semi-often, as it has American food and good music. Hooters girls are taught choreographed moves to certain songs, but to watch them in their stilted attempts to dance these steps, is almost painful to watch! It was confirmed, however, when I went out one night with a girlfriend. We started with dinner and ended up at another nearby restaurant that had some rockin’ American tunes. We stayed for awhile and danced our hearts out. While on the dance floor, it was incredible how stiff Chinese people are when they dance. Rhythm just isn’t their groove, I guess. It all worked out though, since my friend and I were happy to show many of them just how it’s supposed to be done…or, well, close enough, at least. We had several people come up and thank us as they left the venue. Good times…


We ended up going to the Shanghai Flowerport again because the kids have been begging us to take them again. And since the tulips are only around through April, we figured we should go once more. I have been trying to figure out just what the appeal is for my kids at the Flowerport. Granted, the first time we went, we had a sensational time…but even after going a second time, the boys want to go back. They have never even asked to go to Disneyland this many times. Obviously there is a lot to see and do for adults, since the flowers create such a beautiful background, but why do our kids love it so much? It occurred to me this place is like a natural amusement park, providing all of their favorite things…running, jumping, games, playing, bouncing, sand building, challenges, boats, bridges and labyrinths. A place like Disneyland provides a TON of visual stimulus for kids, which draws them back over and over again. Where THIS place provides physical stimulus for them, as well as several lessons on biology , chemistry and physics. I imagine this would be a teacher’s paradise as well. Everything about the park, is natural, including all the rocks, etc. Everything they touch, see, and smell are from natural sources. For example, the kids wanted to play with their cars on some rock outcroppings. They kept falling over themselves over and over again, since their shoes seemed to “stick” to the rock. We were sitting on an outcropping of weathered granite. Because of it’s weathered condition, the texture of the rock was very rough, thus creating the bottoms of their shoes to “stick”. It was a good, quick and impromptu lesson about rock mechanics…on the spot. The WHOLE park is full of those impromptu lessons! My kids, on both occasions, keep asking questions about the natural world around them. Personally, I LOVE it! Allen and I were talking about how great this “amusement” park is and I wished they had parks like this in the States. Allen, however, pointed out a very sensible reason why they don’t. Liability. In the States, kids wouldn’t be able to jump off the rocks or scramble over an obstacle course made for adults, or walk behind a waterfall…not without major guard rails and signs and ropes and “da kine” to make it all safe. And a park like that, wouldn’t be the same. It would lose it’s natural appeal. This park has these things only on the most appropriate attractions, but most everything else is left to the parents to “supervise” their children, which creates those impromptu lessons about…gravity, especially. Other examples of lessons include, a biology lesson on algae and other plant life along the water’s edge… from a boat, or why we got stuck when our boat hit a patch of thick reeds and both the motor and the rudder didn’t seem to work because they got clogged, or how two opposing forces of gravity work when bumper cars going in opposite directions hit each other (one backing up while the other is going forward), or how to navigate a labyrinth using the sight of the sun in the sky or the sound of people’s voices in the direction you want to go…ETC! The series of obstacle courses alone provide TONS of lessons on physics as well. It really should be no wonder why the boys love this place so much. I feel so lucky we found something like this here in China…because as Allen pointed out, we will never see it in the States.




I have discovered that not all expats’ trips back home are as wonderful as mine had been back in January. Don’t get me wrong, SEVERAL of them are just as wonderful from the many stories I have heard. So, it came as somewhat of a shock that not everyone likes their home trips very much. I recently ran into a friend of mine from Europe and she mentioned that the weather was really crappy, their lodging was painful and the entire trip was hardly worth it. This person has been here less time than we have, so I was really surprised. She feels like this is home for her now and she is now considering that she might want to extend their time either in Shanghai or somewhere else just as challenging in the future. Hmmm. I find that interesting…can’t relate myself…but it’s interesting to me. For many of the expats I have spoken to personally, their first home trip provided them with not only perspective, but was also often a balm to their soul. Now, THAT is something I can understand, since my own home trip experience was so phenomenal for me. According to a friend of mine over here, I have seemed a lot calmer since returning from the States. I would agree…things are much better.

So, I’ve provided a few of the “tidbits” of our lives these days. With better weather, we seem to be getting busier with activities. I’ll keep you all updated…!

HAPPY EASTER!!!!

To all of our friends and family back home...HAPPY EASTER!! We just spent a wonderful and lively Easter day with a few of our friends, chinese and expat alike! I especially miss our big, beautiful home back in the States around the Holidays. I love to have friends and family over for big gatherings where we can all eat and chat! I have hesitated to entertain over here in China due to several reasons...

One: It can very difficult to find Holiday themed accouterments around town. And if you are told where to look, it's a good possibility that the vendor or store runs out of the item you're looking for or never carried it in the first place. Food is an even harder battle to fight around the Holidays. All the western items we associate with certain Holidays can be very difficult to find over here. You really need to know where to look. And like I said, it's not always a guarantee you'll find it. If you DO find something you want, you can BET you'll be paying top dollar for it.

TWO: Our house is a little smaller than our home in the States...and it echoes due to the hollow flooring. While we have plenty of toys for the kids to play with, the volume increases exponentially with each child. So, if the weather is poor and we are all confined to indoor activities...well, it could be potentially deafening. It's often times unclear just how many people to invite over to to this constriction.

THREE: Mixing of cultures can be...tricky. You want everyone to have a good time, so of course, you have to think about the "right" mix of people. There will be those who can speak Chinese and those who can't...and it's important to make sure that everyone will have someone to talk to during the event, preferably a few people they can mingle with during the party would be nice.

Since it took awhile for us to adjust, it was clearly a bad idea to try and host an event. However, since I had several people who wanted somewhere to go for an Easter egg hunt, and we have a nice, big backyard, it seemed like a good idea to test the party waters, or so to speak.

There were a few things I had to "roll with". Easter is almost non-existent here in China. It doesn't generally promote a large cash flow for the vendors, like Christmas, and the fact that there aren't too many Christians here...Easter is not celebrated with great fervor like other Holidays. I didn't find any plastic eggs. The french grocery store had a few chocolate eggs that were hollow, in their imported section. They had a few larger chocolate items that they wanted a small fortune for, like white chocolate bunnies in little wooden cages, chocolate roosters and chocolate bells (not sure what's up with that). Egg coloring kits were nowhere to be found and the import grocery store had a few chocolate items and lollipops. Those cheap pastel colored Easter baskets that can normally be found in the $.99 store back home were non existent in all of Shanghai...well, at least in the 20 or so stores I looked.

I was SO lucky that some family members back home sent the kids Easter baskets. They even included an egg coloring kit, which gave the kids more decorating variety! THANK YOU SO MUCH for sending those Easter care packages! Easter has always been a big deal in our family and I was happy to be able to produce a comparable Easter to one they would get back home, especially since they are at the perfect ages to enjoy it!

Even if I find food that I'm familiar with for the Holiday, I often question the quality and it's origin. However, with that being said, I did happen to [accidentally] stumble upon an imported half boneless, cooked ham in the Costco equivalent warehouse store. Yah! What luck! And there was only one of them! All I had to do was heat it up in the oven for 1-2 hours and it was ready to go! It turned out to be super easy! And considering that ham could be served as the main meat for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter...or ANY large gathering, I feel much more confidant to host future parties. After the ham was heated, I sliced it up and served it with some rolls. I had brought over Costco's Rasberry Chipolte sauce and it went VERY well with the ham as a side condiment. Whew! However, WHITE eggs are really hard to find over here. They are all brown or even black-ish. But, no white. Frustrating!



So, what were some of my solutions to the Easter theme quest? I purchased the chocolate eggs I had found and added it to the bunches of LIGHT brown eggs we can find just about anywhere over here. Even the light brown eggs turned out pretty good. I added a little more vinegar to the color dye, so that the color would stick a little better. It worked! We had tons of eggs to hide by the time we were done decorating! I made the event a potluck, so I wasn't the only one responsible for providing both western and chinese food for our guests. That way, our chinese guests felt like they could stuff their bellies as well. I put out lots of nuts and a couple of appetizers to supplement the ham and other food. We had bowls of chips and crackers and a plate of fruit as well. We had lots of drinks for both the kids and adults. I had asked the parents who wanted to join us to bring eggs, boiled and ready to color as well as a basket for each of their children. I decorated the house with plenty of fresh flowers!



I found a couple of industrial looking baskets at a store, in addition to them having the baskets that relatives sent. We had two major crafts for the kids. First, the kids colored the eggs they had brought. The boys and I had colored several of them a day in advance, so the kids could either color the eggs in the dye or use markers and stickers to place on the already dried colored eggs. They produced a lot of artwork! ;-) Second, we decorated our baskets with ribbons and fresh cut flowers. They were soooo pretty!



All the children who were at the party, were at an age to believe in the Easter Bunny. So, we got them all riled up about the Easter Bunny's arrival and pulled the shades while the eggs were being hid along his bunny trail. The kids LOVED it! Then, they were set free to find the eggs as well as a couple of super big chocolate chickens! What fun! All their little eyes were lit up as they raced all over our backyard to find eggs! And they all did sooo good! Afterwards, the kids settled down to dip into their Easter baskets right away. The rest of the day was spent playing outside. It was a beautiful spring day and they all had lots and lots of spring time fun! :-)

My Chinese friends wanted me to explain our Easter Holiday tradition(s). Like Christmas, I explained that Easter could be celebrated a couple of different ways (or both), both religiously and to celebrate the coming of spring (ie, Easter Bunny and his farm friends). They compared it to their own spring festival in January/February. I agreed. I also made sure to mention that Easter is my own family's tradition to celebrate spring. I explained that my own family usually got together and ate, had Easter egg hunts, etc. We generally spent lots of time outdoors in the spring time air. We decorated with spring colors and collected spring flowers. They liked this explanation a lot because I think they could understand it. The celebration of spring seems to be universal. ;-)

Also, I have had to introduce my chinese friends to the idea of potluck. It has taken them a couple of times, coming over to our house, to understand this concept. Now, they really like it! Culturally, the chinese women will spend tons and tons of time in the kitchen, preparing dish after dish of food for the family. Generally, a chinese party will have everyone sitting down to a meal together. While the potluck idea offers more versatility. My chinese friend pointed out that westerners tend to move around a lot more over the meal, especially potluck style. She observes that it's more casual, where the chinese way is a bit more formal. She says she likes the idea of not having to stay in the kitchen so much. She likes 'potluck' style. Everyone can have a variety of food, with much less work! I agree!

As a parting gift, I had separated out several flowers from the bunches of flowers I decorated the house with, tied them up with several pieces of ribbon I had bought for the basket craft and gave them to the women in our group. I also had found cheap clay eggs that contained a live plant inside and had funny faces drawn on the outside. The kids will fun cracking open the tops of those and watching the plant grow. And then I packaged up the leftover ham and sent a large portion home for the families to eat for days. The parents' arms were stuffed full of goodies as they said their goodbyes! ;-) And the kids were more than ready for an early bedtime. haha

All in all, it was a fantastic Easter, spent with good friends and lots of fun! I love Easter. I love spring. HAPPY SPRING Everyone!!

Tulip Flower Festival

After a busy Holiday weekend, it was a perfect day to wander over to the Shanghai Flowerport, where they are having their annual Tulip Flower Festival. The place was quiet, serene, beautiful and peaceful largely due to the fact that everyone was back to work today (Monday was the observed Holiday). The sun was shining and it was actually warm weather, so he hit the road to the Festival.

O.M.G! What a gorgeous display of beautiful flowers! The park was a HUGE place, extending at least a few miles wide. I had no idea a place like this existed anywhere near Shanghai. Well, in fact, it was about an hour's drive outside of Shanghai. I initially thought we would be there just a few hours...but we ended up staying a full 8 hours before we had seen most of the park...yeah, MOST of it.







The boys kept going and going and going. Every time I even thought to suggest we head back to the main gate, they requested to "explore some more!" The park had SO much to see! I couldn't believe it! Every nook and cranny we explored ended up having something fabulous to either do or see! It truly was incredible...like we had been handed a gift...of fun. A Shanghai Mama had recommended this place and I decided impromptu this morning that I would take the boys since the weather was so nice. Such a good decision!

Well, the entire park had a "Holland" theme due to the immense about of tulips carpeting the ground, in all colors, types and designs. But, the park also had large bodies of water with paddle boats, fountains, waterfalls, rocks, statues, a mini kid fair, exhibition buildings, windmills, greenhouses, bridges and a mini adult eco challenge obstacle course! Wow, right!?


After we arrived and started walking through the park, it only took about 20 minutes before we were targeted...for pictures. Yes, we even had a small following through a good portion of the park. The kids got to a point where they wanted to choose the most isolated or narrow path, just to get away from the adults taking pictures of them. People wanted pictures of the kids, of me, of me with the kids, and of course, of THEM and the kids. It's CRAZY! And they all speak to us like we were some animal in a cage, cooing and sweet talking us...like they are trying to get us to do tricks. Every time I would stop for a photo op, OFF the beaten path...I would turn around and there would be a line of chinese people, smiling and pointing at us. The kids could have done anything and they would have enjoyed watching them do it. We tried to find a nice, pretty and QUIET place to sit down and have a picnic. As soon as we sat down on the grass, one of the park employees came and stood over us, the ENTIRE time...just watching us eat. She even pulled my backpack open to see the food inside. She wanted to know what we chose to eat. Isn't that crazy?! That's not to mention all the other people who walked OFF the path to watch us as they were strolling past. It's disconcerting at the VERY least. Most of the time, it's downright annoying and obnoxious. We had one photographer team with professional looking cameras, stalk our every move for about an hour, taking pictures of all of us continuously! I can only imagine where those pictures will turn up...?

Well, anyway, despite the annoying passersby, we had an excellent day. The kids just got used to the people after a while (what else were they going to do?) and we ended up having so much fun! Brandon was a real sport about mommy wanting him to pose for HER pictures. The boys even had a few tries taking pictures of both mommy and the flowers. They are naturals behind the camera! ;-) And they had a lot of fun trying! We did end up having a nice picnic among the tulips! The boys got to play games, drive bumper cars, bounce in a bounce house, go on a merry-go-round and watch mommy win them prizes with darts! The boys got to play in the sand on a real sand beach! I'm telling you...this park was amazing! Not to mention all the rocks they were able to climb and jump off and the bridges they got to run across! They also had races in the lanes of the tulips and climbed up a rock hill! Whew!



We also went to see the Barbie and Lego exhibition in a large looking ship! We saw the very first Barbie, sold in 1959, and saw everything in between then and now! We saw Lego art and Lego statues and even got to play with Legos at the end of our tour! You can imagine how much fun the boys had doing that! We all got to eat ice cream for our afternoon snack and proceeded to whole new section of the park.






The corner of the park had a very long bridge to walk across and there were also rock paths to jump along on the ground. Then we followed Brandon (our leader) through a Chinese symbol labyrinth. He did so good! I was very proud of him! He located the edge of the maze and kept a steady eye on the outside, through the tall bushes, pacing us through twists and turns and eventually leading us out the other side! He has a good sense of direction! On the other side of the maze, was an adult obstacle course. How fun! Brandon amazed me further when he completed several of the obstacles across the water canal! He did so good! They were exercises of balance, agility and strength. I know I probably wouldn't have been able to do many of them. ;-)






The park had trains that people rode on to get through the park. They also had private trams available for a cost. At one point in our day, I hailed down one of them at the front gate to ask for directions. There were three girls who indicated that we could hitch a ride with them to get to where we needed to go (the boys worked their charm on them). These private trams are pretty expensive, so I was surprised they let us on without charging me. I have no doubt that these three very young ladies were chinese models of some kind. They were all decked out to the hilt with brand name labels, from shoes to purses, all their shoes had six-inch heels, they all wore short shorts with flesh nylon over their legs, their shirts were silks and satins, and their hair and make up was immaculate. But, what really sold me on them being models of some sort were that they posed for pictures among the flowers, trees and statues with an almost pornographic flair. You should have seen the way they posed...together! You can imagine the attention they got...especially from my open mouthed boys! hahaha It was funny. Something even funnier was that the girls wanted pictures with the boys and after a whole day of shying away from people, the boys were only too happy to pose with these girls! I can't tell you how many times all of the young ladies looked at themselves in one mirror or another on our short trip through the park. haha Again...too funny...




It was a long and exhausting, but super fun day! The boys amazed me with how much energy they had! They were like little energizer bunnies...and, in fact, lasted 10 times longer than my camera batteries today...all six sets of batteries! I hadn't brought a stroller with me, so I was extremely lucky that Ryan didn't fizzle out the entire day. He kept up with his big brother, no problem...and that was without a nap! However, not more than 10 minutes on the ride home, both boys were out like lights! Mommy too almost! haha



For mommy, the day had been filled with "zen" moments, even with the kids running around. The air was so fragrant! I can't remember the last time my eyes had been so visually stimulated! The water had been serene...and most of the trails we took had been quiet. I got to teach the boys many things about nature (which I love) and give them lessons in physics (jumping, gravity, balance, etc). It truly was a perfect day with the kids. And so unexpected!



Before we left, I purchased some cut flowers for the house. And when we got home, we noticed 7 caterpillars on our old, dying flowers. So, we put them carefully into a container, where we can watch them grow and eventually turn into butterflies. How cool is that!? The boys were so excited about it! Spring is definitely in the air! :-)

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