International moms

(stock photography)

I have to say...I LOVE spending time with International moms. I'm not sure how many true and ever lasting friendships I'll make while I'm here, but getting together with my International acquaintances has been so fascinating. I keep learning so much! And it never gets boring.

I know I once mentioned that getting to know International moms can be a little tricky sometimes, since we are all so different and come from so many backgrounds. But, the conversations I've had with many moms over here are priceless.

My sister was telling me how she thought, that by the time we left Shanghai, there would be so many things I could tell her I'd miss when we actually do leave. Well, this will be one of them.

It seems that no matter how many times I have lunch with other moms...we eventually get onto the subject of World History, more specifically WW II. What?! Yes, that's right...WW II. Crazy, huh?! I'm the LAST person I ever thought would be sitting in a local cafe, discussing different "angles" of a World War that happened almost 70 years ago...especially with other moms. I mean, c'mon, we have other things in common just by being moms! While I haven't quite figured out WHY the subject always seems to turn to that particular subject, I SUSPECT that it was the last public event that "we" (as in, our countries) have in common. Isn't that wild? There's a psychology or sociology paper in there somewhere, I'm sure! Is it because we are women that we need to find some common ground in which to "bond"? And the last World War is as good of a subject as any? It's just very strange...

Whatever the reason...it's a hoot. I love getting their perspectives on many things. I love hearing their perspectives on how the world sees their culture or people. I love discussing these things about mine as well. I love learning about their culture, their businesses, their way of life back home. I love learning about the educational systems around the world (ah, that's the "mom" part talking). I love learning about different Holidays observed and how they are celebrated. I love hearing about their perspective on the world and culture around them, both back home and in China. I even love observing their daily apparel and accessories...what's important to them and why.

So...WHAT things have I heard so far?? While I couldn't relay entire conversations, I can give you an idea of what I'm talking about...snippets of conversations perhaps.

I had a german friend relay "their" rivalry with the "snobbish" french. She seemed to think that french people are WAY too high on themselves...so much so, that she refused to join a french group of moms while here in Shanghai when she was so desperate to connect with other moms. I learned that some german women think the world has an impression of german women as being brusque and burly...a friend seemed to think it was an impression left by Adolf Hitler and WW II. I hinted that it might be an impression left by the Olympics, when they were reported doing steroids. She was totally mystified by that theory of thought.

I have learned from an Italian friend that Valentine's Day in Italy is celebrated ONLY by couples. I have learned that the Japanese celebrate Valentine's Day between friends. Only younger chinese couples think to celebrate Valentine's Day here in Shanghai. But, there are enough young couples celebrating it that you need to book in advance for some restaurants on that night.

While MANY people already know this, but I hadn't a clue, because I'm not a history buff...Switzerland was a completely neutral country during WW II. Ok, THAT I knew. However, did you know that the Jewish people in Switzerland were not forced to leave that country because of its neutrality? I didn't know that. Many Jewish people flocked to Switzerland during WW II for that reason. I have a friend from Switzerland that said her Grandfather was one of those people. While he never legally obtained a passport from Switzerland during the war...through personal perseverance and drive, he finally obtained one when we was 78 years old. Imagine that.

I've learned that many people all over the world can get passports from different countries by dropping a TON of money in that country's stock options/market. The US even allows it for a cheap $1,000,000 USD. I don't know ALL the details of this, but I DO know that many [very rich] chinese people have passports from all over the world. I didn't know this was even possible...hmmm.

Did you know that Australia is still part of England's government? Wow...I didn't know that. They observe the same Holidays as Great Britain. I also learned that Australians aren't truly fond of the English. I'm not sure if it's vice versa...yet. ;-)

Most recently, I have learned about a specific tradition observed by all chinese women...confinement. When chinese women give birth, they go through one month of confinement. They even hire a "confinement lady" to help with the process of confinement. The reason behind this confinement period is so the mother can restore her health and recover completely. There are very strict rules that the mother adheres to during this period and the confinement lady is there to make sure she follows them. Just a few of the rules are: the mother cannot get wet (meaning no shower or bath) for the entire month. Uh...ew. There is a strict diet that the mother eats/drinks and it is usually cooked by the confinement lady. The mother isn't allowed to hold her child with the exception of feeding times for the entire month following birth. The confinement lady brings her the child and takes the child away after feedings. The mother can't read anything because it strains her eyes. No TV. ETC. I have TWO friends who both did this confinement and paid good money for their confinement lady. Sort of like us paying for a doula back home, I guess. The confinement lady gives the mother massages, cooks her meals, makes her rest, and watches the baby for the entire month. Now, THAT is interesting!

Did you know that Switzerland has three OFFICIAL languages...French, German and Italian? My friend from Switzerland speaks Swiss-German and says that most German people wouldn't be able to understand her. Interesting, huh? Also, I recently learned from Allen (who learned it from...who knows where?)that the US doesn't even have ONE "official" language. English is the most spoken language...but technically, it's not "official".

See what I mean?? Absolutely fascinating stuff!! I LOVE learning these kinds of things, especially from other moms and wives. I WILL miss this when we go back home. As I said before, I'm not sure how many lasting friendships I will make while I'm here. Connecting with women from around the world isn't always easy. The "signals" are always so varied and usually different than what you can expect back home. So, who knows! I'm trying to have fun in the meantime and enjoy the opportunity to learn so much from so many different and wonderful women!