Just in case you wanted to know...

Complements of a [concerned and heavily informed] 'Shanghai Mama'...

Top Fruits And Vegetables To Buy Organic

These are the cut-n-pasted combined "top" lists from two organizations. Funny how they weren't exactly the same produce on each list, but oh well! This is reflective of the U.S. farming but from all I can gather, having spoken with Professors and Environmental activists in China is that the pesticide usage in China closely mirrors the U.S. However, even more concerning, is that there are a range of additional blackmarket (cheaper, "illegal" whatever that means here) synthetic chemical pesticides being used in place of the "regular" pesticides (which you'll see below still have some risks). Green Food Label ensures that only "legal" synthetic pesticides are used. A label such as OFDC from an Organic Certifying agency will ensure that no synthetic pesticides are used whatsoever, AND that the product is not from a Genetically Modified seed source.

Packaged products from the European Union are never GMO as their laws require manufacturers to put the GMO status on the label if it is. The GM foods listed below are not usually a problem in China. China is only now beginning to allow GMO staples such as rice, soybeans andcorn into the food supply intended for humans (though I understand that GMO foods have been grown a while for animal feed.) Some of the crops listed I feel ARE safer in China, such as Pears and possibly Apples, too...for sure the Chinese pears are much hardier,grow very easily wild, and are less fragrant than U.S. Bartlettpears, which require a lot more bug control. This list is not meant to "scare" anyone off of eating fruits andvegetables (the health benefits of eating plenty of fruits and veggiesprobably outweighs the risks of the contaminants) . Rather, this is meant to be a guide to what might be more important to buy Organic if at all possible, and why. By way of exclusion, if something does not appear on these lists, such as Avocados, it is considered a low-risk food no matter how it is grown. Out of this entire list, we are able to get all except Grapes and Bananas organic though not all are available all seasons and somethings like Raisins go out of stock for weeks on end.

And I have to disagree with the Bananas, this is why they do not appear on the first list, I think. Bananas are sprayed heavily but only after they are packed on the ships, not during the growth phase...so washing the outside carefully is adequate, the pesticide does not travel to the interior unless the peel is damaged or migrates on one's hands if left unwashed. ~Liora

List #1
Peaches, Apples, Pears, Winter Squash (gourds, pumpkins), Strawberries, Green Beans, Grapes, Strawberries, Raspberries, Spinach, Potatoes, Tomatoes, Cantaloupe, Bell Peppers, Cherries, Celery, Apricots

WHY to buy only organic of the following:
Peaches: Summer's blushing fruit contains high residues of iprodione,classified as a probable human carcinogen by the EnvironmentalProtection Agency (EPA) and methyl parathion, an endocrine disruptorand organophosphate (OP) insecticide. Methyl parathion has causedmassive kills of bees and birds. According to Consumer Reports, singleservings of peaches "consistently exceeded" EPA's safe daily limit fora 44-pound child.
Apples: Apples may contain methyl parathion. Both fresh apples and baby foodapplesauce can also contain chlorpyrifos, an OP which has caused largebird kills. CORE Values IPM apple growers are trying to phase out OPs.
Pears: Pears, both fresh and in baby food, can also come with methylparathion, as well as the OP azinphos-methyl, which is toxic to freshwater fish, amphibians and bees.
Winter Squash: Dieldrin, a chlorinated, carcinogenic insecticide, exceeded the safedaily limit for a young child in two-thirds of positive samples. Another potent carcinogen, heptachlor, also showed up. DDT and itsbreakdown product, DDE, were detected in baby food squash.
Green Beans: Green Beans can contain acephate, methamidophos and dimethoate (threeneurotoxic OPs), and endosulfan, an endocrine-disruptin g insecticide,which showed up in baby food, too. Acephate disorients migratingbirds, throwing them off course.
Grapes: U.S. grapes contain methyl parathion and methomyl, a carbamateinsecticide listed as an endocrine disruptor; imports may containdimethoate.
Strawberries: The enhanced red color of strawberries comes from the fungicidecaptan, a probable human carcinogen that can irritate skin and eyes,and is highly toxic to fish. While the lethal soil fumigant methylbromide doesn't show up on the fruit, it has harmed California farmworkers, and depletes the ozone layer.
Raspberries: Watch out for more than thorns! These berries can contain captan,iprodione and carbaryl, a suspected endocrine disruptor that has alsobeen found in plum baby food.
Spinach: Permethrin, a possible human carcinogen, and dimethoate dominatespinach's toxicity ratings, but CU notes that residue levels have beendeclining as U.S. farmers reduce use of these insecticides. DDT hasbeen found in spinach, which leads all foods in exceeding safetytolerances.
Potatoes: Pesticide use on potatoes is growing, CU warns. They may containdieldrin and methamidophos, and children eating potatoes risk gettinga very high dose of aldicarb, CU says.

---- -from another site:
Note: In an update to its 1999 report, Consumers Union announced two more foods high in chlorpyrifos or other pesticide residues: tomatoes and cantaloupe.

High-Pesticide Food: Bell peppers
Main Nutrient: Vitamin C
Healthy Alternatives: Green peas, broccoli, romaine, lettuce

High-Pesticide Food: Cherries
Main Nutrient: Vitamin C
Healthy Alternatives: Oranges, blueberries, raspberries, kiwifruit,blackberries, grapefruit

High-Pesticide Food: Mexican cantaloupe
Main Nutrient: Vitamins A and Cand potassium
Healthy Alternatives: U.S. cantaloupe grown from May toDecember, watermelon

High-Pesticide Food: Celery
Main Nutrient: Carotenoids
Healthy Alternatives: Carrots, broccoli, radishes, romaine lettuce

High-Pesticide Food: Apricots
Main Nutrient: Vitamins A an C and potassium
Healthy Alternatives: Nectarines, watermelon, oranges, tangerines

http://www.checnet. org/healthehouse /education/ quicklist- detail.asp? Main_ID=241andhttp://www.care2. com/greenliving/ 242.html

______ _another site I found does not cut and paste well, it depends on the formatting too much to look good but here goes anyway!

http://www.kidsorga nics.com/ 10%20Most% 20Important% 20Foods%20to% 20Eat%20Organic. h\tm

(Listed in order of importance)LIST #217 Most Important Foods to Eat Organic

1. Baby Food. The very young are extraordinarily susceptible topesticides. Here are some organic baby food brands, Earth's Best, Tender Harvest, and Healthy Times, which are available for your baby's safety and health. Or better yet, make your own baby food by cooking and pureeing organic produce. See "Make Your Own Baby Food".
2. Strawberries. Enjoy them while they are in season from local organic farms or buy frozen organic strawberries from your local whole market.
3. Rice. Domestic rice is splattered with mega-doses of pesticides, and now, the chemicals companies are producing "pharm" rice used to produce and store pharmaceuticals. Buy organic rice where you can find it and store it in an airtight container. It stores very well.
4. Green and Red Bell Peppers. Super sources of Vitamin C, but wrought with pesticides. Buy organic, or, better yet, grow your own. Seeds of Change has a plethora of organic seeds, and pepper plants prove to be a hardy bunch!
5. Got Milk? We hope not, at least, not from conventionally raised cows. Today's commercial brands are loaded with antibiotics and growth hormones. Make sure your milk and other dairy is from organically- fed cows without the extra rBST, rBGH and antibiotics. If you are feeding your child goat milk, and/or goat products, be aware that our science community has now genetically mutated a goat to spin silk in her milk. See the New Scientist article.
6. Corn. Corn is typically not a scale tipper when it comes to pesticide residues. But, take into account that 75- 90% of all domestic corn has been genetically- modified, that the average American eats 11 pounds of it, that most cooking oils include corn oil, and that most everything is sweetened with corn syrup, and suddenly, buying organic corn and corn products, makes more than a little sense.Eat local organic corn in season and freeze some for later, or, leavesome kernels to dry, and plant them in the spring.
7. Bananas. This tropical favorite has a short window of ripeness and a very long distance to market (quick, how many local banana farms does your town have?). All of which adds up to a lot of heavy chemical dousing along the way.
8. Green Beans. Over 60 different pesticides are used on greenbeans. Even beans used in baby food have been found to be contaminated.
9. Peaches. Nothing beats a peach. Until you realize that theyoften have the highest rates of illegally-applied pesticides. Isn't that just peachy . . .
10. Apples. A decade after the dangers of Alar were exposed, apples are still soaked in pesticides. Put only organic apples in your pie.
11. Cherries. Cherries, so expensive, so rich, so fabulous, . .. so heavily doused in poison. Make sure that the cherries in your Cherries Jubilee or Bing Cherry Ice Creams are as clean and wonderful as they were meant to be.
12. Celery. Why would anyone think of spraying the heck out of that innocuous little stem vegetable?! But they do. Stay organic, the taste of organic celery will amaze you and make you a celery-nibbler once again.
13. Apricots and Grapes. Apricots, Peaches and Grapes, what would summer be without them? Less toxic! Keep conventionally grown fruits and veggies, and their pesticide residuals, out of your system or minimize them with a vegetable rinse, such as the one by HealthyHarvest.
14. Soybeans. If you are not yet a label-reader, it is time to start. Everything you buy, from bread to cookies to crackers to margarine to dry mixes, has some sort of soy product in it. Most soybean in the USA is genetically- modified. So, why the fuss over modified soy? Monsanto, in an effort to increase the use (and profit potential) of Round-Up Ready, spliced the herbicide into soybean plantDNA. No matter what you or I do, we can never wash RoundUp Ready herbicide off the soybean--ever. It is "permanently imbedded".
15. Potatoes. Mashed potatoes are delicious and worth the calories, unless they're laden with pesticides or have been genetically- modified. When genetically modified, potatoes impair the immune system and shrink the brain, liver and heart. So, mash a clean, real, organic potato and forgo the new-fangled monstrosity. Got soft, green-sprouting organic potatoes? Don't toss them, bury them!
16. Raisins. Concentrated little grapes, concentrated levels of pesticides. Many years ago I heard them called "Poison Pellets" and that has always stuck with me.
17. Cucumbers. Ever wonder why this delicious crisp vegetable was losing its appeal on your palate? Yep! The answer is, once again, pesticides. The answer to pesticides, is, once again, go organic, or grow your own. :)

I guess I'm not the only one concerned about things like this, especially here in China. :) Anyone want to help me buy a farm? It looks like we'll need a lot of land...

USE BLEACH:
I have been told by a couple of people, my mom included, that to solve the veggie/fruit problem as far as icky contaminants, is to fill the sink up with your veggies, etc and lots of water and then add a dab (about 1 tablespoon) of bleach. I'm not sure if it works for the pesticides as well, but it's definitely supposed to be an effective way to get rid of other distasteful and potentially harmful contaminants, ie, feces, bacteria, etc.

Stick with what you know!

What's that expression, "Out of necessity, is born invention."?? Or some such thing! Well, apparently, "Desperation feeds friendship!" haha There is a yahoo groups called "Shanghai Mamas" and I decided to put "it out there" that I'm new here and asked if anyone wants to get together for playgroups or something. I got a little nibble...AND RAN WITH IT!! haha

Today, I met and had coffee with a woman from Ohio (originally from Argentina). She has two beautiful little girls, one 7 months and the other almost 3 years old. I think we both recognized the same "look" in each other's eyes about living here so far..and instantly connected! It was great! There is just something wonderful about meeting up with people who feel, think, and act like you...who have the same level of recognition about certain things and understanding about other things. We have both lived in the States...we just "get it".

It turns out she is as freaked out about the same kinds of things, like meat, veggies, cleanliness,water and typical "standards" we are used to in the States...versus NOT having them here. I happened to witness her oldest daughter having an "episode" not unlike what Brandon did to me the week before (although hers was much milder). Mom (looking familiarly frazzled) ended up mumbling things like, "transition", "difficult", and "needs playmates". MUSIC TO MY EARS!!! hahaha

She is about a week behind me in living here and she just got her cell phone yesterday. Out of ALL the cell phones out there available to buy, she ends up picking out the same exact cell phone I have and ends up choosing the same exact ringtone as mine! She "gets it"! hahaha

We ended up finishing our coffees and walking around the plaza, talking, shopping and having a great time. When we were done, we were hugging like we had been friends forever...both of us soooo relieved by each other's presence! People like to stick to what they know. :) Even her little girls were happy to see a western woman...they responded to me like bees to honey.

Speaking of sticking to what you know...

I arrived home and the ayi had already made my lunch. I was so hungry from my day's activities, I couldn't wait to dig in. She set my plate before me and I definitely had to take a second glance. haha I think I will instruct my ayi to keep making us those wonderful 'western chinese' dishes...to stick to what she knows. In a wonderful and sweet attempt to make me a "western" meal, she made me a sandwich. An egg and banana, with mayo, sandwich. I have never seen that combination before! haha Out of politeness and the fact that she was standing to the side of me...I ate it. :) Hey...not bad...but not something I want to have again. haha It was truly sweet of her...I think she put the banana in it because one day, we were rushed to get the kids some lunch after returning home from running lots of errands. I quickly made them a PB, honey and banana sandwich. She is very observant and watches me like a hawk to see what my preferences are, for everything. So, I will have to keep that in mind from now on. :)

Coffee Bean:
When I went inside Coffee Bean this morning, the girl actually recognized me and rang up a Chai Latte already. hahaha Pretty soon...they will know me by name! :)

Who's laughing NOW!?

Let me give you a few updates!

Car windows:
Several days ago, before last weekend, I had mentioned to you that we had a meeting with our car/driver company, asking them to put tinted windows on the van. They assured us "no problem" and they said it would be done over the weekend. We had an interpreter with us even though the woman from the company spoke decent English. We made sure she knew exactly what we meant. We didn't want shades, we wanted a darker film on the windows. She absolutely assured us she knew what we were talking about and, again, it would be done over the weekend. On Monday morning, the van pulls up with about 20 little square shades all over the windows. Um...not quite what I expected to see. When I called the lady, she explained that the van already had some light tint and the factory people couldn't put two tints on the windows. Uh, yeah, well, duh. So I suggested that they take the first film off and replace it with another, darker film. I mentioned our agreement and that they told us "no problem". Now I'm not really sure what "no problem" means in Chinese, but I'm beginning to suspect it may not mean quite the same thing as in English. So, I ask about possibly getting another van and remind her (again!) the reasons we want darker tint. We had mentioned we want to save money on gas and we want some privacy! The driver drives an hour each way from his house to ours and we are paying for that! And trucks tailgate us all the time and they are within arm's reach of our back seats (their truck noses are flat), and they able to see everything we do! After these explanations, yet AGAIN, we are doubly reassured that she will go back and get a darker tint on the windows. She told me it would be done that night. Ok. So, this morning, the van pulls up with beautiful darker tint on all the passenger (back) windows. Or so I thought. I get in and move to the very back of the van to strap in the kids and LO and BEHOLD the entire [large] back window is not tinted! Am I in the twilight zone? Am I in a strange episode where the people around me intentionally keep doing the same things over and over again to piss me off just to see how long I can keep my "cool"?! Are they taking bets somewhere in their offices?? Aaggh! I have a feeling that the "drawing board" and I will be attached to each other by the time I leave here! Again, it's like doing business honorably...without much honor. UGH!!! After the THIRD go around, I have to defer to Allen to take care of things from now on. I'm so mad and frustrated! I'm an open book and even the driver is staying away from me today. He's [uncharacteristically] hanging out in the garage and outside.

Water:
Ahhhhh... The smell that permeated the room every time we turned on a faucet...is GONE!! Thus, assuring us our water is much cleaner than before! It's so nice to be able to turn on the water without fear of contracting some vile sickness. Using water bottles for everything was so cumbersome and completely inconvenient! However, we still have that LARGE cable running through our kitchen. We are trying to get the landlord's approval to drill a hole either in the wall next the socket or through the countertop just below the socket. However, the lady landlord is in Switzerland right now and won't be back until the end of the summer. Her husband is here, but isn't authorized to make any decisions regarding the house we are living in and he doesn't seem to speak with her very often. UGH!

Refrigerator:
Our refrigerator is still on the fritz and we have no idea when "they" will come and repair the THIRD part that needed to be replaced. First, they came out, worked on it and eventually told us it would take two days to get the part. The same guy came out again, worked on it for over an hour and decided he needed another part. Another guy came out and got it partially working for us and told us it would take a week to get the next part to make the frig work completely. We are still waiting. Nobody will come until the part arrives and nobody seems to know when that will be exactly.

Washing machine:
We were told at the store that we would be getting our washing machine in a couple of days. We got a call verifying the delivery for the next day. Late in the afternoon the next day, we got a call informing us the washer won't arrive until August 1st. As I mentioned before, that is quite a time discrepancy. We will have to see what happens on August 1st.

Our stuff:
We won't be getting our [Tucson] stuff until around August 15th. The specific day is determined by how long our stuff stays in customs which is normally about 2 weeks. But, since the Olympics are in China, it may take a little while longer since they are being very careful about what and who comes in and out of the country right now. I just hope we get all of our stuff. We are living out of suitcases and now I'm not really sure WHAT I told the movers to pack up and bring over here, ie, kid dressers, tables, etc. Oh well...I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I know there was about 1/2 a moving van worth of household items, but I honestly can't remember what they were.

Summer school:
The boys started summer school yesterday. Brandon, as expected, LOVES it! He is so happy to have some friends to play with, even if they are Chinese and he can't understand them. I think it's a little longer of a day for Ryan. But, it's an all or nothing kind of thing...they didn't have half day options for summer school and it's only 3 weeks. Then they have about a two week break and go to their "real" school starting September 1st. The boys are doing all kinds of fun things in summer school, like art, dance, music, language lessons and field trips for Brandon's age.

Well, that's the gist (and updates) as to what's been going on over here so far. I can't believe we haven't even been here for even two weeks yet! It's seems like much more time has gone by already. In fact, the first week over here is like "initiation". After the first week, I feel I can now help other new moms to adjust. Absurd, but true! The first week is everyone's crash course into a different kind of life over here. hahaha

Language

It's interesting how language skills develop. Allen says he notices that he thinks in English first, then Spanish and then struggles with Chinese. So, he finds himself flipping through words in his mind, in that sequence. Allen has been practicing his Spanish through the years since high school.

I, on the other hand, took French in high school which I STILL find completely useless and which, I STILL never use. However, I was exposed to sign language as a young child because our close neighbor and friend used sign language all the time. When I became a mother, I used sign language to communicate with my children at a very early age. My sign language skills are, shall we say, very LIMITED. However, sign language is the second language of choice I find myself using over here. I think in English and I [often] concurrently use sign language to try and communicate with people around me. I do it automatically and without thinking. Once I realized what I was doing, I tried to teach both our ayi and our driver the [limited] sign language I know. It seems to be working. They look in my eyes with a blank stare because they have no idea what I'm saying, but when they look at my hands, I see a glimmer of understanding.

It's funny that both Allen and I seem to be falling back on the only other languages we know. I also remember seeing a group of deaf Chinese people standing on the corner, "talking" the last time we visited. Maybe someone out there can help me out with this next question. Are the hand signals and sign language the same, universally, regardless of verbal language? If I knew more sign language, could I theoretically converse with a Chinese person using sign? Or, like any language, would there be different inflections, slangs, etc? Hmmm...

Which brings me to another topic...handicaps. China is not as evolved with their special needs programs like we are in the States. If anyone is thinking of moving here and they or their children have special needs or handicaps..this is not the place to move. Almost everywhere you go will have stairs, but not an elevator. Many places don't have ramps, etc. Schools do NOT implement special needs programs (as many of the schools already told us). This brings to mind the children here that DO have special needs...where are they? You don't see them on the streets or public areas. Why? Is there somewhere they can go, somewhere in China? How do people here handle that kind of thing?? Having kids, you learn that there are SOOOO many developmental delays and worse, afflictions that can happen in a child's life, especially the younger years. And with as many people and kids that are here in China, one may assume handicaps occur just as much, if not more, than anywhere else. I'm not sure why I don't see more "evidence" of that kind of thing here.

I'm so glad the United States is so advanced in their awareness of handicaps and people with special needs. It can make an already challenged life much easier with programs dedicated to that kind of thing. It makes me sad to think of anyone in that situation here in China, IF they don't have the resources to help those people.

Back to my original comments...I wonder if I will get to a point where I actually THINK in Chinese. I didn't realize I sometimes "think" in sign language because it's a silent language, not a verbal one. But, since I do it automatically sometimes, I must be thinking it as well. What little I now, that is! haha

One thing I do know is that if I want to learn Chinese, I will have to become a much more dedicated student. Like a Chinese student, learning English. This language is HARD and so very different than English. You may get a word that has several meanings just by the tone you use to say it. If I say something in Chinese and I use the wrong "tone", people have no idea what I'm saying. Wish all of us LUCK!! haha :) I already know that Allen is, by far, the better student. While I average learning a word a day (if I'm lucky), Allen is learning entire phrases already! Show-off! haha

Water

Chinese water is unclean. From the airplane, as you approach the coastline that harbors Shanghai (and its' surrounding districts), you will see a ring of discolored water along the shoreline. This, and surrounding areas, is where...I assume...they get their "fresh" fish. I can't imagine eating anything that comes from the waters that border China. They have many cargo ships and other various vessels coming and going all day, everyday, and their regulatory standards are not quite what ours are regarding what should and can be taken from their waters for consumption use. This is why I have instructed the ayi not to get "fresh" fish and only buy imported fish from Norway or some such places like that.

Shanghai rests on very flat land from the coast and has a series of canals and waterways that flow throughout the coastal districts near Shanghai. Water is a sign of "luck" for the Chinese and many of the more planned communities are sure to have water running though them. Lots of mosquitoes, I'm afraid.

I believe I once mentioned that when we arrived to our new home, I noticed that our water had a yellow tinge to it. Yeah...yuck. I have been dedicated to getting cleaner water for our home, since before we left the States. Everything starts with good water...you can cook with it, eat, drink, brush your teeth, wash your face, etc. The tap water here is definitely below American standards. When we mention to a Chinese person that we want purifiers and filters for our home, their typical response is, "We (the Chinese people) have used the water since we were very young and nothing has happened to us." Hmmm...they have a point there. However, their digestive tracts are used to whatever organisms, bacteria and other unknown substances they have in the water here. I don't want to spend our entire time here "acclimating" my digestive tract to the water. The food is battle enough. :)

When I was young and moved to a small town called Lakeport, in northern California, I remember we had a water situation there as well. We lived relatively close to a large lake (Clear Lake) and quite far from town, and I remember that the water was something we definitely had to get used to in our home. I believe they must have pumped water directly from the lake to the houses in our small community. If you lifted the toilet covers (on the back) to look in the tank, I remember seeing green algae and the water coming out of the showers smelled just like the lake. Since I was a kid at the time, I have no idea how my own mother handled the situation and since I swam in the lake every chance I got, I really wasn't too worried about it. I do remember her telling us when we first moved in, not to open our mouths while taking a shower. haha I'm not even sure if she will remember any of this, but as a kid, my sensory antennae were up in order to learn more about my new environment and, again, it's a sensory memory I have imprinted upon my brain. The smell of the lake water through our indoor plumbing and the sight of green algae in our toilet. haha

So, here I am, mother of two...telling my boys not to open their mouths in the shower and advising not to take baths until we have clean water. The Shanghai water smells somewhat musky...like the lake water...and I instantly associate it with my past. However, at least in Lakeport, you could guess WHAT was in the water (since it came from the lake) much more easily than the yellow tinged water I see here.

While in the States, I was absolutely adamant about speaking with a Culligan representative who spoke clear English BEFORE we even came over here. I knew a lot might be lost in translation here in Shanghai, even if it IS an American based water company. We learned a lot which helped ease my mind as to the products we might be seeing over here. Since Allen had already been here looking at water filtration systems, he was able to explain the type of canisters he had been looking at in stores. We learned that the type of canisters (metal ones) that Allen had been looking at, contained what's called a KDF agent. This agent further helps with purifying the water. But, what we couldn't possibly have learned for ourselves over here, was that KDF, while effective in purifying the water, is also a cancer causing agent. Culligan, by law in the States, can't sell products with this agent in it. Imagine us drinking water for 2 years that contained a cancer causing agent??!! However, here in China, they sell these products at almost all the stores we walk into over here. Culligan makes all their product over here and sells to the Chinese as well. It was explained that Culligan looks out for #1, and that would be their label, so they don't sell anything with this agent, here or in the States. However, other local water companies do and apparently, the Chinese people are either uneducated about it or they just don't care. We have noticed that the tags on these canisters have the letters KDF on them, so we know it's being advertised. We just don't HOW it's being advertised (it's all in Chinese). As a wonderful water purifying agent that works really well to get the water clean? Or are they telling people that it's in there, but failing to actually tell them it's cancer causing?

You don't know what you don't know. That's deep, isn't it? haha The point is, what other things are harmful to us that we don't know about?? This is why it's important to keep your ears and eyes open at all times and use your best judgement, especially over here? They do not implement the same regulatory practices over here as we do in the States. Where's the FDA when you need them?? That's why I want only imported fruit. I have no idea what kinds of pesticides they use and if they are regulated. And if they ARE regulated, China is known for "greasing palms" to cut costs. People are paid off all the time for various things! Are the building codes upholded? Are the cows and killing facilities regulated to prevent mad cow disease? Foreigners are told to stay away from chicken facilities because bird flue runs rampant in the waste they throw out. Is it in the eggs as well? Milk isn't processed like the States...they have rBST's in the milk here. Finding organic milk is extremely hard...finding organic milk that is truly organic is near impossible. That's why when I see the coastline from the plane, I make my own deductions as to the quality of their "fresh" fish...founded or not.

A couple of days ago, Culligan came to our house to see if it was even possible to hook up a house filtration system. They said, "ok" and they could do it. Today is Sunday and they were here installing our water system. AFTER they completed the work we ended up with a huge cable coming out from beneath our kitchen sink cabinet and running across our kitchen, to our wall. Apparently, this is the only power source in our kitchen. Since we don't have a garbage disposal, there is no electricity already set up under our sink. I couldn't believe they were just going to leave this cable running through our kitchen! They do this kind of work all the time...why wasn't this variable in the process noticed BEFORE they began the work?! I ended up voicing a complaint to four men standing and staring at me in our kitchen...none of them with a solution and only one of them who spoke very limited English. I want to know why this little problem wasn't brought to my attention when they came out here before OR before they started the work?? Ultimately, they wanted our business and wanted us to think there would be no problem. Well, we DO have a working filtration system now...so, what's my problem, right? UGH!!! We are beginning to see that this is how business is done here...honorably, without much honor. And, yes, this IS a pattern.

I'm just glad both our ayi and our driver have the day off today. They have been witnessing ALL my frustrations this past week, with kids, services and communication issues. Since I can be read like an open book, I'm sure my discontent of late is rather uncomfortable to be around. And believe me when I say I have TRIED to be a good shanghai-nese woman and not show too much of my feelings for all to see. But, I can't seem to help it! Things are SO frustrating and I'm too direct a person to hide my frustration after the third refrigerator visit!! UGH!!!! I get all strung up and I know they can feel it! Thank goodness for small graces...they have today off. :)

Babies

Ok...let's talk about babies for a minute. Some of you may be wondering the differences between how we, as western mothers, do things and how the Chinese mothers, Grandmothers, Aunts, Great-Grandmothers, etc. do things. First, Chinese mothers have LOTS of help! As just stated, the elderly are taken care of by their kids and continue to help out with the grandchildren. Keep in mind, China still upholds the "only one child" rule. So, Great-Grandma has Grandma who has one child who again has one child. There are not a ton of cousins and such, running around. And, again, all children are adored here in China. They love them!

After having mentioned the "one child rule", I would like to also mention that this time around, I have seen many 2's and even a couple of 3's walking around with only one woman or couple. How it was explained to me, is that the Chinese government "penalizes" (and continues to do so) a family if they have more than one child. There are fees and tax penalties, etc. Also, it was explained that the children of a family with more than one child won't be eligible to get into certain schools throughout their childhood, etc. Also, what I'm seeing around town may also be a "friend" taking the kids for the day or someone who is helping out in some capacity. I'm not really sure.

As time goes on, I may find out many more things about how Chinese mothers do things as I may make Chinese friends. But, this is what I have observed so far...

I have mentioned this before, but mothers are often seen on the backs of scooters holding their infants while [usually] a man is driving. Scary...but true. Also, you will see moms riding their bicycles down the street holding their infant on their back by, what looks like, a big strap. Also, they will seat their young "wobblers" in their rear bicycle basket (no belts to strap them in).

Split pants. It is still quite a sight to see infants, wobblers and toddlers in what they call "split-pants". Little baby drawers (in the summer) and pants (in the winter) have a wide open "split" in the crotch area, giving the kids the ability to sit or squat anywhere to go to the bathroom...anywhere. Even the planters in the malls. As a mother of children who needed to be potty trained, I can understand the convenience of this attire. However, it's still quite a shocker witnessing a child going #2 in a planter...or anywhere else for that matter!

When my kids were just babies, I remember it took awhile for each child to get used to a particular type or brand of nipple on the bottles. Well, if we have baby #3 here, a "choice" might be an issue. So, hopefully, any child we may have will be content with one kind of nipple. The variety here is just not the same.

They do have formula, diapers and 'da kine' for babies. I remember being curious about that kind of stuff when I was in the States. However, as I mentioned previously, all the "portions" are smaller here. So, smaller bag of diapers, MUCH smaller tubes of diaper rash cream, etc. You just can't find the gargantuan size bottles and tubes of baby powder, cream, shampoo, etc.

They also have some neat things like, scented fans for babies and toddlers. These fans have ergonomically correct handles for little ones and when they fan themselves with them, you smell the scent of vanilla. Cool stuff like that! :)

Again, I have a lot to learn and discover about how things are done here regarding wee little ones. I look forward to the education. :)

Topic of food

I have been asked a couple of different times...what IS authentic Chinese food like? As I once tried to explain, the Chinese are used to using all parts of an animal for a dish as well as cutting meat into smaller pieces to throw into some rice. They also use fresh vegetables every day and the fresher the meat, the better. That is why they don't use larger refrigerators. They are used to stopping by the market every day or every other day to buy what they need for the next couple of meals. The fresher, the better. They also only try and only make enough for one meal. They don't like leftovers.

However, I'm not at all an expert on authentic Chinese food - yet. This is because of a few different reasons: 1) I haven't been here long enough, 2) I have NO IDEA what the names are to some of the stuff I've seen or have eaten because I don't speak Chinese, and 3) our ayi cooks chinese food, western style, I suspect. What makes me think this? Because I have seen her slip in ketchup once or twice into the mix of food as a seasoning. haha :) It is probably for the kids' benefit.

But, seriously, our ayi cooks some of the best food! She makes us both lunch and dinner. The meals are healthy and so incredibly delicious! She will make things from scratch I haven't seen anyone make from scratch - ever. I have also been asked what guidelines we gave our ayi to prepare to cook for our family. For some, this may be hard to believe, but I'm really not picky about the KIND of food, ie, Chinese, western, Italian, etc., just as long as the meat isn't something I have to pick through. I don't like working through my food. I just want to enjoy it! So, with interpreter in tow, we went to the supermarket. It was explained that I don't want fatty meats and showed some examples. Seafood I definitely want to be imported, like salmon from Norway, etc. NO LOCAL FISH OR SEAFOOD!!! The water here is truly distasteful and a really unusual color and I don't want to eat anything that was swimming around in it. Chicken has to be boneless/skinless, white meat only. Also, I explained I want only imported fruit, ie, apples from New Zealand, all fruit that can be peeled and is local, is ok etc. ETC, ETC, ETC!

Our ayi worked for a UK family for 3 years and she completely understood the differences between our cultures as far as food is concerned. She took everything in stride and ended up showing me examples of food that I would like...which I agreed. So, I feel we are very lucky to have her. I think she makes us Chinese-western style food. If it were truly authentic (as some of the restaurants we have been to would indicate), the meat would be completely unacceptable to me and we would see a lot of the entire animal on our plates. No joke.

Some of the stuff I have seen or eaten and can't name, would be things like an 'empanada' (a big doughy ball with meat inside) or what she made us tonight from scratch...a doughy substance wrapped around meat and seasoning which she fried. YUM-MY!!! She also makes us a lot of soups from scratch and throws together rice and meat dishes. Vegetables are usually on the side by themselves or thrown into the rice or thrown into a soup. The soups are water based. She has only been with us a short time and I know there are many, many dishes we will be benefiting from in the future. Dumplings are very big over here! That usually consists of a thin wrapping around some meat or veggie which you can dip into a sauce. There is also this "flat bread" looking dish which has a little egg and veggie in it sometimes. Of course, they have hot & sour soup and wonton soups, made fresh every day in restaurants.

After spending time in the truly more authentic restaurants near our home, both Allen and I agree we MUCH prefer our Ayi's cooking and we can't wait for dinner! Brandon has been trying to adjust to her cooking because of the increase in fresh vegetables and the [sometimes] foreign seasonings. He has been asking for ketchup a lot lately. :) Ryan, on the other hand, has been relishing the new dishes of food and even asks for seconds! One day, the ayi cooked the kids a separate meal because "ours" was spicy. Ryan wanted ours, hands down, and kept on eating! He actually likes spicy food! The ayi can hardly believe it!

Oh, also..something else that is different in our "eating" cultures. Adults here, feed their kids by hand while the child sits on their lap...all the time. I'm assuming it's because it's pretty hard for kids to learn how to use chopsticks so early. And, no, they don't have "training" chopsticks here like in California! :) So, the ayi likes to feed the boys by hand and I can tell both of them are getting quite used to it. ugh... Portion sizes here are definitely smaller everywhere...at the grocery store, in restaurants, etc.

Service

'Service' can mean different things to different people. Our refrigerator is on the blitz and we had someone come out to look at it. The guy who came out took it apart and we were told he needed to come back tomorrow with the correct part. Since he pulled out the old part, and broke it, he can't put it back in so the frig will at least halfway work. That means we have some chance of having all our food go bad. He ends up coming back the next day, spends over an hour "fixing" it and concludes he needs another part and it will take 2 days to get that part. Ugh! So, all our food will definitely go bad and I give everything to our ayi to take home. So, it's not entirely wasted. Also, we were told our washer would be delivered today (July 24th). We even got a call from the store setting up a time. Today, however, we get a call saying they won't have the machine to us until August 1st. That is a large discrepancy of time in just one night.

We set up some furniture to be delivered from Ikea. They had one company deliver it one day and had another different crew assemble it the next day. So, it took like 4 days to get this process done!

Not speaking the language, I have no idea how to "help" expedite these processes by trying to think of solutions. This isn't the only area where service has been...patched...shall we say. Allen has told me on numerous occasions that it's hard to get things done in a timely manner at work. Why? The Chinese are very efficient people, aren't they? But, they really do move slowly.

If you are in a busy place with lots of people, it takes so long to get anywhere because everyone is walking and moving so slowly! Why?

Check out counters move at a snail's pace. Why?

Service and retail oriented shops take forever to "help" you buy stuff. Why?

I have no idea why it seems everything moves so much slower here, especially since many people have the impression that Chinese people move quickly and efficiently. They don't. Is it job security? Is it too hot to move? Is it bad planning? Is it 'all of the above'? I just don't know...and both Allen and I are finding the adjustment difficult.

BIRTH CONTROL

Ok...it seems moving to China and all that growing by 'leaps and bounds' my kids are doing...well, it's catapulted them into this new phase I call, "DOWN RIGHT ROTTEN." For me AND for them! >:( ANYONE who knows my kids, will not be able to believe what I'm about to say next. My kids just DON'T do these kinds of things! That is, until now, apparently. I have no idea how to handle certain situations with them recently because, while I may have encountered misbehavior in the past...it hasn't been like this.

Allen went out to dinner with some co-workers tonight, so I decided since the kids have been indoors all day, I would take them to a little playplace our local grocery store has in it. It's actually quite a big playplace and it's cheap! So, they go inside all happy and go lucky, excited to be playing with other kids and play equipment. I'm standing on the outside of the netting, watching them and talking to Mr. Chen. We can [theoretically] leave them in there all day, until they close. So, I figured what better way to wear them out before bedtime, right? I even brought a book, thinking we would be there for quite a while.

Anyway, I watch my oldest (4.5 years old) son, move along the equipment and veer off towards the trampoline. There is only one little girl bouncing in there at the time. I watch my son move into the trampoline area and push the little girl so hard, she falls down and slides across the trampoline and smacks her head against one of the poles!!! She looked up and around with the most puzzled expression on her face. Who blames her!? She really was ok, but she still looked completely puzzled as to why she was pushed and why so hard?!

All of us standing on the outside of the netting are shocked and for several seconds nobody responds or says anything. All jaws went slack, including mine! And then, as if in slow motion, all heads turn towards me...because, well, there are only two white boys in there and only one white mother standing around it. And, then, it's as if everything sped up again into normal speed...but, normal speed included vigorous hand gesturing towards my son and very loud complaints - all at once!!

I kicked into motion...kicked off my shoes, put those little nylons on and proceeded into the play area. I walked over to Brandon, told him what he did was unacceptable (and why) and proceeded to pull him out of the play area to sit out for a couple of minutes. Even though I explained why he had to sit it out for a couple of minutes, he then started thrashing, kicking, twisting, screaming at the top of his lungs, crying and lunging away from me. You can only imagine the kind of attention we were starting to attract at this point. I'm used to Brandon understanding that he did something wrong and cry, but he always follows to where I instruct him to go to sit down. I'm certainly NOT used to this kind of resistance. Once we exited the area, tons of people were surrounding us. Only some of them saw what happened and at least partially understood my actions. But others had no idea what happened and must have thought I had beaten him in the play area to make him carry on so much. He was putting up such a fight, some people may have thought I was trying to steal him or something.

After making him sit out for awhile, I again explained what he did wrong and why it was wrong. He was profusely sorry and I told him he could go back in only after he apologized to the little girl. Ryan was still in there and I knew he would put up a big fuss to leave and I didn't want another outburst so close together with the first one. So, Brandon ran back in, looked for the girl and he DID apologize with a hug (she, again, was baffled by his actions). I had followed him in this time and when I looked up, I saw so many people surrounding the netting, watching me...including police officers! I decided it was best to pretend nothing happened and start smiling again. It worked...people eventually dispersed...the officers being the last to do so.

Yes, this is one of those moments you wish the earth would just open up so you could crawl into it and not be seen again. Am I at the bottom of my shame spiral with the kids?? Can I be done now? Or are there more unexpected surprises for me in the near future? I have no idea, but I'm so exhausted by my children's behavior! Again, I feel like I have been catapulted into this phase and I'm completely unprepared for it.

Night out :)

I had a wonderful evening! I went out cell phone shopping with our driver, Mr. Chen and one of Allen's co-workers, Owen. Owen speaks pretty good English and Mr. Chen can speak English a little bit. Owen guided us to one of the more "local" shopping centers near by, where there are lots of cell phone stores...every other one practically. Allen opted to stay home with the kids since he's tired of shopping and figured the kids could use a night indoors. He sent Owen with me because Owen is one of the engineers at his work and could probably help me find a phone with the functions I wanted. Many Chinese people of have been more than willing to help us by volunteering their night and weekend hours. We have appreciated all their efforts IMMENSELY!!

First, it was nice to have a night off from the kids. I love them dearly, but they are acting up so much lately that I feel like I need a break! Second, it was good to get to know another one of Allen's Chinese co-workers, other than May. Third, it was really good to be shopping for an item that is becoming an increasing necessity. I mean it...everyone uses cell phones for [what seems like] everything! I have never seen so many people using cell phones like this. If I have a question, someone whips out their cell phone. If they are having technical difficulties with a product, they whip out their cell phone. If they don't know where to go, they whip out a cell phone. What are these cell phones doing that I don't know about??!

When I mentioned it becoming an increasing necessity, I really meant it. I found a cell phone that will allow me to download Chinese characters so I can give our driver and any taxi an address to favorite destinations around town. It will let me check my email. It is MP3 and MP4 compatible. People use them so much here...everyone is carrying around a cell phone.

Since I had two confidant guides through the area, I was able to truly look around for the first time since arriving here this time. One of the reasons I like the area where we live, is that there are some expats, but you really can immerse yourself in true Chinese culture as well. I love looking around and discovering things I have never seen before. Everything is so different.

While walking in and out of the stores and through the shopping plaza, we were surrounded by Chinese people, wanting to see what I was doing. Some of these people truly and honestly looked at me as if they have never seen a western woman before...it was an interesting experience. When we walked into a store, people would rush in and surround us to see what I, as a western woman, could be interested in buying. They just stood around us and watched me pick out cell phones to look at in the store. They stood around and watched my guides talk to the counter people with my questions and requests. I can't even imagine what people would do in these more local markets if we had the kids with us. We would probably be swarmed and wouldn't be able to walk in any one direction with the sheer number of people who would be interested in the kids. Chinese people are always asking my "guides" why I'm hanging out with them (my guides). These people tonight, were blatantly curious, judging by their expressions as we walked down the street.

I can't say this enough...I love walking down these local streets and seeing all the very local activity. Chinese 'fast food' consists of all types of vendors on the streets, cooking and selling their food from their hot skillet or skewers. There are all kinds of food you can buy. There are also mini [fresh] veggie markets and lots of little spaces where people are selling their items. Unfortunately, you also see many animals being sold...for who knows what!? There are a TON of people walking up and down these streets in addition to all the vendors. There are clothing vendors as well and many others. The smell is a mixture of all the food being cooked as well as a heady musky odor of...many people in the heat.

Anyway, it was a great activity and I'm so incredibly grateful for my guides' help! We laughed a lot and had a good time. :)

Party at our house!

It appears I might be having a house party every day. :) Since it is sooo hot here, poor Mr. Chen needs somewhere cool to stay while he waits to drive us somewhere. I have been trying to think how to politely suggest other places to hang out so he can just be here when I call him. But, I'm not sure of how to suggest it or where to suggest he should go. We were told, that usually in car/driver situations, the driver hangs out at the "man's" work. Don't get me wrong...he is proving to be a very nice gentleman and helpful in many ways...but would you want a man who is not a family member hanging out at your house all day?? How can I tell him to leave when it's too hot to hang out in the car?? NOW, we have us, Mr. Chen and now Ms. Zuo hanging out together every day. I like our ayi. She is quiet and does her job very well. She is attentive to my needs and mindful of the kids' needs. But, needless to say, we have expanded to a party of 5 in pretty close quarters - and suddenly. So, I guess I better like these two then, huh?! ;)

Just a note about having an Ayi...THEY ARE WONDERFUL!!! I will SOOOOOO miss this when we leave!! It's only been a very short time with our Ayi, but a person can quickly get used to the idea of someone always there to do pretty much everything for you.

Mr. Chen likes to have discussions, even though the language barrier is there. You can imagine the animation behind these "discussions". Just today, I found out many really neat things about him. He is truly a nice man and I look forward to developing a good working relationship with him. Although, I have to say, I'm mentally drained after our discussions. haha Physcially too since there is a lot of gesturing involved. :)

Food for thought...
I've been thinking that if I don't make any expat or Chinese [girl]friends over here...Mr. Chen and Ms. Zuo might be my very best friends in a couple of years. hahahaha We are going to be together, every day, for a very long time. hahaha

Baring the truth

Breasts. If you are a westerner and have them (you know what I mean by this), this may be one of the few places you may feel a little subconscious about having large ones. Sad, but true. In the States, we are used to women finding new and better ways to lift and enlarge. But, before you pack your suitcase with all your favorite snazzy 'lift and bare all' bras, keep in mind that Chinese women go to great lengths to conceal extra skin. A cute and fashionable top in the States could very well want to send you running to your suitcase to find a more suitable bra and top over here. Women here will where a short sleeve shirt underneath a tank top more often than not. And remember...the whiter, the better, over here. Less skin shown is less skin exposed to the sun. Although, I have seen LOTS of people out walking and wearing short shorts and tank tops...after dark.

So, why do I bring this up, you ask?? I found myself in an awkward position this morning. I wasn't sure what I'd be doing today, so I put on a tank top I found in the bottom of my suitcase. I have been wearing many of my shirts over and over again as well as my bras because, well, we don't have a washing machine yet and GOD FORBID I wash anything by hand. ;) It's hot as blazes here and I'm pretty sure the stuff I have been wearing could stand up on their own and walk out the door. So, I figured I would be home most of the day anyway and decided on a "cute" top with, yes you guessed it, a 'lift and bare all' bra. I start my morning house activities and get a phone call that the ayi company has found a lady for me to interview and "they" will be at my house within 5 minutes. FIVE MINUTES!? Uh, ok. So, I completely forget about what I was wearing and race about the house trying to put SOME semblance of order to it (we have been living out of suitcases, bags, etc). I, at least, need somewhere they can sit down to talk. Sure enough, "everyone" is here in 5 minutes, including our driver, Mr. Chen, the new ayi and two company men. While everyone is getting seated and I'm bent on making a good first impression, I bend over to pick up a toy and realized...I'm literally baring ALL. UGH! I stood up and noticed...they did too. SOME first impression! haha Needless to say, I tried to keep something in front of me throughout the entire meeting...first my notebook...then Ryan's blanket...then a lot of hand gestures. Ack! After they left, you can probably guess what I was doing?! Running for my suitcase! haha

Also, on another note...

Again, just an FYI... While we were in the Hong Kong airport, one of the wonderful things about being there is that you can use US Dollars to pay for stuff in the stores. However, they will give your change back in Hong Kong dollars. I mistakenly had a Hong Kong bill and tried to use it the other day (must have gotten in there with the other Chinese currency I have). I was quickly told by one, then two, then three and then several Chinese people in a very animated way that I could NOT use such a bill! With as many Chinese people that were called to address this 'situation', they probably thought I was trying to steal the merchandise I was trying to pay them for. Anyway...apparently, Hong Kong dollars are like Disney dollars. You can use them in the wonderful city and district of Hong Kong, where the people you see are more like you and you can pay with your home currency...but DON'T TRY to use the Disney dollars outside the park!!!!

Day of mixed success...

I'm sure many expat women out there, especially stay-at-home moms, dread the first day their husbands leave them alone to go to work. Allen had been here for a few weeks getting the "lay of the land" before the kids and I even came over here. Thus, the "newbie" factor was a little softened by the fact that my husband knew a thing or two. He has been especially helpful in getting us to where we needed to go, DESPITE our wayward driver. ;) However, today is Monday and this is the first day he went back to work. I was a little nervous, but one thing I'm not...is afraid. So, with a "come what may" attitude, I planned out our day and forged ahead with kids in tow. I was met with mixed success for my efforts.

:( I found out that our [previous] hostess, with whom I hold a special fondness, will be leaving us as an expat herself NEXT MONTH!! She will be joining her expat husband in Canada. :( I'm sad she will be leaving us for several reasons. She lives only 2-3 doors down from us and I was hoping to continue our budding friendship over the next couple of years. Also, she is our lifeline in any situation regarding communication in Chinese. She has willingly helped us through many situations already and on Day #5, her impending departure makes me more than nervous. And aside from that, I will miss her and her adorable daughter (who is my youngest son's age). I had envisioned many future playdates and Brandon thinks she is his new best friend. :( However, I'm also very happy for her and her future opportunities. :) I wish her every success, as she deserves it ten times over! :)

:) I visited an ayi company (an ayi is a housecleaner, nanny and [often] cook all rolled into one) and was very pleased with my visit. I'm positive things will work out on that front. The company assured me that with hiring an ayi through them, they provide extra service(s), such as being able to call them for any referrals as to where to go for any type of service. If I have to call a taxi, they are happy to do it for me (try explaining how to get to your house to pick you up when nobody speaks english), if I need a vet, they will find a good one for me, etc. I look forward to meeting our new ayi in a few days.

:) I signed the kids up for a summer school program. It begins next Monday and will run for 3 weeks. I KNOW they will both enjoy a little kid time...as well as art, dance, language and music time. They will have field trips for Brandon to enjoy. :) Getting the kids on some sort of routine will be very, very good for them. They are desperately seeking their boundaries with us because they haven't had them through two months of "transition". They are frustrated a lot, and in turn, act out a lot lately...which makes me exhausted and frustrated as well.

:( Me, the boys and Mr. Chen all had lunch together today at a local chinese food place. I wasn't sure how this little excursion was going to turn out, so I felt compelled to wolf down my own food, in hopes to try and stop any "mishaps" on the boys' part. Mr. Chen washed his hands and joined us a few minutes after we started. Things seemed to be going well (despite that the food and milk tasted "funny" according to the kids) and then it happened. Ryan decided he didn't want his funny tasting milk (soymilk) anymore and pushed his cup right over...onto Mr. Chen's lap. Just like that...and quickly! I didn't realize the little restaurant had so many employees until he spilled the milk and they all came out of the woodwork and quickly and efficiently cleaned everything up. I have to give Mr. Chen credit...he moved pretty darn fast and luckily got only some of it on him instead of all of it! My response to the situation was to...laugh. I couldn't help it. The Chinese people look so worried and concerned when my boys do anything, like cry in public or scream or screech or make loud noises or sing or dance. Chinese kids just do those things in public, I guess. And here my boys come in and make a huge mess, disrupting everything. Especially since Ryan did it intentionally. I felt like I was on that credit card commercial where everything is running really smooth and efficiently until someone tries to pay cash...and then everything stops while the person takes extra time to get the cash and pay for the product. I just want to yell, "Yes, I'm one of THOSE parents now...who doesn't seem to be able to control her children!" Ugh... And if that wasn't bad enough, Mr. Chen was being very helpful while I had some grocery shopping to do and he was pushing the cart for me, when...Ryan bent over and bit him!! Mr. Chen looked horrified and I looked mortified! I was like, "What?? You have GOT to be kidding Ryan!" Ryan is not a biter - UNTIL NOW. Granted, he bit him very softly, but in this society...kids just don't do stuff like that! UGH! My kids are sending me down a shame spiral, which is motivating me to work all that much harder to once again set their boundaries more clearly! Brandon too. He is throwing fits in public and crying in public when things don't go his way. You should see the looks that gets us! UGH! UGH!

:) I went shopping and bought some major "essentials" such as a microwave, washing machine, a hair blow dryer and a rice cooker. Ahhh. Now I'm starting to feel like things are coming together for the house. We have a long list of stuff to get - eventually, but some things are really necessary sooner rather than later.

:) I had to run into the bank where Allen has already set up an account. While I was waiting for the teller to do a transaction, I [apparently] made a friend. :) I had started talking to a Chinese girl/lady and she ended up inviting me to go chat and have tea or something. We exchanged numbers. :) THAT was a nice surprise!

:) We ended the day with a meeting with the car company we hired. It turns out that all we had to do was ask for 1) tinted windows and 2) a GPS unit. They said they will have both for us by next week. Wow...wasn't expecting that. haha That was easy. We also addressed and cleared up a couple of other things as well. So, the meeting went pretty well.

I guess you could say my first day of survival for me and the kids went ok. We weathered it pretty well and I'm sure each day will get a little easier.

No Mayo

No mayo. Where am I going to find mayonnaise? Our local grocery store doesn't have anything like it. As much as I want the kids to be healthy in their eating habits...mustard 'only' on their ham and cheese sandwiches just won't do. They will be the first ones to tell you that. :)

We happen to live within a minute of the British Int'l School and about 3 minutes away from an American Int'l School. So, it really shouldn't have surprised me to find a [tiny] western food grocery store tucked away in the strip malls in the near vicinity of our house. When I say it was tiny, it was TINY...about the size of my family room back home. But, let me tell you...it was a slice of HEAVEN to me!!!! :) All the basic essentials were in that tiny room. It was as if they knew what basic ingredients I, personally, like to cook with back home. Could all westerners, Europeans too, cook with basically the same things? Could this be true? Are they trying to cater to all the western foreigners in the area...or just Americans? Back home, I was used to seeing LARGE Asian grocery stores. I also used to see Mexican grocery stores, closer to home. So, I guess this shouldn't have been a surprise to me. I'm just not a world traveller and have no such knowledge of these kinds of things.

So, many people may want to know WHAT, exactly, am I able to find to feed my children...seeing as they can be such picky eaters and all. Well, so far, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cheese sticks, and imported fruit are the staples. They, of course, have plenty of snacks to choose from and are not very picky about those. ;) I'm trying desperately to set up the kitchen with clean water, dishes, food, etc., so I will feel comfortable enough to cook. But, unfortunately, it all starts with the water and we are still about a week away from getting that accomplished. So, that leaves us having to either eat the same things all day, everyday, or try and find places we can eat. Finding places to eat out can be tricky with the kids. Especially on days like today. Our driver (with his car), has a couple of days off per week. When we get settled in a bit with a routine going, this probably won't be a problem. However, these first few weeks might be tricky without a car, even if it is for a couple days a week. In fact, adjusting from having a car everyday to not having one even sometimes...with kids...is really hard. It will require a bit more planning. But, anyway, I digress. Sandwiches, cheese and fruit...for the kids...so far. Now that I have found more western food, I can start with what I know and eventually transition to the other, bigger, more local grocery store for some more authentic variety.

Today is Sunday. The boys' beds and the dining room table were delivered today. Good thing too. The boys have been eating off the floor...and making a mess. Tomorrow, I will be looking into hiring an Ayi. I'm looking forward to that...for more reasons than one.

What's so funny?

I'm sure the Chinese people I encounter have NO IDEA what to make of me. I probably make them nervous. For some odd reason, everything is funny. So...I'm usually smiling or laughing or chuckling or giggling.

I find myself stuck in an elevator with four sour faced men, all of whom are looking intently at me...so I smile...and then chuckle. They are so serious, it's funny!

Some of the words coming out of people's mouth sound like other things in English...and it's funny!

My own inability to pronunciate the few words of Chinese I know...is funny! The expressions on people's faces when I try...is funny!

Their efforts in speaking English and my inability to understand a word they say...is funny!

The things I see are often...funny! Everything is so different! Signs don't make sense in English. The images I see everyday are funny to me. I have questions, but nobody to answer them...so it's funny! Some of things I see are very peculiar and it's funny!

The stares I get when Mr. Chen and I are walking anywhere together are funny! Usually because the stares are so entirely blatant!

The fact that I can't help myself from smiling and the obvious disapproval I get from people around me...makes me smile.

Most of the time I keep thinking of my friends who I wish could be here to see the same things...what a field day we would have! Not because we would be making fun of anything, but because they, too, would find humor in the same things I do...and we would end up laughing until we cried because that's who we are and that's what we do.

I miss you friends!

Blue too!

Our dog, Blue, arrived today!! :) Yah!

The first couple of days here, I noticed (for the first time) 2 different Chinese people out walking their Chows. Whew! I also saw a Japanese man walking a husky. I think Blue will be just fine here and we are so glad to have him back. We missed him! Ryan kept hugging Blue all night long...he has an extra special relationship with Blue.

Blue actually looks pissed off at us. I think we will be needing to give him lots of extra special treats and attention to get him to forgive us. He also looks pretty beat. He took the longest #1 I have ever seen him do when he got here, followed immediately by two separate #2's. I'm a little uncertain on his care after leaving Hong Kong. :( He has been sleeping a lot since arriving. He actually looks like he's trying to "recover" from the ordeal. It's to be expected, we didn't think this would be easy on him. But, it's still hard to witness for our beloved pet.

We love him soooo much!

First few days

The first few days of somewhere new, there is always some first impressions...

The bugs are different here. If you really look at the bugs on the windows, in the house, on the car, on the ground, etc, you'll notice they are mostly small. But the bugs in the trees sound BIG...and there are thousands of them! Next to our house, there are many very tall tress lining a canal and there is the unmistakable sound of cicadas - THOUSANDS of them. It is very hot here and they are buzzing like crazy! Then, they will quiet down and something must fly through there to stir them all up again, and the sound is quite loud. Now, if you walk to our local grocery store, there are trees lining the street the whole way as it is a planned community. But, these trees next to the road are your more typical and moderately tall trees. The bugs in those sound different. You can still hear cicadas, but you can also hear other bugs that sound even bigger and louder than the cicadas. I have yet to see a really big bug closer to the ground though. I'm sure if I walk through one of the many crops in the outlying areas, I would find a few. :)

The kids are definitely absorbing all the new sights and sounds. They look enthralled as they look out the window of the car. We saw at least two frogs tonight and it was interesting to see them notice the difference in the size of the frogs here versus frogs back home. They really like looking at the frogs. :) And they MUST be growing by leaps and bounds, because just today BOTH boys' shirts and shoes were too small for them! We had to run out an buy new shoes for both of them! Their shoes fit fine yesterday. Isn't it amazing how quickly they can grow?

Speaking of kids...

Kids here hold a certain celebrity-ism. Chinese people absolutely adore children! They especially love foreign kids. They stop and stand around the kids for as long as you let them. They want to touch and hold your children. In fact, this is one of the few times I see so many Chinese people at one time, smile for so long. It is a little disconcerting. And even though the focus is on the kids, they are always looking at us as well. I thought I could get away with putting on little or no make-up while I was here since, heck, I don't know anyone. But, I'm not so sure. haha If people are going to be constantly looking at me by association with my kids, then I may feel the pressure to look my best. For most of you who know me well, you know how I hate that! hahaha

Brandon immediately attached himself to May (our previous hostess) and wants to know if she can live with us. Brandon calls her May-May. Ryan, however, managed to give a [hard] stare down to a chinese boy about his age and made the boy cry. He even put a forward lean into it for extra imtimidation. I swear, if he had been wearing his cowboy hat, he would have been living up to his very "American" image.

I noticed the water in our house has a yellow tinge to it, so we are making a visit to Culligan a top priority.

A few things I wish I had thought of to pack or get before I left (I can't believe I didn't think of everything!): Large (standard) trash can liners, a translator (with english written on it), a GPS unit, my personal preference of brand name tampons, an iPod waterproof case, an iPod arm band (you do a LOT of walking here), a memory foam mattress pad, and I'm sure there is going to be a LOT more things I will come across very soon.

Everything here is smaller. Smaller trash bags for smaller trash cans. Smaller portions at restaurants. Smaller shopping carts, smaller cars, smaller people, the countertops are lower, smaller paper towel rolls, etc. We went to Ikea and got a bite to eat with a drink. The drinks were 8 oz - no refills. Excuse me? I'm American...where is your 32 oz-ers? haha I could hardly believe it...8 oz!

Don't expect anything to be ice cold. You have to ask for ice all the time. The soda machine at Ikea didn't even offer ice! The refrigerators in stores everywhere offer you a semi-cold soda pop. Definitely something I'm going to have to get used to here.

China is a "green" country. Be prepared to bring your own bags to the grocery stores to hold your stuff at checkout. Paper plates, bowls, etc are somewhat difficult to find.

This is definitely the place to buy a rice cooker. They have the BMW's of rice cookers here.

Don't expect to find clothes dryers. We have only found ONE stand alone clothes dryer and it is about $1300 by itself! Needless to say, we are researching other options at this time.

Food for thought...

Remember when soda cans used to have those pull tabs? Well, also try and remember that when they did have pull tabs, the soda cans fit your mouth differently. Imagine this. There must be engineers out there somewhere designing soda can tops to fit your mouth better. Because, if you'll notice, that today's modern pop up tab has a different feel that inevitably feels better because you don't stand around thinking about it. That is, until you again have older versions of soda pop cans and go, "Hmmm. This doesn't fit my mouth as well and, thus, I'm not enjoying it as much." Expect to find this kind of thing here. Granted, I have no idea if other parts of the world are also experiencing older styles of soda pop tops. My own experience is limited. Really. :)

These are just a few of the thoughts, impressions and observations I have had in the first few days of living in Shanghai. It's all about perspective, isn't it? I will be curious to know what I will have to say in a couple of years here. Only 24 MONTHS for my friends out there...23 1/2, really. ;)

Driving Ms. K**

When I spoke about a car and driver to my friends and family back home, I got quite an "ohhh" response. This is when I immediately had to explain that a) it's necessary here in Shanghai due to the crazy driving and b) the fact that there are no seat belt laws for children and thus, we need our "own" vehicle to transport our children with their attached car seats.

The driver was to meet us at the airport. He was late and we soon discovered he had no idea where he parked the car. Hmmm. Ok, so we finally find the van and it is a locally made minivan (Asian brand). Now, somewhere along the way, I had the impression that the windows would be tinted to preserve a little privacy for the "customer". I was wrong. Okaayyy... Upon closer inspection, I realize that this vehicle is owned [probably] by the driver as there is personal stickers on the windows, faded seat covers, a Chinese dangly thingy hanging from the rear view mirror, personal items in the rear of the van, etc. *ahem* Not really what I was thinking myself when I thought about a car/driver situation. I admit, I had visions of something of a uniform for the driver, the vehicle in immaculate condition, tinted windows, etc. Ok...we're not in Kansas anymore! There would obviously have to be a few adjustments for the few expectations I had regarding a car/driver. Ok! Let me "absorb" this while we get rolling!

So, we go to our new home and settle in for a bit after our long journey. The next thing on our agenda is to get a bite to eat and head back home. On our first trip, we were used to handing a taxi driver a taxi card with the address of where we wanted to go that day. So, we hand our driver the address (in chinese characters) of the place to go for dinner. It took us an hour and a half to go less than 10 miles! The driver kept hopping out to ask other cars for directions while cars behind us were honking their horns incessantly. Not really what I had in mind when we hired a driver to keep us safer in the vehicle. Hmmmm. So, we eat and we indicate that we want to go home. The driver understands almost no english, but he does understand "home". On the way back, he is as lost as the first time, doing the same kinds of things to get directions. Needless to say, the first evening we were here was very tiring.

So, this is the deal here in Shanghai. When you hire a car/driver...usually the driver comes with the car you pick. Choose wisely.

As for our car and driver? Our driver's name is Mr. Chen. After some initial doubts, he has proven to be very helpful in other ways as well as getting us to where we need to go - eventually. Like all relationships, it might take some time for us to get to know one another. He is very good with the kids and helps out at the store to keep them busy. He is eager to learn English and helps us learn Chinese (and Japanese too). I'm confidant that by the end of our time here, he will be very familiar with all my favorite haunts and know exactly where to go by name. I'm also confidant that both our language skills will improve. :) The van is actually kind of cool. He keeps it pretty clean on both the outside and the inside. By request, we got a van that seats 7 passengers so when we have guests in town, our guests will benefit. The middle seats swivel around so most of the passengers can talk to each other face-to-face. I think we'll keep both around for awhile. :)

Making 'scents' of it all!

Having two small children, I have had the opportunity to see the world through their eyes. Also, I have had the opportunity to re-discover the world through their other four senses as well. It's wonderful. You forget how much of your own existence is dictated by the sensory perception of your youth.

The first eight years of my life were spent in San Diego. We lived near the cliffs and terraces and canyons bordering the ocean. Having moved from the area at such a young age, I had no way of knowing how much I could remember as an adult just by using my sense of smell. I was driving with a friend on a leisure trip one time as an adult, when we drove along the 52 through some of the canyons on our way to La Jolla. The air coming through the vents sent me flashing back in time as a series of images I didn't think I had came rushing back to me...all of them from my childhood in San Diego. It was powerful. The air was a mixture of ocean breezes clinging to the damp moisture from the dew strewn vegetation of the canyons. My emotions zipped through me, weaving a mental tapestry of childhood feelings and images.

However, not many of these moments have occur ed in my life as my sense of smell is, let's say, not my most powerful sense. I could be burning the water out of a pot on the stove and not know it until the metal melted. So, it came as a surprise when I got off the plane and jet way in Hong Kong and immediately felt compelled to stop...and...take a deep breath of air. I'm not sure what struck me first...the air felt different and/or the air smelled different. Both, I imagine. But, I immediately thought, "This doesn't smell like home."

After all the times I have passed through LAX or my local airport, I never once stopped to consider how much even the airports can feel like home. Hong Kong smelled different. It smelled foreign. There were undercurrents of rice and stuff like saimin and other "foreign" foods. Even though the airport was completely void of people at 6 am, you could still smell the activity of a busier yesterday. So, imagine that...my somewhat useless nose was the first sensory impression I had when arriving in Hong Kong.

Since arriving in Shanghai, it seems the input of my surroundings is less of a mental change in atmosphere and more of a sensory one, which again reminds me how much we rely on our five senses to learn. Shanghai offers different sounds, sights, smells, tastes, etc. It's a sensory feast and I can't wait to see what I learn from it. I know my kids have GOT to be growing by leaps and bounds from being here even such a short time. It'll be fun to watch them grow in new ways as well! :)

Airlines

Oohhhh, what a difference...an airline can make when traveling! I can't believe the difference between our first trip over here and this second time. I also can't tell you how much anxiety I was feeling making a 15-hour airplane trip with two small children under the age of five years old...with a two hour layover AND another two hour domestic flight. Needless to say, I packed us with enough carry-ons to take us around the world - TWICE! This, in itself, was difficult because we had 7-8 carry-ons, four of us, two car seats...and a partridge in a pear tree. BUT, I have to say in my own defense, the reason behind so many "essentials" was due to the fact that the first airline we took was little more than a cattle coach, in the truest sense of that term. So, this time, I prepared us for all worst case scenarios.

Anyway, this time we flew over here with an airline that seems dedicated to setting the bar pretty high, even in the economy class. Ahhhh... Everything that we needed, ended up being provided for us by the airline with EXTRAS! This included in-flight entertainment centers with kids' shows, movies and games, snacks, food and beverages galore, pairs of socks, kid size headphones, pillows and blankets, in-flight sleeping cribs for babies, extension seat belts for younger kids, and a Disney activity pack for each child that came with coloring books, colored pencils, magnets and more! Again, ahhhhh.

Airfare per person - $1,000
Sippy cups for the plane - $4.00
Everything else taken care of, including peace of mind for a 15-hour flight with kids - PRICELESS :)

The flight took off about midnight, the boys slept their usual hours, they watched TV shows and movies, colored, etc, walked up and down the aisles a bit and then we were done! Whew! This was way less painful then the last time...a very nice surprise.

Now, I don't know if the wonderful airline and it's service had anything to do with this next statement, but Hong Kong airport was really nice! :) I think it should be rated one of the best airports - somewhere. haha No, really. I think I would like Hong Kong if I had an opportunity to visit more than the airport. The airport was big and clean and there are mountains when you look outside the windows and ocean on the other side.

Hong Kong reminded me a lot of Hawaii on first impressions...the green mountains right next to the ocean, the humidity and they had little round volcanic balls in all of their planters, indicating volcanic activity somewhere in the vicinity...or at least somewhere in China. The little round balls were pretty cool. They had the black porous basalt on the inside of them and rust colored weathering patterns of the outside of them. They came in different sizes, although they were all small and round. What a great idea for the planters! But, I digress...

The mountains outside the windows and the little volcanic balls held a mystique for me that Shanghai, unfortunately, has not done for me so far. It did get me excited to possibly explore China more than I had originally planned to do. After all, it IS quite a big country. Shanghai is very flat, with a lot of farming soil and water instead of rocks and mountains.

One more note about Hong Kong. While living in Hawaii, I worked extensively on all the islands that tourists often visited. I used to tell my friends and family that, as mainlanders, they would probably feel most comfortable in Maui. It has a very nice island feel to it, BUT it's also covered with white mainlanders. It can't be helped...people often feel most comfortable when there is other people who talk, look and act like them. Sure enough, I always felt so comfortable on the Kona side of the Big Island and Maui for those very reasons...and it's been proven that my friends and family do too. :) Hong Kong, being English for so long, had lots of Brits and Americans in the airport, as well as Australians and New Zealanders, etc. Ahhh. I can't help it! When your half a world away from home, it's just nice to be around others who talk, look and act similar to you. So, if you are of European or American origin and are considering transferring to Asia...you might want to keep this in mind. Not to be necessarily swayed by it...but definitely something to think about. :)