Uh-oh.

Recently, we have acquired very large pieces of white paper that my kids LOVE to draw pictures on, because they can draw on it together without encroaching on each other's pictures. Last night, we all sat down to draw on it together. I marked out a little bit of space for myself and proceeded to draw the ONLY thing I have ever drawn in my whole life...a landscape of mountains, trees, flowers, grass and I included water with a boat and a log cabin.

When I say that I'm a horrible artist...it is an understatement to the nth degree. The picture I described above is what I have been drawing since I was a little girl and the actual drawing is extremely rudimentary.

As I sat, drawing away, I didn't realize that my boys were watching me very closely. When I looked up, I was amazed that Brandon had almost duplicated my own pictures. The trees, the sun, the grass, the mountains, etc., were exactly the same as mine, drawn by a 5 year old's hand. First, I was completely amazed at his ability to copy what I drew almost exactly. Second, I thought..."uh-oh."

Where's Auntie when you need her??? My sister is BY FAR a better artist than I am and it was HER that I tried copying when I was little. But, that never really worked out and I just continued to draw very badly while she graduated with a Fine Arts degree in college. So, WHERE'S AUNTIE!? Aagghhhh!

My boys are emulating ME in the drawing arena..."uh-oh" doesn't even begin to describe it. haha This is one of the FEW areas I DON'T want my kids to "do as I do". This is the funny and ironic part. Because my own drawing hand is stuck somewhere in my own 4-5 years old memory bank, my 5 year old could VERY EASILY duplicate what I did. You should have seen it...I was truly amazed...and then embarrassed as I realized WHY he could copy it so effectively. hahaha


(Brandon, Age 5)

But, Brandon IS truly amazing. He not only copied the picture that I made...he added a rainbow to the entire scene as well as office buildings, houses AND fireworks. I've said this before, I think living here in Shanghai has really opened a doorway for him as far as stirring his creative and architectural juices. Definitely a benefit to moving here. He even makes 3-D models of entire cities with his Legos...something he never did before we moved here.

Ryan enjoyed seeing Mommy's picture. He was my enraptured audience as he kept "ooo-ing and ahhh-ing". He especially liked my [very] geometrical boat with the happy face on the flag. haha He's so cute. ;-)

Soon, Daddy came in and drew very good figures of soccer players WITH soccer balls included. The boys picked which figure they best represented and soon drifted off to find a soccer ball. Whew. At least they didn't focus on my drawing for too long. But, it's activities like this one that I miss their Auntie very much.

Shame on you...

It appears that there is someone here in Shanghai that has been causing trouble for a good friend of mine. Shame on you.

If you are reading my blogs and want to relay specific information to someone I care about...be sure to give them ACCURATE information.

There should be PLENTY of drama you can muster up in your life without involving me or someone I care about. Shame. On. You.

You know who you are.

International moms

(stock photography)

I have to say...I LOVE spending time with International moms. I'm not sure how many true and ever lasting friendships I'll make while I'm here, but getting together with my International acquaintances has been so fascinating. I keep learning so much! And it never gets boring.

I know I once mentioned that getting to know International moms can be a little tricky sometimes, since we are all so different and come from so many backgrounds. But, the conversations I've had with many moms over here are priceless.

My sister was telling me how she thought, that by the time we left Shanghai, there would be so many things I could tell her I'd miss when we actually do leave. Well, this will be one of them.

It seems that no matter how many times I have lunch with other moms...we eventually get onto the subject of World History, more specifically WW II. What?! Yes, that's right...WW II. Crazy, huh?! I'm the LAST person I ever thought would be sitting in a local cafe, discussing different "angles" of a World War that happened almost 70 years ago...especially with other moms. I mean, c'mon, we have other things in common just by being moms! While I haven't quite figured out WHY the subject always seems to turn to that particular subject, I SUSPECT that it was the last public event that "we" (as in, our countries) have in common. Isn't that wild? There's a psychology or sociology paper in there somewhere, I'm sure! Is it because we are women that we need to find some common ground in which to "bond"? And the last World War is as good of a subject as any? It's just very strange...

Whatever the reason...it's a hoot. I love getting their perspectives on many things. I love hearing their perspectives on how the world sees their culture or people. I love discussing these things about mine as well. I love learning about their culture, their businesses, their way of life back home. I love learning about the educational systems around the world (ah, that's the "mom" part talking). I love learning about different Holidays observed and how they are celebrated. I love hearing about their perspective on the world and culture around them, both back home and in China. I even love observing their daily apparel and accessories...what's important to them and why.

So...WHAT things have I heard so far?? While I couldn't relay entire conversations, I can give you an idea of what I'm talking about...snippets of conversations perhaps.

I had a german friend relay "their" rivalry with the "snobbish" french. She seemed to think that french people are WAY too high on themselves...so much so, that she refused to join a french group of moms while here in Shanghai when she was so desperate to connect with other moms. I learned that some german women think the world has an impression of german women as being brusque and burly...a friend seemed to think it was an impression left by Adolf Hitler and WW II. I hinted that it might be an impression left by the Olympics, when they were reported doing steroids. She was totally mystified by that theory of thought.

I have learned from an Italian friend that Valentine's Day in Italy is celebrated ONLY by couples. I have learned that the Japanese celebrate Valentine's Day between friends. Only younger chinese couples think to celebrate Valentine's Day here in Shanghai. But, there are enough young couples celebrating it that you need to book in advance for some restaurants on that night.

While MANY people already know this, but I hadn't a clue, because I'm not a history buff...Switzerland was a completely neutral country during WW II. Ok, THAT I knew. However, did you know that the Jewish people in Switzerland were not forced to leave that country because of its neutrality? I didn't know that. Many Jewish people flocked to Switzerland during WW II for that reason. I have a friend from Switzerland that said her Grandfather was one of those people. While he never legally obtained a passport from Switzerland during the war...through personal perseverance and drive, he finally obtained one when we was 78 years old. Imagine that.

I've learned that many people all over the world can get passports from different countries by dropping a TON of money in that country's stock options/market. The US even allows it for a cheap $1,000,000 USD. I don't know ALL the details of this, but I DO know that many [very rich] chinese people have passports from all over the world. I didn't know this was even possible...hmmm.

Did you know that Australia is still part of England's government? Wow...I didn't know that. They observe the same Holidays as Great Britain. I also learned that Australians aren't truly fond of the English. I'm not sure if it's vice versa...yet. ;-)

Most recently, I have learned about a specific tradition observed by all chinese women...confinement. When chinese women give birth, they go through one month of confinement. They even hire a "confinement lady" to help with the process of confinement. The reason behind this confinement period is so the mother can restore her health and recover completely. There are very strict rules that the mother adheres to during this period and the confinement lady is there to make sure she follows them. Just a few of the rules are: the mother cannot get wet (meaning no shower or bath) for the entire month. Uh...ew. There is a strict diet that the mother eats/drinks and it is usually cooked by the confinement lady. The mother isn't allowed to hold her child with the exception of feeding times for the entire month following birth. The confinement lady brings her the child and takes the child away after feedings. The mother can't read anything because it strains her eyes. No TV. ETC. I have TWO friends who both did this confinement and paid good money for their confinement lady. Sort of like us paying for a doula back home, I guess. The confinement lady gives the mother massages, cooks her meals, makes her rest, and watches the baby for the entire month. Now, THAT is interesting!

Did you know that Switzerland has three OFFICIAL languages...French, German and Italian? My friend from Switzerland speaks Swiss-German and says that most German people wouldn't be able to understand her. Interesting, huh? Also, I recently learned from Allen (who learned it from...who knows where?)that the US doesn't even have ONE "official" language. English is the most spoken language...but technically, it's not "official".

See what I mean?? Absolutely fascinating stuff!! I LOVE learning these kinds of things, especially from other moms and wives. I WILL miss this when we go back home. As I said before, I'm not sure how many lasting friendships I will make while I'm here. Connecting with women from around the world isn't always easy. The "signals" are always so varied and usually different than what you can expect back home. So, who knows! I'm trying to have fun in the meantime and enjoy the opportunity to learn so much from so many different and wonderful women!

Coloring

Since I had been away from the boys for awhile, my blogs were all about ME. :) However, I know many of you family members want updates about the boys too.

I took Ryan to the little playground at our local grocery store the other day. At the time we were there, fortunately, there weren't very many people...only one other child. So, Ryan and I had lots of fun traipsing around the play yard, jumping in the balls, jumping on the trampoline, running around obstacles, rolling down the ramps, sliding down the slides and even swinging on their swings.

It occurred to me that at some point in our venture to the Far East, Ryan had outgrown a baby swing. When did that happen? There are two "big boy" swings in the play area and Ryan hops onto them like he's been doing it for ages...he's only 2.5 years old! I thought I had remembered Brandon being in the baby swing for a lot longer...or at least ME keeping him in it for a lot longer. Have the boys grown so much since arriving here? Am I missing all the growing they are doing by being so preoccupied by living here??

It's hard to remember that Ryan is only two. He is so smart and knows so many things now. He's talking so well now. Is he really only 2.5 years old? My perception of my kids differ greatly between each of the boys at specific ages. Time seemed soooo slow the first time around and seems soooo quick the second time. Of course, moving to China has been a HUGE distraction from what I would normally concentrate on a daily basis.

Back to the swings. While I was pushing Ryan in the swing, I had to reflect on the fact that other than an isolated swing here or there, China doesn't really have a lot of parks with large outdoor structures, more specifically with swings. I know that many OT specialists LOVE swings and the effect they have on so many children...often a calming one. What does it mean that China lacks simple tools to help calm their children? What do the kids find to do to replace that proprioceptive sensation? Don't they need it or wouldn't they benefit from it like so many OT specialists feel kids in the US do? I know many adults that still love to swing. It's hard to deny the benefit or effect swinging can have on some people. How sad that China doesn't offer more of these simple things for their kids. We take things like that for granted in the US. Even the poorest of neighborhoods in the US often have swing sets...even if it's the ONLY thing on the playground.

So, it seems overnight, that Ryan has developed an obsession with coloring. He colors like a fiend. Color, color, color. I know kids grow into a stage where they do certain activities more often, perhaps. But, this borders on obsession. I can't help but wonder if he has found coloring to be his "escape" from the difficult challenges he sometimes faces here in China. I know coloring has ALWAYS provided ME with a feeling of calm. I reach a "zone" when coloring. So, it makes sense that it is therapeutic for Ryan too. But, it makes me sad that, as his mommy, I can't "shield" him from certain challenges he may be facing here. God only knows I have been trying my best. Then again, maybe this is JUST a phase that any or some two year olds goes through. Who knows!

So...instead of swings, he has coloring. AT LEAST, he has something! Maybe I should start coloring more often! ;-)

The Incredible Mr. Limpet

About a year ago...long before either of my kids could sit and watch a full length movie in one sitting, I rented Mary Poppins for them. I hadn't watched it in years, the movie has kid likable items in it, ie, other kids, frisky songs, absurdities, like floating if you laugh scenes, etc, AND it offers real life imagery in combination with cartoon caricatures. So, I popped into the DVD player, and for the first time, both of the kids watched this movie in its entirety. However, because they were still a little too young, the magic wore off by the 2nd viewing and they were up and running after Mary Poppins made her appearance and sung "A Spoonful of Sugar".

I had almost forgotten their fascination with Mary Poppins and because I had rented it, we [obviously] didn't own it. On this last trip to the States, I tried to think of all kinds of things to buy for each of us that are hard to find in China. Any english speaking movie, book or video game took the top of my list of things to buy and bring back. While I was perusing the video store back home as well as the video sections of almost any store that had them, I remembered the popularity of Mary Poppins of way back when and decided to give it another go...and bought it this time.

Another movie that popped up into view, was The Incredible Mr. Limpet. Remember that one? I remember loving it myself when I was a kid...mostly because it had the dual imagery of real life characters and cartoon caricatures. So, again, I took a chance that my boys would like it and bought it to bring back to China.

OMG! It was so funny!! They LOVED it! Who would have thought?! They were riveted the entire movie! The whole movie is about things boys would like...big Navy ships, loud sonic booms, underwater scenes, sunken ships, torpedoes, submarines, talking hermit crabs and OF COURSE...the dual imagery! I think this movies supersedes the imagery of Mary Poppins. Where Mary Poppins is full of fanciful characters and the cartoons are just as fanciful...Mr. Limpet applies real life scenes in addition to the cartoon imagery of real life characters. Again, they absolutely LOVED it! Just when the movie was in trouble of turning dull...there would be a LOUD sonic boom or a torpedo boom that would quickly get their attention again. hahaha Too funny...

Although, I had a hard time explaining a few things about the movie. Things like, "why do the American ships want to hurt the German submarines?", and "HOW did he turn into a fish?", and "why can he make that loud sound?", and "why are they looking for the submarines?" and "why do the submarines want to hurt Mr. Limpet?", and "why is Mr. Limpet helping the Navy to kill the German submarines?"

Aaaaggghhhh! How does one explain war again? Unfortunately, Daddy was not around this time to help field some of these questions. But, I got through many of them by emitting the standard "mom grunt/slur of words" and then excitedly pointing to the the TV again. hahaha Most of the time, it worked. However, my inquisitive 5-year old wouldn't let me slide on all of them as he kept asking the same question throughout the movie until he was thoroughly satisfied. He's such a little bugger...hahaha Literally. ;-)

Anyone have any other good suggestions for movies that have that dual imagery?

Well...I'm "home."

MANY friends told me that they worried about me coming back to China. They were worried that I would go through the entire, difficult and emotional process as when I first arrived.

I won't deny that as I flew into Hong Kong and then Shanghai, I was overcome with a feeling of...harrumph. Ack, I'm back. However, unbelievably, there was a MAJOR difference this time.

There is a difference between moving somewhere and expecting/wanting it to be like the place you just left and KNOWING that the place you are going is nothing like you expect...so don't even bother. Does that make any sense?

THIS time, I knew what I was coming back to and instead of making me feel even ickier about living here...it was like a weight had been lifted. I had crossed over. I no longer felt afraid, unsure, confused and discombobulated. When we first arrived, EVERYTHING that was ever known to me or I was ever taught was constantly being challenged and the learning curve was very STEEP. THIS time, however, the differences that I see between back home and China are...just that, only differences. Also, when we first arrived, I was trying to make China our new home. THIS time, I breathe evenly with the knowledge that this is ONLY temporary and incredibly, there even exists a certain "charm" to this place that I'm only beginning to see and understand.

When I see people urinating off the side of the road..."hey, that's China!" When I look at the crumbling buildings situated next to the modern high rises..."hey, that's China!" When I get ripped off at the markets..."hey, that's China." When I can't get internet service..."hey, that's China." Ok, ok, ok...SOME of that so-called "charm" has already worn off. The above mentioned situations are frustrating, no matter HOW long you have lived here.

However, visiting back home helped put many things into perspective for me. This is NOT my home forever. I DO have a big, clean house and community to go to after this is all done. We DO have our own recreational vehicle for LOTS of future family fun time. We DO have a reliable educational system in place upon our return. We DO have fresh, clean air to breathe when we get back. I DO have friends and family who love and miss me and us. THANK GOODNESS for all those things! I know these concepts sound simple...but when you're thrust into a situation that you just "have to make the best of it", it really can be a bleak proposition and you tend to forget ALL of the important things that you left and you really begin to forget and understand that they are still there to come home to. Crazy you can forget such important things, I know.

SO! I think I finally understand why so many people say it takes at least six months to figure things out and get settled. While all those things that make living here so difficult are STILL HERE...the knowledge, understanding and enlightenment also rise to the surface. Making it not SO difficult and horrible...it just "is".

There are certain things that still make us question our decision to live here. Ryan's health and the general health of our family is no joking matter. We are still taking that very seriously and into consideration. Now, we are battling with the disappointment in educational system over here as well and how it is affecting our boys...in both the short and long term. So, we don't know how the future will play out for us exactly. There are many variables to consider, all of the time.

However, friends here in China noticed immediately how "radiant" I looked after visiting the US for a couple of weeks. It's true. I feel MUCH MORE radiant after spending some quality time with those that I care about. Connecting with them has made feel a whole lot less...alone. They commiserated with me, they shared with me, they helped me and they laughed with me.

It's always good to find your smile again. :)

Flying back to China

Well, my trip to Arizona has ended. I can’t even describe how wonderful my visit was the entire two weeks I was there. Have you ever had one of those vacations that, while you had a great time, you feel like you need a vacation from your vacation?? This is one of those rare trips, for me, that I DON’T feel that way at the end of my trip.

People keep asking me what kinds of things I did while I was here in Arizona…

Primarily, I ran around seeing different people and running errands. Doesn’t sound exceptional, does it? However, it’s WHO I got to visit that made my trip so wonderful.

I got to see my dad, distraction-free (a.k.a. kid-free) almost every night and some days during this trip. It’s been awhile since I have gotten THIS much hassle-free time with him. It was a rare opportunity and one that we both needed. We had some great conversation, reminisced about several shared memories, talked about life, the world, the future, etc. It was fantastic. I reminded him that when we come back, the boys will be old enough to hear his stories, and how I would love for him to teach them how to fish like he taught me when I was younger.

I had the “hostess with the most-ess” during my trip. She made me so comfortable, it felt like I was living in my own home (down the street) again. Her and her family are truly some of the BEST people on earth and I love them so much. I got to spend some time catching up, talking about old times, sharing our feelings and thoughts, etc. We got some really good “girl time” in and I couldn’t be happier about that. A bonus to this trip was her soon-to-be 12-year old daughter. She has grown up some since I last saw her and I got some MORE girl time in with her as well. I LOVED it! All of us girls spent some time chatting, sharing, having a tea ceremony, shopping, etc…it was SO MUCH fun!

My friend from Phoenix was gracious enough to drive down for the day and we had so much fun catching up on our lives. Our friendship often involves some deep philosophical discussion about life and the world…I love that! We often sharpen our minds by these discussions, so we were sure to relax at the day spa to nurture our bodies as well as our minds. We also had lunch at my good friends’ Italian restaurant near the University. OMG! Those people make some of the BEST pizza I’ve ever had! It had the most incredible sauce with fresh cloves of garlic, the cheese was just right and the meatballs were freshly hand rolled. OMG! SOOOOO good! It was a very good day indeed.

I had the opportunity to see many different people over meals. I enjoyed learning how life has been for them these last few months. I also enjoyed seeing some of my mom friends. I have to admit that I was also glad to see them as frazzled as I often feel with my own kids. Sorry! But, it’s true! Culturally, there are just some things we do and how we handle certain situations that I can identify with, which I don’t in China. I “get” these moms…where I don’t always “get” some moms in China. It helped put some things into perspective for me when I go back to Shanghai. That’s VERY good. It also went a long way to giving me some peace of mind about my own parenting skills.

I visited Brandon’s pre-K teacher while I was in town. She is originally Taiwanese and also speaks Mandarin. I was glad I could give her an update about the boys and their progress in China. She was happy to hear about them. It was also good to get a barometer on the educational…or lack thereof…progress of preschoolers both back home and in China. I’m disappointed to find out that Brandon (especially) may not be getting a top notch education in China at the moment. It’s yet another thing for me to worry about when I get back.

I was able to visit our exceptional tenants, who are good friends of ours, as well as check our house out for any faulty pipes, fixtures, etc. Our tenants have taken WONDERFUL care of our house and we couldn’t be happier with their help in that regard. I also interviewed a couple of Property Management Companies and we may have narrowed it down to one good and tenacious one. So, that was good.

I took our Jeep in for some routine as well as non-routine maintenance. Having used it to 4X4 before we left as much as we did, in addition to letting it sit for so many months…well, it needed a few repairs. So, I had the opportunity to fix it up nice for our next trip back home.


One of my most treasured times during this visit, was rock hunting with my gal pals. I can hardly think of anything better than spending a day in nature, exercising, eating gourmet food on the trail, finding beautiful rocks for my yard and chatting with a few of the most wonderful women I know. There is no doubt that I reached some of my most “zen” moments out in the middle of nowhere with these ladies...as I usually do. And I SOOOOOO needed that!

Since I was spending time with both my dad and my rocking buddies, it’s safe to assume we got to visit the gem show together. We DO all like rocks so much. It was lots of fun…so much so, that we only got the chance to visit ONE of 45 shows in town…my dad’s, of course. There was so much to see (and BUY), we all ran out of money and time, after seeing only one show this year. Well, I was able to visit a few more here and there, during a few of my day trips through town.


The BEST part is…that I finally ended a NINE year search for some grouped pyrite specimens. Whew! The specimens are GORGEOUS and I can’t wait to come home to display them. For now, they are being safe guarded by a close and trusted friend until I return home. My friend KNOWS I’ll come home to retrieve them! haha

I also SHOPPED! Shopped like crazy! People want to know what I’m taking back. Hmmm…let’s see…while I can’t remember everything I stuffed in my suitcases, I can probably name a few. Things like, liquid band-aid, good smelling hand sanitizers, waterless foam soap pocket dispensers, feminine products, winter clothes for me, pants for Allen, a few toys, some books, a couple of games, videos, wii games, granola, protein bars, veggies/fruits on the go, [good] chocolate, beef and turkey jerky, some educational supplies, OTC medicine, etc! And, yes, a few rocks. ;-)

As I passed through LA, I got to see my sister. The time wasn’t long enough. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that it isn’t ALL about the kids and she was genuinely happy to see me. ;-) We had a good time with the little time we had together and I’m very glad to have had that opportunity.

Many people keep asking me if I’m excited to see the boys and go back home. It’s hard to explain why my answer is both yes and no, without sounding like a bad mom. OF COURSE I can’t wait to see my beautiful babies! I have missed those little munchkins and I can’t wait to hug and kiss them – for days!! However, most of my stress in China is related to nurturing and protecting my babies…or lack thereof. So, seeing my boys also means a TON of stress for me. A TON of stress I’m returning to…a home I’m not quite fond of…feelings of anxiety that I couldn’t explain to anyone back home, if I tried, on a daily basis. I’m glad I had the chance to recharge my batteries. However, with renewed energy, also comes enlightenment about a few things. I pray for strength to battle the daily challenges of life in China – again.

With THAT being said, I’m looking forward to this summer in Hawaii! It’s SOOOO good to have something to look forward to! :)