Another day. Take a DEEEEP breath. Ok...maybe two...or three. ;)
I have got to take some time to express my sincerest, most humble, from-the-bottom-of-my-heart, deepest, truly genuine and most heartfelt THANK YOU!!!!!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you to those of you (you know who you are) who have sent your love and support my way, whether in the form of a care package, a letter, a card, an email or online chat. For EVERY form of "I Love You" you have sent, I can't begin to express to you how much it has meant to me. In the absence of your physical presence, I have received so many other kinds of "hugs" from many of you and I want you to know I have felt each and every one of them. THANK YOU.
While I'm learning a lot about myself here, I have always had an innate knowledge of my animal within. There is no doubt about it...I'm a "pack" animal. I thrive when surrounded by my "pack" or community. Which, of course, is one of the biggest reasons moving is so hard for me and WHY moving here, in particular, has been especially challenging for me. Right now, I'm a pack animal...alone...in a foreign land...with two young cubs to look after. I know this sounds completely corny, but if you think about the fact that we are all animals at our most basic levels...well, it shouldn't surprise me or anybody else why I may feel the way I do. Some people are loners...while others are not. I'm not.
So, having my "pack" send me their love and support in so many ways, letting me know you are thinking of me means so very, very much to me. And I just want you all to know that.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Trouble in paradise
Why am I blogging about something so personal? First, I want those who make this kind of transition in their [married] lives and who might be reading my blogs, to consider that moving half way around the world AND to a country that feels so vastly different from home, can put a LOT of stress on any marriage...even those of you who have the best of foundations! Remember, that once you get here, it's not so easy to seek counseling and find resolution to even the most common problems between you and your spouse. Not to mention all the other variables inevitably set against you in a move like this...excessive business travel for either spouse, potential health problems, feelings of isolation, vulnerability and exposure to other culture, food and relationships, levels of difficulty in otherwise simple tasks, added frustration, unforeseen complications, financial stresses, raw personality differences, etc, etc etc. I really could go on and on about it.
Secondly, my commitment to writing this blog was not only for the present, but also for the future, both for myself and my kids. Anything I feel and decide to write about is...REAL...genuine. Life throws people curve balls and it will be good for my kids to [eventually] see the transgression of my thoughts and feelings about certain things.
Thirdly, writing always helps me gain clarity. So, maybe if I write about this, I will find some form of resolution, some clarity or gain some knowledge which will help bring some semblance of peace to my overwrought emotional roller coaster. Something has got to be done if I'm to "hold on".
My husband and I have always had our differences. But like travelling, this experience has brought these differences to a "raw" level for us. For you travellers out there, you know exactly what I'm talking about. People can care deeply for each other...but sometimes can't travel with them if their lives depended on it. Something about the different levels of stress that can bring out the worst in a person when travelling. Same goes for this kind of experience. Back home, both of us were able to obscure the rawness of our different personalities by keeping several other "norms" in our life. The routine of work, the community of friends, different activities, etc., to keep us otherwise engaged when we rubbed each other the wrong way. And when none of that worked, there was always the possibility of counseling, romantic weekend get-a-aways and an abundance of other resources we could use at our disposal...to continue to try and remain a familial unit. After all, we have kids to consider and a vested interest in staying together.
My sweet and wonderful mother is a "glass is half full" kind of person. I always admired that about her. She is also, in my opinion, a "water" personality. I feel a move like this, would have been so much easier for her, with or without children. I'm beginning to understand that not everybody has the same abilities to make life "work" in all circumstances. I can see that I'm tough. I can see that I'm stable. I'm strong. I'm reliable. After all, all of these [mentioned] characteristics are what GOT us here to China in the first place. I recognize my abilities to remain strong and do what is needed to be done, when it is needed to be done. But, now I'm floundering. Flopping on a foreign shore, without a spec of water in sight. And because I'm strong, nobody seems to hear or see me. "She's strong, she'll bounce back." Right?
I'll be the first to admit that I'm no rose to live with, especially when my emotional and mental state is continuously being pushed to their limits. I can understand my husband NOT wanting to have me around anymore. I don't envy him here in China. However, on a very basic level, I feel that whatever discomfort he feels right now is the LEAST he can put up with when I'm feeling so incredibly lousy - all the time. Right or wrong? I don't care. And THAT is why I feel I'm entering a danger zone within my marriage...I just don't care anymore. I don't care about him. I don't care about us. I feel I have given all that I can give and there just isn't any more left. I have zero tolerance when it comes to all those little things that can drive any couple nuts about each other. I feel "raw" and emotionally spent. I'm drained.
My husband, I'm afraid, is no rose either. Those closest to me, know my husband's darker and much less attractive side. Everybody has one or two. For those who don't know him at all...he's a GOOD guy...don't get me wrong. But, like anybody else, he has his own characteristics that are less appealing.
One less appealing spouse + another unappealing spouse = one ugly couple.
In extreme circumstances where one spouse is so low, hopefully, the other takes a turn and will spend a lot of energy to build that spouse back up...making great (and not necessarily easy) efforts to help restore the familial unit again. Can I expect this to happen from my own husband? Hmmm...maybe...maybe not. And, yes, it's ALL on him now. I, personally, am at ground zero...emotionally, mentally, psychologically, physically, spiritually. I really am not doing so well right now. Unfair? Probably. Do I care? Nope. It is what it is...
So, where does that leave us? That is a great BIG question mark right now. Our first mistake was to naively believe that life could feel "normal" over here. With so many challenges we face each day, both together and separate...how could it be "normal"? There are a high number of frustrations...with very little rewards. Our family time is strained due to any number of frustrating circumstances and decisions.
Can couples do this?? Absolutely! But, I honestly believe each couple needs to consider both personality types and decide whether the experience is something each person can handle OR even wants to handle! You have something to gain from the experience, but everything to lose if it doesn't work out.
Secondly, my commitment to writing this blog was not only for the present, but also for the future, both for myself and my kids. Anything I feel and decide to write about is...REAL...genuine. Life throws people curve balls and it will be good for my kids to [eventually] see the transgression of my thoughts and feelings about certain things.
Thirdly, writing always helps me gain clarity. So, maybe if I write about this, I will find some form of resolution, some clarity or gain some knowledge which will help bring some semblance of peace to my overwrought emotional roller coaster. Something has got to be done if I'm to "hold on".
My husband and I have always had our differences. But like travelling, this experience has brought these differences to a "raw" level for us. For you travellers out there, you know exactly what I'm talking about. People can care deeply for each other...but sometimes can't travel with them if their lives depended on it. Something about the different levels of stress that can bring out the worst in a person when travelling. Same goes for this kind of experience. Back home, both of us were able to obscure the rawness of our different personalities by keeping several other "norms" in our life. The routine of work, the community of friends, different activities, etc., to keep us otherwise engaged when we rubbed each other the wrong way. And when none of that worked, there was always the possibility of counseling, romantic weekend get-a-aways and an abundance of other resources we could use at our disposal...to continue to try and remain a familial unit. After all, we have kids to consider and a vested interest in staying together.
My sweet and wonderful mother is a "glass is half full" kind of person. I always admired that about her. She is also, in my opinion, a "water" personality. I feel a move like this, would have been so much easier for her, with or without children. I'm beginning to understand that not everybody has the same abilities to make life "work" in all circumstances. I can see that I'm tough. I can see that I'm stable. I'm strong. I'm reliable. After all, all of these [mentioned] characteristics are what GOT us here to China in the first place. I recognize my abilities to remain strong and do what is needed to be done, when it is needed to be done. But, now I'm floundering. Flopping on a foreign shore, without a spec of water in sight. And because I'm strong, nobody seems to hear or see me. "She's strong, she'll bounce back." Right?
I'll be the first to admit that I'm no rose to live with, especially when my emotional and mental state is continuously being pushed to their limits. I can understand my husband NOT wanting to have me around anymore. I don't envy him here in China. However, on a very basic level, I feel that whatever discomfort he feels right now is the LEAST he can put up with when I'm feeling so incredibly lousy - all the time. Right or wrong? I don't care. And THAT is why I feel I'm entering a danger zone within my marriage...I just don't care anymore. I don't care about him. I don't care about us. I feel I have given all that I can give and there just isn't any more left. I have zero tolerance when it comes to all those little things that can drive any couple nuts about each other. I feel "raw" and emotionally spent. I'm drained.
My husband, I'm afraid, is no rose either. Those closest to me, know my husband's darker and much less attractive side. Everybody has one or two. For those who don't know him at all...he's a GOOD guy...don't get me wrong. But, like anybody else, he has his own characteristics that are less appealing.
One less appealing spouse + another unappealing spouse = one ugly couple.
In extreme circumstances where one spouse is so low, hopefully, the other takes a turn and will spend a lot of energy to build that spouse back up...making great (and not necessarily easy) efforts to help restore the familial unit again. Can I expect this to happen from my own husband? Hmmm...maybe...maybe not. And, yes, it's ALL on him now. I, personally, am at ground zero...emotionally, mentally, psychologically, physically, spiritually. I really am not doing so well right now. Unfair? Probably. Do I care? Nope. It is what it is...
So, where does that leave us? That is a great BIG question mark right now. Our first mistake was to naively believe that life could feel "normal" over here. With so many challenges we face each day, both together and separate...how could it be "normal"? There are a high number of frustrations...with very little rewards. Our family time is strained due to any number of frustrating circumstances and decisions.
Can couples do this?? Absolutely! But, I honestly believe each couple needs to consider both personality types and decide whether the experience is something each person can handle OR even wants to handle! You have something to gain from the experience, but everything to lose if it doesn't work out.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Wine Tasting
Our big "bulk" warehouse store, called Metro was having a wine tasting party this afternoon. I have visited their wine section on a couple of occasions, taking in all the labels from around the world and hoping to see some of my own favorites from the States. Their selection continuously changes. I'll admit, I'm definitely not very familiar with wine on a global scale, so looking at all the unfamiliar labels (in different languages) can be pretty daunting. I was ecstatic to learn of this wine tasting event since I have been hedging on buying anything unfamiliar up to this point. I was looking forward to the opportunity to try several of the bottles on display.
I had invited my Australian friend since, she too, is very fond of wine. She had enthusiastically accepted, but unfortunately something came up and she had to decline earlier in the day. So, I ended up going myself...and Mr. Chen. :) And, nooooo, Mr. Chen didn't partake of the festivities as he IS our driver! haha The kids napped at home with ayi in the house.
Anyway, they had food and several bottles lined up along 3 different tables, white to red, including some champagnes, Chiantis and Shiraz. Because I was so curious as to what the rest of the world offered, I tried many of them. I found the whites to be either too placid or too sweet. The champagnes were just ok. The reds (mostly Cabs and just a couple of Merlots) had several tiers of flavor among them...some were ok and some were very, very dry. The Chianti offered bold beginnings, but all of them fizzled and left a bland aftertaste. I'm not normally a big fan of Shiraz. However, even I was able to recognize that their Australian Shiraz was pretty darn good. The last to try on the table were Shiraz-Cab combos. These, I liked the best. Shiraz, by nature, is a little more fruity. Cabernets are very dry reds. Separately, I don't generally care for either...usually choosing a good Merlot. However, the combo had a very pleasing taste, which seemed to offer the best of both the Cab and the Shiraz. I chose two bottles, both combos, both from southern Australia.
While Metro does offer a few bottles imported from the US, I find their US selection to be very limited. It's this way in every place I have looked so far. What I wouldn't give to find a bottle of Kendal Jackson Chardonnay or Beringer's Chenin Blanc...for this summer, at least. After having tried several bottles of wine from countries like France, Australia, Italy, etc., I can honestly say that my biased (to the US) and not-very-worldly palate were not very impressed. I suspect that this is because of ME...not the wine(s). With a stick-in-the-mud (or was it wood-in-mud? hee hee) kind of personality, I definitely like to stick with what I know! :)
While I'm here, I will continue to try the vast variety of imported vino that China has to offer. I know China also makes their own wine. However, they have several different types...rice wine, grape wine, etc. I look forward to trying many of them! :)
I had invited my Australian friend since, she too, is very fond of wine. She had enthusiastically accepted, but unfortunately something came up and she had to decline earlier in the day. So, I ended up going myself...and Mr. Chen. :) And, nooooo, Mr. Chen didn't partake of the festivities as he IS our driver! haha The kids napped at home with ayi in the house.
Anyway, they had food and several bottles lined up along 3 different tables, white to red, including some champagnes, Chiantis and Shiraz. Because I was so curious as to what the rest of the world offered, I tried many of them. I found the whites to be either too placid or too sweet. The champagnes were just ok. The reds (mostly Cabs and just a couple of Merlots) had several tiers of flavor among them...some were ok and some were very, very dry. The Chianti offered bold beginnings, but all of them fizzled and left a bland aftertaste. I'm not normally a big fan of Shiraz. However, even I was able to recognize that their Australian Shiraz was pretty darn good. The last to try on the table were Shiraz-Cab combos. These, I liked the best. Shiraz, by nature, is a little more fruity. Cabernets are very dry reds. Separately, I don't generally care for either...usually choosing a good Merlot. However, the combo had a very pleasing taste, which seemed to offer the best of both the Cab and the Shiraz. I chose two bottles, both combos, both from southern Australia.
While Metro does offer a few bottles imported from the US, I find their US selection to be very limited. It's this way in every place I have looked so far. What I wouldn't give to find a bottle of Kendal Jackson Chardonnay or Beringer's Chenin Blanc...for this summer, at least. After having tried several bottles of wine from countries like France, Australia, Italy, etc., I can honestly say that my biased (to the US) and not-very-worldly palate were not very impressed. I suspect that this is because of ME...not the wine(s). With a stick-in-the-mud (or was it wood-in-mud? hee hee) kind of personality, I definitely like to stick with what I know! :)
While I'm here, I will continue to try the vast variety of imported vino that China has to offer. I know China also makes their own wine. However, they have several different types...rice wine, grape wine, etc. I look forward to trying many of them! :)
Monday, August 25, 2008
Flirtation!
There's no doubt about it, folks, I'm starting to look my age. The years in the sun are catching up with me. The stress from this move, alone, has taken it's toll. :( I remember living in Hawaii and loving the extra moisture in the air because I seemed to always have a healthy glow in my skin. So, of course, with ALL of this extra moisture here in Shanghai, I honestly expected to see the skin cells replenish themselves quickly, thus giving me that glow again. Nope. I look worn, tired...stubborn lines that just refuse to smooth out either by my usual plumpness or replenished moisture. And, NOOOOO, it's not just my imagination! I rarely experience the kind of stress I have been experiencing lately and frankly, I don't think my body has handled it with it's usual 'grace under pressure' kind of way. My husband nows tells me he wants to drastically cut back on any travel plans I, in particular, had envisioned us taking over here. What were the benefits of doing all of this...for me?? I thought I had at least ONE. Apparently, ZERO...now. Yeah...I'm so very tired and it's definitely showing.
However, with that being said, the most unusual things(s) occurred to me today. And the ONLY reason I'm bringing it up is because it took me by complete surprise...I was utterly shocked, THRICE! I was supposed to get a foot massage with my Australian friend today but she had to cancel at the last minute and I decided to go on ahead without her. This time, I was in a private room and a male massage person came in the door. No biggie. Well, as I was leaning back in the chair, he decides to strike up a conversation with extremely limited English. *sigh* Uh...ok. He looked to be about 22, but that could actually mean he's a Chinese "35" for all I know. OTHER people don't seem to get talkers...why must I?? Anyway, he's trying to talk to me...teaching me Chinese...wanting to know names of things in English. I keep thinking he's only trying to be personable, he's going to get tired of this little charades game and he'll let me actually enjoy this massage in silence! Then he told me I was very beautiful...WHAT?! Is he flirting?? haha Naahhh. That's ridiculous. Some cultural difference must be there that I'm not aware of or something. Or SOMETHING.
I know he wasn't looking for a big tip...because you don't tip over here. And on our last trip, we were having dinner with May and we had a discussion about how many white guys will hook up with Chinese women, but "not other way around...Chinese men do not like white women." She further explained, "...white women are too big and too forward." Well, that's that. As I discussed with many of my friends already, I fully expected to come over and be treated as if I wasn't even here, by Chinese men. And, thus far, I have not been disappointed.
Ok. So...moving on. Whatever. I indicated he was doing a great job and I wanted to doze. He immediately set the lights low and finally left me in peace. Ahhh. Now that is what I'm talking about. :) After he finished and as he was putting towels over my legs and feet to wipe the cream off, he told me, "I. eat. break." I interpreted this as: he will be taking a break after this and will be eating during the course of it. Then, he said, "You. eat. me?" hahaha WHAT?? hahaha Uh, WHAT? Then it dawned on me...I think he was asking me to have lunch with him! Because, he reiterated and slightly changed the wording, "You. want. eat...and pointed to himself." What?? Did he just ask me out??? hahaha I guess I'll never truly be sure...but I did suspect a little flirtation in there somewhere. haha I completely pretended I didn't understand so he could "save face" and he just nodded, smiled...and told me his number. His employee number...not his phone number! hee hee
Right after the massage, we headed to a big Costco sized store, called Metro. The driver and I went through the store picking out our goods. I went to the wine section to look around. I was immediately approached by a Chinese man with a French accent. I asked him if they had a few specific brands...nope. I asked him about a few different types of wine and if they had those. No such luck. But, I assume he is a wine connoisseur himself because he seemed pretty excited about my questions...as only a true connoisseur of wine can be! haha He asked me where I was from...what types of wine I really liked...then we talked about specific brand names from the US, etc, etc, etc. Ok, I was ready to go...but he kept on talking. His line of questioning became a little more personal. Do you live in Shanghai? Where in Shanghai? Do you work? If so, what company? He said he has seen me before in the store. Why do I live in Kangqiao...so far away? Ohhh...those sly French or Chinese with French accents. hee hee I explained that is where my husband works. His face actually "fell". I'm sorry...but it was actually funny! Then he gave me a little [knowing] half-smile and like any Frenchman, he was not to be deterred so easily! Ha! He then invited me to a wine tasting party they were having at the store this week and told me he would love if I went. Well, heck yeah I'll come...because I love wine and an official wine tasting party sounds so 'normal"...but NOT because he wants me to come. haha Too funny! Even my driver mentioned THIS flirtation. Laughing as we walked away, Mr. Chen said, "hee hee He like Kimberly (pronounced Kim-ber-ry), I think."
Then, as we were heading down our last aisle, I stopped to look at some cheese. There was an older French guy there. He looked at me. He looked again. And THEN it happened. haha He pulled the "typicals", I'm afraid. haha He mentioned we seem to be at all the same places at the same times, in the store. Really? I don't remember seeing him. He asked what cheese I liked, as if this line of conversation is supposed to hold my interest for more than a millisecond. haha And since I felt I knew where this might be going, I said 'au revoir' and headed back to my cart!
It was just one of those days, I guess. However, since I had every expectation of being a wall flower for the next two years, I found it interesting AND note worthy that these events occurred today. Especially from the Chinese men. Also, as stated above, I KNOW I'm not looking my best (healthiest, prettiest, whatever) as of late...which makes these events doubly surprising to me! I just didn't see it coming! haha
However, with that being said, the most unusual things(s) occurred to me today. And the ONLY reason I'm bringing it up is because it took me by complete surprise...I was utterly shocked, THRICE! I was supposed to get a foot massage with my Australian friend today but she had to cancel at the last minute and I decided to go on ahead without her. This time, I was in a private room and a male massage person came in the door. No biggie. Well, as I was leaning back in the chair, he decides to strike up a conversation with extremely limited English. *sigh* Uh...ok. He looked to be about 22, but that could actually mean he's a Chinese "35" for all I know. OTHER people don't seem to get talkers...why must I?? Anyway, he's trying to talk to me...teaching me Chinese...wanting to know names of things in English. I keep thinking he's only trying to be personable, he's going to get tired of this little charades game and he'll let me actually enjoy this massage in silence! Then he told me I was very beautiful...WHAT?! Is he flirting?? haha Naahhh. That's ridiculous. Some cultural difference must be there that I'm not aware of or something. Or SOMETHING.
I know he wasn't looking for a big tip...because you don't tip over here. And on our last trip, we were having dinner with May and we had a discussion about how many white guys will hook up with Chinese women, but "not other way around...Chinese men do not like white women." She further explained, "...white women are too big and too forward." Well, that's that. As I discussed with many of my friends already, I fully expected to come over and be treated as if I wasn't even here, by Chinese men. And, thus far, I have not been disappointed.
Ok. So...moving on. Whatever. I indicated he was doing a great job and I wanted to doze. He immediately set the lights low and finally left me in peace. Ahhh. Now that is what I'm talking about. :) After he finished and as he was putting towels over my legs and feet to wipe the cream off, he told me, "I. eat. break." I interpreted this as: he will be taking a break after this and will be eating during the course of it. Then, he said, "You. eat. me?" hahaha WHAT?? hahaha Uh, WHAT? Then it dawned on me...I think he was asking me to have lunch with him! Because, he reiterated and slightly changed the wording, "You. want. eat...and pointed to himself." What?? Did he just ask me out??? hahaha I guess I'll never truly be sure...but I did suspect a little flirtation in there somewhere. haha I completely pretended I didn't understand so he could "save face" and he just nodded, smiled...and told me his number. His employee number...not his phone number! hee hee
Right after the massage, we headed to a big Costco sized store, called Metro. The driver and I went through the store picking out our goods. I went to the wine section to look around. I was immediately approached by a Chinese man with a French accent. I asked him if they had a few specific brands...nope. I asked him about a few different types of wine and if they had those. No such luck. But, I assume he is a wine connoisseur himself because he seemed pretty excited about my questions...as only a true connoisseur of wine can be! haha He asked me where I was from...what types of wine I really liked...then we talked about specific brand names from the US, etc, etc, etc. Ok, I was ready to go...but he kept on talking. His line of questioning became a little more personal. Do you live in Shanghai? Where in Shanghai? Do you work? If so, what company? He said he has seen me before in the store. Why do I live in Kangqiao...so far away? Ohhh...those sly French or Chinese with French accents. hee hee I explained that is where my husband works. His face actually "fell". I'm sorry...but it was actually funny! Then he gave me a little [knowing] half-smile and like any Frenchman, he was not to be deterred so easily! Ha! He then invited me to a wine tasting party they were having at the store this week and told me he would love if I went. Well, heck yeah I'll come...because I love wine and an official wine tasting party sounds so 'normal"...but NOT because he wants me to come. haha Too funny! Even my driver mentioned THIS flirtation. Laughing as we walked away, Mr. Chen said, "hee hee He like Kimberly (pronounced Kim-ber-ry), I think."
Then, as we were heading down our last aisle, I stopped to look at some cheese. There was an older French guy there. He looked at me. He looked again. And THEN it happened. haha He pulled the "typicals", I'm afraid. haha He mentioned we seem to be at all the same places at the same times, in the store. Really? I don't remember seeing him. He asked what cheese I liked, as if this line of conversation is supposed to hold my interest for more than a millisecond. haha And since I felt I knew where this might be going, I said 'au revoir' and headed back to my cart!
It was just one of those days, I guess. However, since I had every expectation of being a wall flower for the next two years, I found it interesting AND note worthy that these events occurred today. Especially from the Chinese men. Also, as stated above, I KNOW I'm not looking my best (healthiest, prettiest, whatever) as of late...which makes these events doubly surprising to me! I just didn't see it coming! haha
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Crazy...
(FIRST, if you haven't read my first blog for today, please read below!)I scare myself sometimes. I put my most treasured rocks in their centerpiece tray and arranged them like the most delicate of flowers. I had to re-arrange and re-arrange until I "felt" that it was right...then I stood back...and exclaimed, "Ahhhh, that's it." Let's not mention that my house is in shambles with all the stuff that arrived today. But, #1 on my priority list is to arrange my rocks! haha
Then I did the most absurd thing. I looked over my shoulder and out the kitchen window to be sure nobody was "hovering". Like ANYONE is going to attempt to steal my rocks! Yah, right. But, I can't help it. I feel that peculiar, and yet familiar, sensation of protectiveness towards my collection of rocks. And these particular rocks are even more special, since I shipped them halfway across the world just so I could look at them!
Grrrr...nobody BETTER mess with them! No lingering looks, no hand grabs, no heavy breathing...NOTHING of the sort, around the rocks! haha It's a sickness, I know. hahaha
However, I know I SHARE this sickness with other rock fiends in the world. More specifically, those wonderful women and friends of mine in Arizona...which are posing in the middle of my beautiful centerpiece. Whenever I see those 'fabulous five' in the picture frame, I'm reminded my sanity, or lack thereof, is SHARED by, at least, them! Ha! That puts a big smile on my face! :)
Christmas in August!!
Our stuff!!! Our stuff!!! Our stuff!!! Our stuff!!! :) :) :) :) :)
Our stuff has come! Our stuff has come!
I don't need to tell you how excited we were to get our stuff today! The boys were BEYOND excited to get their toys..and their books...and their outdoor play equipment...their train table...their trains...their balls...their squishy have-no-specific-purpose toys...their bubble machine...their stuffed animals...their bedtime music...their electronic keyboard, etc...etc...etc!!! They were even excited about their plastic plates, cups, sporks, etc! haha
Allen was excited to get his computer monitor...his keyboard...his wireless mouse...his iPod Home station...his Wii system...his electric screwdriver...etc...etc...etc.
Blue was BEYOND excited to get his toys, both old and new...some new snacks...his old food! :)
I was so excited to get...EVERYTHING!! haha Extra books to read, all the extra "western" food we shipped, the kids' toys, Blue's snacks and food, extra boxes of Costco wipes...our wonderful electronic TALL trash can...the few ROCKS I shipped for a centerpiece...OH, MY BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL Arizona rocks...I'm SOOOOO HAPPY to have them...they are soooooooooooo BEAUTIFUL!!!!! I'm excited to have extra medicine, linens...our BED...oh, thank goodness for our bed!!!! Oh! And my Gold Canyon candles! I'm sooooo happy to have those!!! Ahhhhhh...our stuff! A slice of hoommmee.
[I happen to be watching, at this very moment, the black/white version of the Wizard of Oz where Dorothy is trying to get back home and the Good Witch instructs her how to do it...There is no place like home. *click, click, click* There is no place like home. *click, click, click* I just unpacked my "shoe" box...what happened to my red sparkly slippers???!! Do you think my black sparkly Skechers will do the trick?] :)
The food. OMG! We shipped so much food, it's crazy!! haha But, I LOVE it! And, I love ME for thinking of most of it! hahaha Really! I had forgotten about more than half of the stuff that was being unpacked today and I was completely thrilled I had remembered to throw it in the shipment! I kept reiterating to myself, "Hee hee...Kim...you clever, clever girl!" Yah, you thought of malt vinegar! Yah, you thought of Clif Bars! Yah, you thought of trail mix! Yah, you thought of a Costco size box of tall kitchen bags! Yah, you thought of tepenade and bruschetta! Yah, you thought of extra doggie snacks! Yah, you thought of extra Flintstone vitamins for the kids! Yah! Yah! Yah! :) :) :)
Did we ship too much?? Yes, no doubt about it! However, unbelievably, we were told by the moving company that our shipment was very LIGHT compared to other houses/shipments. We had 3 crates and the movers had to go back to their warehouse for the two remaining ends of our outdoor play structure because they wouldn't fit on their truck with the original load. The movers said [usually], people have about 3 truck loads full of stuff...that's 3-4 crates to one truck load...so imagine having 3 truck loads full of stuff! Yikes! THAT is lot of stuff!
But, yes, even before our stuff arrived, I suspected we had brought too much over. As they kept bringing in the stuff, box after box...and then the bigger items...I watched our quaint house get smaller and smaller and smaller. Ugh! I can't believe how much stuff we have! I once had a discussion with May (Allen's ex co-worker) about why Americans have so much stuff. Even though I had a hard time explaining it then, I had felt that whatever the specific reason was for it, we were completely justified in it! Of course! haha
As our stuff was unpacked by the moving company, I have a much better understanding as to why we, as Americans, accumulate so much stuff. We have developed a need/want to make our lives easier on a regular, more daily, basis. This became clear to me as I counted 20 sippy cups for the boys PLUS straw cups galore, about 30 kid utensils, several plastic plates, even more plastic kid bowls...and it became increasing disgusting how many toys we have for the kids...box after box after box after box. Hey - defending myself here - when they are all put away in their perspective bins, it really doesn't look like so much! Not to mention all the clothes and shoes we brought over that we have absolutely no room for at the moment...which doesn't even include what we put in storage back home!! Why do we have all this stuff? Because back home, most of us don't have an ayi who cleans, organizes and washes on a DAILY basis! Seriously. We have lived out of suitcases for nearly two months now, but since our ayi washes our clothes every single day, this hasn't been much of a problem (with the exception of a much more limited selection). Now, it feels like we have a gross amount of clothing. Same goes for the linens...they are washed every other day by our ayi! Our boys have lived with TWO sippy cups each for [nearly] two months and since our ayi cleans them all of the time, I haven't really thought about it...until I saw 20 more sippy cups unpacked today. Same goes for their other plastic ware.
Back home, struggling with house, errands, shopping duties and kids...a woman must feel she NEEDS extra stuff so she ISN'T doing the same chores and/or errands every day!! And THAT is why we have so much stuff...to make our lives a little easier from the day to day, so we CAN leave dishes in the sink a little longer...and we CAN leave our clothes is the laundry bin until the weekend...and we CAN choose different colors/styles...ETC! AND why we have bigger refrigerators, bigger closets, bigger houses, etc, to hold all of it!
Movers. We had such a HORRIBLE moving company in Tucson (Firebird)...I thought for sure, the Chinese equivalent was going to be even worse. C'mon...look at our luck, so far, with Chinese companies! However, we were so pleasantly surprised today! This company was wonderful!! The name of the company is Santa Fe Relocation Services (I'm writing their name down in case I forget in two years) and they handled everything superbly! They had a Chinese crew of about 7 guys and they worked like clockwork until it was all done. They quickly and efficiently assembled my bike, the play structure and anything else we needed. They were great - whew!
Also, I SWEAR, the weather could not have been more PERFECT for doing this chore. it was overcast, raining, and actually an uncharacteristically very cool temperature. The boys were able to play for extended periods of time outside and since the doors were pretty much open all day, the temperature couldn't have been better to keep everyone cool. It was, quite literally, the best weather we have seen since arriving. Also, rain is a sign of good luck in the Chinese culture. So, hopefully, our stuff...our lives...have been "christened" by the rain today and things will eventually settle down for us. I hope, I hope, I hope.
Our stuff has come! Our stuff has come!
I don't need to tell you how excited we were to get our stuff today! The boys were BEYOND excited to get their toys..and their books...and their outdoor play equipment...their train table...their trains...their balls...their squishy have-no-specific-purpose toys...their bubble machine...their stuffed animals...their bedtime music...their electronic keyboard, etc...etc...etc!!! They were even excited about their plastic plates, cups, sporks, etc! haha
Allen was excited to get his computer monitor...his keyboard...his wireless mouse...his iPod Home station...his Wii system...his electric screwdriver...etc...etc...etc.
Blue was BEYOND excited to get his toys, both old and new...some new snacks...his old food! :)
I was so excited to get...EVERYTHING!! haha Extra books to read, all the extra "western" food we shipped, the kids' toys, Blue's snacks and food, extra boxes of Costco wipes...our wonderful electronic TALL trash can...the few ROCKS I shipped for a centerpiece...OH, MY BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL Arizona rocks...I'm SOOOOO HAPPY to have them...they are soooooooooooo BEAUTIFUL!!!!! I'm excited to have extra medicine, linens...our BED...oh, thank goodness for our bed!!!! Oh! And my Gold Canyon candles! I'm sooooo happy to have those!!! Ahhhhhh...our stuff! A slice of hoommmee.
[I happen to be watching, at this very moment, the black/white version of the Wizard of Oz where Dorothy is trying to get back home and the Good Witch instructs her how to do it...There is no place like home. *click, click, click* There is no place like home. *click, click, click* I just unpacked my "shoe" box...what happened to my red sparkly slippers???!! Do you think my black sparkly Skechers will do the trick?] :)
The food. OMG! We shipped so much food, it's crazy!! haha But, I LOVE it! And, I love ME for thinking of most of it! hahaha Really! I had forgotten about more than half of the stuff that was being unpacked today and I was completely thrilled I had remembered to throw it in the shipment! I kept reiterating to myself, "Hee hee...Kim...you clever, clever girl!" Yah, you thought of malt vinegar! Yah, you thought of Clif Bars! Yah, you thought of trail mix! Yah, you thought of a Costco size box of tall kitchen bags! Yah, you thought of tepenade and bruschetta! Yah, you thought of extra doggie snacks! Yah, you thought of extra Flintstone vitamins for the kids! Yah! Yah! Yah! :) :) :)
Did we ship too much?? Yes, no doubt about it! However, unbelievably, we were told by the moving company that our shipment was very LIGHT compared to other houses/shipments. We had 3 crates and the movers had to go back to their warehouse for the two remaining ends of our outdoor play structure because they wouldn't fit on their truck with the original load. The movers said [usually], people have about 3 truck loads full of stuff...that's 3-4 crates to one truck load...so imagine having 3 truck loads full of stuff! Yikes! THAT is lot of stuff!
But, yes, even before our stuff arrived, I suspected we had brought too much over. As they kept bringing in the stuff, box after box...and then the bigger items...I watched our quaint house get smaller and smaller and smaller. Ugh! I can't believe how much stuff we have! I once had a discussion with May (Allen's ex co-worker) about why Americans have so much stuff. Even though I had a hard time explaining it then, I had felt that whatever the specific reason was for it, we were completely justified in it! Of course! haha
As our stuff was unpacked by the moving company, I have a much better understanding as to why we, as Americans, accumulate so much stuff. We have developed a need/want to make our lives easier on a regular, more daily, basis. This became clear to me as I counted 20 sippy cups for the boys PLUS straw cups galore, about 30 kid utensils, several plastic plates, even more plastic kid bowls...and it became increasing disgusting how many toys we have for the kids...box after box after box after box. Hey - defending myself here - when they are all put away in their perspective bins, it really doesn't look like so much! Not to mention all the clothes and shoes we brought over that we have absolutely no room for at the moment...which doesn't even include what we put in storage back home!! Why do we have all this stuff? Because back home, most of us don't have an ayi who cleans, organizes and washes on a DAILY basis! Seriously. We have lived out of suitcases for nearly two months now, but since our ayi washes our clothes every single day, this hasn't been much of a problem (with the exception of a much more limited selection). Now, it feels like we have a gross amount of clothing. Same goes for the linens...they are washed every other day by our ayi! Our boys have lived with TWO sippy cups each for [nearly] two months and since our ayi cleans them all of the time, I haven't really thought about it...until I saw 20 more sippy cups unpacked today. Same goes for their other plastic ware.
Back home, struggling with house, errands, shopping duties and kids...a woman must feel she NEEDS extra stuff so she ISN'T doing the same chores and/or errands every day!! And THAT is why we have so much stuff...to make our lives a little easier from the day to day, so we CAN leave dishes in the sink a little longer...and we CAN leave our clothes is the laundry bin until the weekend...and we CAN choose different colors/styles...ETC! AND why we have bigger refrigerators, bigger closets, bigger houses, etc, to hold all of it!
Movers. We had such a HORRIBLE moving company in Tucson (Firebird)...I thought for sure, the Chinese equivalent was going to be even worse. C'mon...look at our luck, so far, with Chinese companies! However, we were so pleasantly surprised today! This company was wonderful!! The name of the company is Santa Fe Relocation Services (I'm writing their name down in case I forget in two years) and they handled everything superbly! They had a Chinese crew of about 7 guys and they worked like clockwork until it was all done. They quickly and efficiently assembled my bike, the play structure and anything else we needed. They were great - whew!
Also, I SWEAR, the weather could not have been more PERFECT for doing this chore. it was overcast, raining, and actually an uncharacteristically very cool temperature. The boys were able to play for extended periods of time outside and since the doors were pretty much open all day, the temperature couldn't have been better to keep everyone cool. It was, quite literally, the best weather we have seen since arriving. Also, rain is a sign of good luck in the Chinese culture. So, hopefully, our stuff...our lives...have been "christened" by the rain today and things will eventually settle down for us. I hope, I hope, I hope.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Personality Differences
One of the things I love most about having two children, is watching and nurturing their very different personality styles. There is never a dull moment! Today, we went to our local super market that has that really big play area in it which I previously mentioned in another blog.
Once we arrived, the boys excitedly burst through the door and went in different directions. I went in with them and sat down on one of their many soft benches so I could keep an eye on both of them from a distant vantage point.
Immediately, both boys were surrounded by their own groups of "friends" who were just happy to follow them around. In the past, this has occurred occasionally, but eventually the other children would disperse to once again find their own level of mischief. And usually, those same kids would then come over to me and excitedly practice the very few English words they know, ie, "Hello" "How.are.you?", "My.name.is...", etc. It's always very cute...I love it! :)
However, today, the kids that attached themselves to both boys couldn't be shaken. haha It was hilarious to watch!
Brandon had two girls who stuck to him like glue! They ran after him no matter what he did to shake them. He dodged, he ran up the stairs, slid down the pulley system, ran around the equipment in his efforts to shake those girls. The girls were about 7 years old and wouldn't be dissuaded from their efforts to be his friend. haha He came up to me and told me, "I want to play alone." A little later, he approached me and said, "I want those girls to go away." And a little later, he again told me, "I don't want to be their friend anymore. I really want to play by myself." I said what any mother would say, "Just you wait, son, some day you should be so lucky! Someday, you'll be begging to have two girls run after you with such vigor!" But, of course, that didn't make him feel any better so I told him to try and pretend they weren't there if it really bothered him that much. He scampered off again. Ahhh, our oldest son...he is definitely one to eventually make lemonade out of lemons. When next I saw him, he rounded a corner to play in a little area near me and he was teaching the girls English by pointing to different objects and telling them what they were, such as, A, D, C, triangle, circle, green, yellow, etc. I guess he had decided that if you can't ditch 'em, you might as well teach 'em...something. :)
Ryan...ah, our little Ryan. His approach to his entourage of newly found friends was completely different. And what's really amazing was that he needed no words to communicate his desires. He handled the language barrier with absolute finesse. It was clear HE was their leader. The kids around him wanted to show him one thing or another and he indicated what HE was interested in seeing...and ALLOWED only certain kids to help him. I watched our little 2 year old dictate what was going to be seen, how it was going to be done and just who was going to help him. I watched as he climbed the stairs to one platform, pointing, first, to one child and screeching a "halt" to the child, telling him NOT to touch him. Then I watched as he allowed another boy to take his arm towards a slide. He then turned back to the first boy and again, put his hand out as a "stop" position and screeched a warning. Once he approached the slide, he indicated to the only boy he was allowing to help him, should sit on one side and slide down and then he made it very clear, HE was to sit on the other side and slide down. Another different boy tried to "cut" in front of Ryan's "allowed" friend and was about to slide down when Ryan grabbed his shirt, screeched again and said "NO!." Amazingly, the boy acquiesced and Ryan and his accepted friend slid down together. The boy Ryan had chosen to be his friend was very sweet. He followed Ryan around, lifting him up, helping him out of things, showing him different structures, handing him objects to play with, etc. Ryan chose well. haha
Two kids. So different. I love watching them! I love to embrace each of their personality styles and help nurture them to grow into who they will eventually become. I love that their differences offset one another to eventually help each other. Brandon is always trying to teach Ryan new words and teach him about the world around him. Brandon's sense of caution OFTEN helps temper Ryan's mischievous spirit. Ryan's fearlessness helps to bolster Brandon's own confidence as well as encourage Brandon to step out of his comfort zone...just a little bit. ;)
On another note...
As I was sitting in the play area, I witnessed something disturbing. Some people may wonder how the split pants works in the play areas. Are the kids encouraged just to squat anywhere and do their thing, even in play areas? The thought is disgusting. However, I have never seen any child squat in a play area, so maybe there ARE guidelines to the whole process, right? Well, today, I witnessed a matron hold a veggie bag to a little boy while he peed in it. Unfortunately, the bag had a very small hole in it, so as she waved it around, little pee droplets splashed onto the soft mat. She didn't notice for awhile, but when she did, she looked at me and proceeded to get a kleenex to wipe it up. Did she get all of it? No. Did we immediately leave? You bet.
It's unrealistic to say, this AND WORSE, hasn't happened in these play areas. However, if I dwell on it, I won't take my boys ANYWHERE. So, I have to assume the employees clean up these areas on a regular basis, knowing the nature of kids...and their parents. And I'm SURE I don't have to tell anyone we take hand sanitizer everywhere and wash our hands every time we walk in our door!
Once we arrived, the boys excitedly burst through the door and went in different directions. I went in with them and sat down on one of their many soft benches so I could keep an eye on both of them from a distant vantage point.
Immediately, both boys were surrounded by their own groups of "friends" who were just happy to follow them around. In the past, this has occurred occasionally, but eventually the other children would disperse to once again find their own level of mischief. And usually, those same kids would then come over to me and excitedly practice the very few English words they know, ie, "Hello" "How.are.you?", "My.name.is...", etc. It's always very cute...I love it! :)
However, today, the kids that attached themselves to both boys couldn't be shaken. haha It was hilarious to watch!
Brandon had two girls who stuck to him like glue! They ran after him no matter what he did to shake them. He dodged, he ran up the stairs, slid down the pulley system, ran around the equipment in his efforts to shake those girls. The girls were about 7 years old and wouldn't be dissuaded from their efforts to be his friend. haha He came up to me and told me, "I want to play alone." A little later, he approached me and said, "I want those girls to go away." And a little later, he again told me, "I don't want to be their friend anymore. I really want to play by myself." I said what any mother would say, "Just you wait, son, some day you should be so lucky! Someday, you'll be begging to have two girls run after you with such vigor!" But, of course, that didn't make him feel any better so I told him to try and pretend they weren't there if it really bothered him that much. He scampered off again. Ahhh, our oldest son...he is definitely one to eventually make lemonade out of lemons. When next I saw him, he rounded a corner to play in a little area near me and he was teaching the girls English by pointing to different objects and telling them what they were, such as, A, D, C, triangle, circle, green, yellow, etc. I guess he had decided that if you can't ditch 'em, you might as well teach 'em...something. :)
Ryan...ah, our little Ryan. His approach to his entourage of newly found friends was completely different. And what's really amazing was that he needed no words to communicate his desires. He handled the language barrier with absolute finesse. It was clear HE was their leader. The kids around him wanted to show him one thing or another and he indicated what HE was interested in seeing...and ALLOWED only certain kids to help him. I watched our little 2 year old dictate what was going to be seen, how it was going to be done and just who was going to help him. I watched as he climbed the stairs to one platform, pointing, first, to one child and screeching a "halt" to the child, telling him NOT to touch him. Then I watched as he allowed another boy to take his arm towards a slide. He then turned back to the first boy and again, put his hand out as a "stop" position and screeched a warning. Once he approached the slide, he indicated to the only boy he was allowing to help him, should sit on one side and slide down and then he made it very clear, HE was to sit on the other side and slide down. Another different boy tried to "cut" in front of Ryan's "allowed" friend and was about to slide down when Ryan grabbed his shirt, screeched again and said "NO!." Amazingly, the boy acquiesced and Ryan and his accepted friend slid down together. The boy Ryan had chosen to be his friend was very sweet. He followed Ryan around, lifting him up, helping him out of things, showing him different structures, handing him objects to play with, etc. Ryan chose well. haha
Two kids. So different. I love watching them! I love to embrace each of their personality styles and help nurture them to grow into who they will eventually become. I love that their differences offset one another to eventually help each other. Brandon is always trying to teach Ryan new words and teach him about the world around him. Brandon's sense of caution OFTEN helps temper Ryan's mischievous spirit. Ryan's fearlessness helps to bolster Brandon's own confidence as well as encourage Brandon to step out of his comfort zone...just a little bit. ;)
On another note...
As I was sitting in the play area, I witnessed something disturbing. Some people may wonder how the split pants works in the play areas. Are the kids encouraged just to squat anywhere and do their thing, even in play areas? The thought is disgusting. However, I have never seen any child squat in a play area, so maybe there ARE guidelines to the whole process, right? Well, today, I witnessed a matron hold a veggie bag to a little boy while he peed in it. Unfortunately, the bag had a very small hole in it, so as she waved it around, little pee droplets splashed onto the soft mat. She didn't notice for awhile, but when she did, she looked at me and proceeded to get a kleenex to wipe it up. Did she get all of it? No. Did we immediately leave? You bet.
It's unrealistic to say, this AND WORSE, hasn't happened in these play areas. However, if I dwell on it, I won't take my boys ANYWHERE. So, I have to assume the employees clean up these areas on a regular basis, knowing the nature of kids...and their parents. And I'm SURE I don't have to tell anyone we take hand sanitizer everywhere and wash our hands every time we walk in our door!
Update on the boys...
I know many of you who read these blogs are interested in how our boys, specifically, are faring. So, I thought I'd give you a brief update about their little lives.
As I mentioned earlier, their behavior on arrival to China definitely needed some work. We enrolled them in a local summer camp for 3 weeks near our home and, unfortunately, it was an all day program or nothing. The first week was an adjustment period in which we weren't sure what variables were affecting them in their environment. By the end of the first week, I had made an impromptu visit to the camp and realized Ryan was crying upstairs with nobody to talk to other than a Chinese teacher. During enrollment, I was told that there would be English speaking teachers there throughout the term. After that visit, I surmised that the ONLY English speaking teacher there, was the one who manned the counter in case other expats came in and had questions. The first week was hard for the boys, and again, I wasn't really sure what variables in their life were causing their distress...it could have been anything. Ryan was still acting out, which made me nervous about leaving him (and which I often either kept him at home or picked him up half day) and he would cry and shake his head 'no' when we approached the school or even mentioned "school". A little separation anxiety is normal, but my gut was telling me this was a little more serious. I also knew he enjoyed playing with other kids and craved that diversion as well. He definitely was not happy sitting at the house all day long, especially without Brandon. So, what to do? Brandon mentioned that other kids had thrown some things at him on the playground and when I asked him if he told the teacher, his response was, "Yes, I did! But, they didn't do anything." A-HA!!!
At his response, a faint memory tugged at the corners of my overloaded and very tired mind. I remember my own mother telling me that when I was a toddler/pre-schooler?, she had hired a purely Spanish speaking helper to babysit us on occasion. She had hoped my sister and I would become bi-lingual with Spanish. She also mentioned that I screamed like the dickens (more than usual) whenever she left us with her...which wasn't very often. My sister might have different memories of this babysitter as she is 5 1/2 years older, but I DO remember one instance when my mom was leaving and I remember feeling very "panicked" about her departure. INSANELY panicked...yes, I remember that. I also remember FINALLY calming down to the occasional hiccup long after she left, as I sat next to the doorjamb of our front door, clinging to the doorknob. My mom always said she had determined she must have been abusing us (or something) because of my insane desperation every time she left. Needless to say, my mom promptly chucked her out and with that action, my mom's bi-lingual hopes for her girls went right down the drain. ;)
So, by now, I'm suspecting that my boys' response to THIS school is different for a specific reason. Because they both definitely LOVED school and daycare back home.
By the second week, I had a little chat with their English speaking teacher about some of MY expectations for the care of our boys while attending their little school. I pointed out that their Chinese speaking children had the ability to speak their grievances to any one of the teachers...and be heard. I reminded her that when we signed them up, we were told there would be English speaking teachers available on hand. Technically, this lady was the only one. So, I very clearly outlined how I wanted my kids' care handled from then on until camp ended. I pointed out that the needs of their English speaking kids were just as important and the needs of their Chinese speaking children. So, I told her I expected an ENGLISH speaking teacher to be close at hand for Ryan and his needs. He has a few English words under his belt now and he CAN communicate his needs - in English. Also, I told her that if Brandon goes to a teacher for ANYTHING, she needed to explain to her [strictly] Chinese speaking teachers that they MUST seek her out immediately to find out what he needs and why.
Trans-for-mation! By the third (and final) week, BOTH boys were begging to go to school. They couldn't wait to get out of the car to join their school friends. Ryan would perform a "happy dance" in his car seat as we pulled up. Wow! When I went to pick them up, they didn't want to leave...especially Ryan! He would protest loudly and I had to haul him off - physically. Again, wow...what a difference! That's the power of communication!
In conclusion to my previous story about my own childhood, I now believe my desperation and panicky emotions to my mom leaving our house was most likely due to the fact that I had no way of communicating my needs to this woman who ONLY spoke Spanish. Kids learn this stuff pretty quickly and it can have a devastating effect on their little psyches if they think they can't communicate to the only adult who can satisfy their needs and protect them.
Camp has ended and we are in week #1 of 2, before they both start their "real" school on September 1st. I'm glad things were figured out by the time their camp ended, because they are now very positive and happy about starting their "big" school. Whew!
Unfortunately, our gentle and kind ayi got hurt on the job and we have INSISTED she take some time off this week and ONLY resume her duties here once she feels better. :( But, I have to say, the extra space around the house and the lack of constant strangers coming and going has been nice. The break has been especially nice since the boys and I are together once again during the days and we can really enjoy each other's company without much distraction. I can leisurely pick and choose our activities. I feel we can just "hang" for awhile in the house. And the boys are responding very positively to it as well. I think we all feel almost "normal" and that goes a very long way with the boys. Their behavior is, once again, in line with what I expect from each of their age groups. Double whew! Back to having some good days, some bad days...instead of each day primarily being a bad (and exhausting) day with the kids!
This morning, we hosted a little playgroup here at the house with my Australian friend and her two boys. Her boys are almost the same ages as both of mine (hers are 2.5 and 6, mine are 2 and 4.5), so it was nice they could play in the house together for awhile, without any stress. They played, they had snacks, they played some more...and had more snacks. Typical BOYS! Although, we STILL don't have our stuff (a.k.a., toys), Uncle Steve's arcade joystick came in very handy!! :)
We have a trip to what's called The Activity Box planned with some other kids on Thursday. It's a place where they have a ton of pretend play stuff...and snacks. And this weekend, we are entertaining the idea of visiting the Space & Technology Museum with my Australian friend's family. And every day in between these trips, I think we will just chill out or make sure that whatever we do stays CASUAL.
I'm enjoying the fragments of peace this week and the closest thing to "normal" I have felt since arriving. The kids are happy and healthy and looking forward to whatever comes each day. :)
As I mentioned earlier, their behavior on arrival to China definitely needed some work. We enrolled them in a local summer camp for 3 weeks near our home and, unfortunately, it was an all day program or nothing. The first week was an adjustment period in which we weren't sure what variables were affecting them in their environment. By the end of the first week, I had made an impromptu visit to the camp and realized Ryan was crying upstairs with nobody to talk to other than a Chinese teacher. During enrollment, I was told that there would be English speaking teachers there throughout the term. After that visit, I surmised that the ONLY English speaking teacher there, was the one who manned the counter in case other expats came in and had questions. The first week was hard for the boys, and again, I wasn't really sure what variables in their life were causing their distress...it could have been anything. Ryan was still acting out, which made me nervous about leaving him (and which I often either kept him at home or picked him up half day) and he would cry and shake his head 'no' when we approached the school or even mentioned "school". A little separation anxiety is normal, but my gut was telling me this was a little more serious. I also knew he enjoyed playing with other kids and craved that diversion as well. He definitely was not happy sitting at the house all day long, especially without Brandon. So, what to do? Brandon mentioned that other kids had thrown some things at him on the playground and when I asked him if he told the teacher, his response was, "Yes, I did! But, they didn't do anything." A-HA!!!
At his response, a faint memory tugged at the corners of my overloaded and very tired mind. I remember my own mother telling me that when I was a toddler/pre-schooler?, she had hired a purely Spanish speaking helper to babysit us on occasion. She had hoped my sister and I would become bi-lingual with Spanish. She also mentioned that I screamed like the dickens (more than usual) whenever she left us with her...which wasn't very often. My sister might have different memories of this babysitter as she is 5 1/2 years older, but I DO remember one instance when my mom was leaving and I remember feeling very "panicked" about her departure. INSANELY panicked...yes, I remember that. I also remember FINALLY calming down to the occasional hiccup long after she left, as I sat next to the doorjamb of our front door, clinging to the doorknob. My mom always said she had determined she must have been abusing us (or something) because of my insane desperation every time she left. Needless to say, my mom promptly chucked her out and with that action, my mom's bi-lingual hopes for her girls went right down the drain. ;)
So, by now, I'm suspecting that my boys' response to THIS school is different for a specific reason. Because they both definitely LOVED school and daycare back home.
By the second week, I had a little chat with their English speaking teacher about some of MY expectations for the care of our boys while attending their little school. I pointed out that their Chinese speaking children had the ability to speak their grievances to any one of the teachers...and be heard. I reminded her that when we signed them up, we were told there would be English speaking teachers available on hand. Technically, this lady was the only one. So, I very clearly outlined how I wanted my kids' care handled from then on until camp ended. I pointed out that the needs of their English speaking kids were just as important and the needs of their Chinese speaking children. So, I told her I expected an ENGLISH speaking teacher to be close at hand for Ryan and his needs. He has a few English words under his belt now and he CAN communicate his needs - in English. Also, I told her that if Brandon goes to a teacher for ANYTHING, she needed to explain to her [strictly] Chinese speaking teachers that they MUST seek her out immediately to find out what he needs and why.
Trans-for-mation! By the third (and final) week, BOTH boys were begging to go to school. They couldn't wait to get out of the car to join their school friends. Ryan would perform a "happy dance" in his car seat as we pulled up. Wow! When I went to pick them up, they didn't want to leave...especially Ryan! He would protest loudly and I had to haul him off - physically. Again, wow...what a difference! That's the power of communication!
In conclusion to my previous story about my own childhood, I now believe my desperation and panicky emotions to my mom leaving our house was most likely due to the fact that I had no way of communicating my needs to this woman who ONLY spoke Spanish. Kids learn this stuff pretty quickly and it can have a devastating effect on their little psyches if they think they can't communicate to the only adult who can satisfy their needs and protect them.
Camp has ended and we are in week #1 of 2, before they both start their "real" school on September 1st. I'm glad things were figured out by the time their camp ended, because they are now very positive and happy about starting their "big" school. Whew!
Unfortunately, our gentle and kind ayi got hurt on the job and we have INSISTED she take some time off this week and ONLY resume her duties here once she feels better. :( But, I have to say, the extra space around the house and the lack of constant strangers coming and going has been nice. The break has been especially nice since the boys and I are together once again during the days and we can really enjoy each other's company without much distraction. I can leisurely pick and choose our activities. I feel we can just "hang" for awhile in the house. And the boys are responding very positively to it as well. I think we all feel almost "normal" and that goes a very long way with the boys. Their behavior is, once again, in line with what I expect from each of their age groups. Double whew! Back to having some good days, some bad days...instead of each day primarily being a bad (and exhausting) day with the kids!
This morning, we hosted a little playgroup here at the house with my Australian friend and her two boys. Her boys are almost the same ages as both of mine (hers are 2.5 and 6, mine are 2 and 4.5), so it was nice they could play in the house together for awhile, without any stress. They played, they had snacks, they played some more...and had more snacks. Typical BOYS! Although, we STILL don't have our stuff (a.k.a., toys), Uncle Steve's arcade joystick came in very handy!! :)
We have a trip to what's called The Activity Box planned with some other kids on Thursday. It's a place where they have a ton of pretend play stuff...and snacks. And this weekend, we are entertaining the idea of visiting the Space & Technology Museum with my Australian friend's family. And every day in between these trips, I think we will just chill out or make sure that whatever we do stays CASUAL.
I'm enjoying the fragments of peace this week and the closest thing to "normal" I have felt since arriving. The kids are happy and healthy and looking forward to whatever comes each day. :)
Sunday, August 17, 2008
By Invitation...
Today, we were invited to visit our driver's home to meet his family. And no, this is not normally done. The invitation is an honor and especially rare in this kind of "business" relationship (service people vs. employer). Visiting someone's home for the first time is an occasion to present gifts, share food and laugh. Our ayi and our driver have formed a close working relationship, a "team" if you will, and our ayi was invited to go as well, on her only day off. She was happy to accept the invitation.Our driver picked all of us up here at our house and drove us across town to his home. We met his father and step mother and his grandma, as well as his 8 year old daughter. Mr. Chen was proud to show off his home. His daughter was very proud to show off her talent on the piano. She played several songs for us and she is a very good piano player. Her fingers just seemed to fly over the keys! We were offered chinese dumplings and a fruit salad with coke...and with ice, of course. :) The dumplings were truly authentic and served in a water broth. There were two kinds, a sweet dumpling with red bean paste and a dumpling filled with meat.
Upon our arrival, we presented them with a moon cake assortment as our gift for their hospitality as well as a small chocolate truffle assortment and an Olympic character keychain for Mr. Chen's daughter.
Brandon spent most of his time with "Anna" (Mr. Chen's daughter-which is her English name), playing games and with a few toys. Ryan spent most of his time near the food. Mr. Chen's family were absolutely delighted with Ryan...he could do no wrong! They wanted to take pictures of our family for a keepsake of our trip and we were happy to oblige. When we were ready to leave, thank you's (in both Chinese and English) were profusely given from both parties and we were presented with a gift of two beautiful ceramic chinese dolls for taking the time to visit with them. We knew that all must have gone well, as we were invited to their home again in the future.
Mr. Chen had invited a good friend of his along as well who spoke English. So, we were able to communicate through him to Mr. Chen, his family and our ayi. It was a good time.
On the way back home, our ayi had David (Mr. Chen's friend) translate that she wants our family to visit her home in the Anhui province. She invited us to attend her son's very traditional chinese-style wedding during Chinese New Year at her home in the country. Wow! This is a REAL honor! Chinese style traditional weddings last for two consecutive days, with LOTS of eating, even more drinking and lots of celebrating. I was taken aback by her invitation, as I'm pretty sure this isn't usual for the Chinese to do. Wow. She is the mother of the groom (which holds similar significance as the mother of the bride in the US)...it's a very big deal and event for her. From what I understand, the actual ceremony is held, first, at the groom's parents home and then at the bride's parents home...with TONS of celebrating before, after and in between - for TWO days!
I was told that traditional weddings in the more rural areas of China differ from Shanghai-nese weddings. Shanghai is a more metropolitan and western city. In Shanghai, they celebrate one day (or sometimes the bride/groom just travel instead), and eat more than they drink. In the more traditional weddings, they eat plenty, but drink much more. Beer and chinese wine seem to be the drink of choice.
All I can tell you for now..is that I guess we'll see! :) I hope we can attend her son's wedding, as I know what an honor it is to be invited. Although, I'm not sure what our own plans will be for the Chinese New Year Holiday. So, I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Chinese Massage
Let me give you a little insight as to the differences between a "regular" massage, often found in the States..and a Chinese massage. A Chinese massage is very different and not so...relaxing. The other day, I went with a couple of friends to get a foot massage. My first one! A 60 min. foot massage averages out to be about $10.25 USD over here. Hey, not bad!
FYI - a regular massage is with all your clothes on and where they rub you down through the material. If you want a more "traditional" massage, you need to request an OIL massage or I have seen some places advertise it as a "Hong Kong" type massage.
My foot massage. First, they give you a 15 min neck and shoulder massage and THEN begin your foot massage. Well, it turns out that you have to specify to NOT beat you. You think I'm kidding, right? I'm not. One of my girlfriends still had bruises on her shins from her last pedicure. Yikes!
The little 15 min massage prior to our foot massage turned out to be a full chiropractic treatment. My torso was twisted, my arms pulled back and cross ways, my vertebrae sufficiently rubbed raw and cracked. I didn't realize I could move in so many ways. Truly! Ok, I'll know better next time to specify...NO BEATINGS PLEASE!
I have mentioned I live in a little more rural area with a higher number of Chinese than some of the other expat communities in Shanghai. So, I started to look around for something closer to home. I visited a [relatively] nice Chinese massage place and decided to give it a try. Nobody spoke a word of English. My driver helped me figure out what I would be paying for exactly and I figured we could stumble through the rest. For a 90 minute massage, it costs about $25 USD.
I was taken immediately back to a room. It was clean, but not as posh as an expat massage parlor. It was a little unclear as to how much I was to disrobe and where I should put my stuff. So, I did what any other westerner would do, I stood there and stared until someone made it clear to me what the next step should be.
I thought it was a nice gesture...they brought me COLD water to drink and turned up the AC for me. Alright, now what? One lady left, another came in with a towel and some oil. She "helped" me disrobe by waiting for me to strip my clothes and she hung them up across the room. I can't say THAT was very comfortable...especially since she stood and watched me (naked!) get on the table where she then proceeded to cover me up.
My first thought as she began was, "Please don't hurt me." I had tried to make it clear I wanted a SWEDISH massage, a nice, smooth, gentle massage. Everyone shook their heads as if they knew exactly what I was talking about. They seemed to understand I didn't want a Chinese massage and they seemed to know the difference. Okay, here we go...
She proceeded to rub me down like I was the next meal she was seasoning for supper. Super fast and vigorous strokes, all over. First the back part of my body. Rub, rub, rub. Let's just say I have the same knots I had when we started plus some new ones.
She asked me to turn over (without the benefit of a towel to cover me). Once I did, she put the towel over me again and did my shins. Once she was finished, I felt the towel come off my upper body. Now, what does she think she'll be massaging? I didn't need to wonder for long...
She rubbed my intestines and stomach region. Nothing like a vigorous abdominal rub to get things movin'! It works better than Metamucil! And what woman wouldn't LOVE her fat to be rubbed vigorously across her stomach, making the table shake from the force of it? Verry relaaxxxing! My eyes flew open when she proceeded to massage my entire breasts...EXXCUUSE ME!? Don't we want to get to know each other a little better first??? Really!
So, here's the crux of it. I had a few choices. I COULD tell her what was on my mind at that very moment. However, she couldn't understand a word I said and wouldn't understand why I wanted her to stop. Then she would go get someone else and they wouldn't understand and I would have to try and explain it over again...all while naked with no towel! Or I could walk out. However, there would still need to be some explanations and a lot of "face" would be damaged, which is a #1 big no-no over here. It's all about saving face and she would have thought she did something very wrong if I just walked out. Or I could just let her finish since, at her pace, she would be done very soon.
I let her finish. Hey, what are you going to do?! Anything else seemed too exhausting and the whole point of being there in the first place was to try and relax. BREATHE DEEPLY! One thing I learned, is that the muscles beneath the fatty part of a women's breast holds tension. That actual muscle is rarely massaged in a professional manner, if ever. What am I saying? It's NEVER massaged that way! I was experiencing a total "Joey and his tailor" moment there, from the show Friends!
I think I'll stick to the more expat friendly massage parlors from now on. I'm sure I'll feel less...violated! haha Don't worry...I'll know all the GOOD places to go get cheap massages by the time any of you come to visit. Count on it! The things I'm willing to do in the name of research. Ha! :)
FYI - a regular massage is with all your clothes on and where they rub you down through the material. If you want a more "traditional" massage, you need to request an OIL massage or I have seen some places advertise it as a "Hong Kong" type massage.
My foot massage. First, they give you a 15 min neck and shoulder massage and THEN begin your foot massage. Well, it turns out that you have to specify to NOT beat you. You think I'm kidding, right? I'm not. One of my girlfriends still had bruises on her shins from her last pedicure. Yikes!
The little 15 min massage prior to our foot massage turned out to be a full chiropractic treatment. My torso was twisted, my arms pulled back and cross ways, my vertebrae sufficiently rubbed raw and cracked. I didn't realize I could move in so many ways. Truly! Ok, I'll know better next time to specify...NO BEATINGS PLEASE!
I have mentioned I live in a little more rural area with a higher number of Chinese than some of the other expat communities in Shanghai. So, I started to look around for something closer to home. I visited a [relatively] nice Chinese massage place and decided to give it a try. Nobody spoke a word of English. My driver helped me figure out what I would be paying for exactly and I figured we could stumble through the rest. For a 90 minute massage, it costs about $25 USD.
I was taken immediately back to a room. It was clean, but not as posh as an expat massage parlor. It was a little unclear as to how much I was to disrobe and where I should put my stuff. So, I did what any other westerner would do, I stood there and stared until someone made it clear to me what the next step should be.
I thought it was a nice gesture...they brought me COLD water to drink and turned up the AC for me. Alright, now what? One lady left, another came in with a towel and some oil. She "helped" me disrobe by waiting for me to strip my clothes and she hung them up across the room. I can't say THAT was very comfortable...especially since she stood and watched me (naked!) get on the table where she then proceeded to cover me up.
My first thought as she began was, "Please don't hurt me." I had tried to make it clear I wanted a SWEDISH massage, a nice, smooth, gentle massage. Everyone shook their heads as if they knew exactly what I was talking about. They seemed to understand I didn't want a Chinese massage and they seemed to know the difference. Okay, here we go...
She proceeded to rub me down like I was the next meal she was seasoning for supper. Super fast and vigorous strokes, all over. First the back part of my body. Rub, rub, rub. Let's just say I have the same knots I had when we started plus some new ones.
She asked me to turn over (without the benefit of a towel to cover me). Once I did, she put the towel over me again and did my shins. Once she was finished, I felt the towel come off my upper body. Now, what does she think she'll be massaging? I didn't need to wonder for long...
She rubbed my intestines and stomach region. Nothing like a vigorous abdominal rub to get things movin'! It works better than Metamucil! And what woman wouldn't LOVE her fat to be rubbed vigorously across her stomach, making the table shake from the force of it? Verry relaaxxxing! My eyes flew open when she proceeded to massage my entire breasts...EXXCUUSE ME!? Don't we want to get to know each other a little better first??? Really!
So, here's the crux of it. I had a few choices. I COULD tell her what was on my mind at that very moment. However, she couldn't understand a word I said and wouldn't understand why I wanted her to stop. Then she would go get someone else and they wouldn't understand and I would have to try and explain it over again...all while naked with no towel! Or I could walk out. However, there would still need to be some explanations and a lot of "face" would be damaged, which is a #1 big no-no over here. It's all about saving face and she would have thought she did something very wrong if I just walked out. Or I could just let her finish since, at her pace, she would be done very soon.
I let her finish. Hey, what are you going to do?! Anything else seemed too exhausting and the whole point of being there in the first place was to try and relax. BREATHE DEEPLY! One thing I learned, is that the muscles beneath the fatty part of a women's breast holds tension. That actual muscle is rarely massaged in a professional manner, if ever. What am I saying? It's NEVER massaged that way! I was experiencing a total "Joey and his tailor" moment there, from the show Friends!
I think I'll stick to the more expat friendly massage parlors from now on. I'm sure I'll feel less...violated! haha Don't worry...I'll know all the GOOD places to go get cheap massages by the time any of you come to visit. Count on it! The things I'm willing to do in the name of research. Ha! :)
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Olympic SOCCER Game!
Many of the Olympic soccer games are being held here in Shanghai, including the quarter-finals and the finals. In the spirit of being here for this historical event (the Olympics), we decided to take Brandon to see a real soccer game at the Shanghai Stadium! There were two games tonight, Korea vs. Honduras and Belgium vs. New Zealand...the ticket price included both games! :) Allen left work early and we headed to the Stadium...
It was a GREAT night to go to a soccer game. The Stadium is not a covered building, thus with air conditioning (like in Phoenix). But, we had a summer storm passing through today and the sky had been overcast all day. By the time we got to the games, it was late afternoon. Our driver dropped us off where all the action was and we proceeded to the gates of the Stadium. There were TONS of people, but absolutely NO STRESS. Everyone moved to where they needed to be pretty efficiently.
Don't get me wrong...it was STILL HOT as sin with the extra humidity of the passing storm. It looked like you really COULD cut it with a knife...I swear (see night picture above)! But, at least we didn't have to deal with the blaring sun in addition to the humidity. Since Korea was playing in the first game, the Stadium was packed with fans rooting for their "brothers". I thought it was great, because Brandon picked "red" as the team he wanted to root for, which was Korea. So, while he was rooting for the "red" team, he could follow the game and his "team" with an extra bundle of exuberance from the thousands of fans sitting around us. It was GREAT! Korea won, 1-0.
We got GREAT seats too! It turns out that when you purchase the tickets, the computer does a "lottery" as to where you will sit in the Stadium...you just have to specify how many seats you want together. We got great seats...high above the field, so we could see absolutely everything with zero obstacles in front of us. We definitely got lucky!
The actual official Olympic employees were so helpful the entire way, often stopping us to say "hello" in English to Brandon. They were SO pleased when he responded by saying "hello" in Chinese, "Ni Hao". They would exclaim and laugh and encourage him to say other words. They loved it! Again, people wanted to take his picture and they wanted to hang around him, just looking and smiling. Both our boys have NO IDEA what to do with all this extra attention.
As you can imagine, Ryan didn't come with us. But, it will be exciting when both boys will get to do stuff like this with us! Brandon was sooooooooo good tonight! An angel! He was interested in the game, a little surprised by all the enthusiasm around him, curious about the "wave" and just happy to be there. However, by the end of the first game, he requested to go home (I'm not kidding, he actually requested). He said he was tired. So, we headed towards the souvenir stand, had him pick out something he wanted, bought shirts for all of us and Brandon and I proceeded towards Mr. Chen's car to go home. Allen was thrilled to be at an Olympic men's soccer game and stayed for the last game. After dropping us off at home, Mr. Chen went to go pick him up as well.
It was a GREAT night and something we will remember for our lifetime! :)
Shedding some light...
If you read yesterday's blog, you know I had a rough day and was feeling overwhelmed by the images I had seen. Those images swirled around my head no matter how much I tried to push them out. Needless to say, I got a very poor night's sleep.
Referring to yesterday's blog, I would like to shed some light on a few things from some information I received today. This information will most particularly pertain to those of you who plan to move to China. After this, I really want to move on from this topic. Moving here, you can't expect every day to be so rosy, so be prepared.
Today, I had lunch with the only two women I know here, at the restaurant in their mutual compound. I was telling them of my day yesterday and coincidentally, one of them had a similar experience the day before and the other one had taken some classes about how to survive living in Shanghai, compliments of her husband's work. Both of them could shed some light about my events yesterday.
One girlfriend had been driving home with her family and saw an accident. A foreigner was sitting on the ground, with his motorcycle not too far from him. There was a group of people standing near him, but they were obviously not trying to help...even to get up. She insisted that her driver pull over and she and her husband got out to see if he was ok. She described him to be about 50-ish years old. He explained that he had been driving his Harley, gotten up to a decent speed, when a dog darted across the road...he swerved and fell over. He thanked them profusely for stopping as nobody else was offering to do the same. He happened to live in the same community as them, explained he is American and has lived in China for about a year and my friend and her family dropped him off at his front door. He asked them for their last name...and since they lived nearby, they didn't see the harm in giving it to him. After all this happened, my friend told me that her driver WARNED her not to stop or assist anyone in an accident again. What? Why? It turns out that many people who are hurt and have had an accident over here in China, will often blame the person who helps them so that they can get their medical bills paid, etc. Unfortunately, the person blamed also usually goes to jail. In this instance, both my friend and I feel that nothing will come of it. However, she will definitely be careful in the future. As will I.
Also, my other friend told me a few things she learned in her class. She explained that if you need medical assistance, you can never rely on ambulances to offer assistance. You need to flag a taxi, a person...ANYBODY...to help drive you to a hospital. She relayed instances of people (kids included) who had died because they had been waiting for over 2.5 hours for an ambulance, obviously assuming that since they had been called, they will come relatively quickly. Mistake #1 for a western expat. This is NOT like home. It was also explained to her that there are two different kinds of hospitals...International ones and Chinese run hospitals. There is only ONE Int'l hospital in Pudong (Shanghai East) and TWO on the Puxi side. The rest of them, no matter how good, are Chinese run. The REASON this is important is because only an International Hospital will treat you as a triage situation in an emergency. Any hospital run by Chinese will NOT triage you in the same way you are used to back home. So, if you have a true emergency and you run into a Chinese run hospital, you will be last in a long line of other people there to see a doctor...you are just a number. Also, it was explained to her that China, in general, can rarely offer you medicine with the same strength you are use to back home. She, herself, was told she will need to take 8 aspirin for her migraine headaches to get the same effect as 2-3 back home. Remember my Desitin problem?? THAT is what I'm talking about! I can't find ANY rash cream here that is remotely as effective as Desitin.
I know many of you think and verbalize that by the end of two years, I may want to stay here...that a lot can happen in two years. Hmmm...I guess that might true for some. But, I think that may be TRUER of someone with the Chinese personality of water..able to shift and change direction easily.
I'm like...wood...in mud. C'mon, you really see me staying?
Referring to yesterday's blog, I would like to shed some light on a few things from some information I received today. This information will most particularly pertain to those of you who plan to move to China. After this, I really want to move on from this topic. Moving here, you can't expect every day to be so rosy, so be prepared.
Today, I had lunch with the only two women I know here, at the restaurant in their mutual compound. I was telling them of my day yesterday and coincidentally, one of them had a similar experience the day before and the other one had taken some classes about how to survive living in Shanghai, compliments of her husband's work. Both of them could shed some light about my events yesterday.
One girlfriend had been driving home with her family and saw an accident. A foreigner was sitting on the ground, with his motorcycle not too far from him. There was a group of people standing near him, but they were obviously not trying to help...even to get up. She insisted that her driver pull over and she and her husband got out to see if he was ok. She described him to be about 50-ish years old. He explained that he had been driving his Harley, gotten up to a decent speed, when a dog darted across the road...he swerved and fell over. He thanked them profusely for stopping as nobody else was offering to do the same. He happened to live in the same community as them, explained he is American and has lived in China for about a year and my friend and her family dropped him off at his front door. He asked them for their last name...and since they lived nearby, they didn't see the harm in giving it to him. After all this happened, my friend told me that her driver WARNED her not to stop or assist anyone in an accident again. What? Why? It turns out that many people who are hurt and have had an accident over here in China, will often blame the person who helps them so that they can get their medical bills paid, etc. Unfortunately, the person blamed also usually goes to jail. In this instance, both my friend and I feel that nothing will come of it. However, she will definitely be careful in the future. As will I.
Also, my other friend told me a few things she learned in her class. She explained that if you need medical assistance, you can never rely on ambulances to offer assistance. You need to flag a taxi, a person...ANYBODY...to help drive you to a hospital. She relayed instances of people (kids included) who had died because they had been waiting for over 2.5 hours for an ambulance, obviously assuming that since they had been called, they will come relatively quickly. Mistake #1 for a western expat. This is NOT like home. It was also explained to her that there are two different kinds of hospitals...International ones and Chinese run hospitals. There is only ONE Int'l hospital in Pudong (Shanghai East) and TWO on the Puxi side. The rest of them, no matter how good, are Chinese run. The REASON this is important is because only an International Hospital will treat you as a triage situation in an emergency. Any hospital run by Chinese will NOT triage you in the same way you are used to back home. So, if you have a true emergency and you run into a Chinese run hospital, you will be last in a long line of other people there to see a doctor...you are just a number. Also, it was explained to her that China, in general, can rarely offer you medicine with the same strength you are use to back home. She, herself, was told she will need to take 8 aspirin for her migraine headaches to get the same effect as 2-3 back home. Remember my Desitin problem?? THAT is what I'm talking about! I can't find ANY rash cream here that is remotely as effective as Desitin.
I know many of you think and verbalize that by the end of two years, I may want to stay here...that a lot can happen in two years. Hmmm...I guess that might true for some. But, I think that may be TRUER of someone with the Chinese personality of water..able to shift and change direction easily.
I'm like...wood...in mud. C'mon, you really see me staying?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
The Human Condition
This blog, I'm afraid, isn't quite so reader friendly. So, please read it at your own risk. :(
"Life is cheap. Time is money."
I think it's time to talk about this. This is a phrase the Chinese have coined for their very own way of life over here. This is what the CHINESE will tell you. There are many things that we (Allen and I) see here everyday that bring this phrase to the fore front of our minds.
Recently, President Bush made some statements about China's LACK of Human Rights efforts. Regardless of my or anyone else's political beliefs or views about this subject, I think many people should understand that 1) there are always two sides to every story and 2) the President of the US (whomever he/she may be) sees a lot more than the average "Joe", thus establishing a thread of truth to what they say about it. NOT being President, I can't imagine what images the President has been shown in regards to this subject to spur him to even broach the topic in the public's eye. However, living here and just seeing what I have seen in the few weeks I have been here, I have to admit that the statements made by him (however ill timed), may have some thread of truth and even some genuine concern behind them. But, this really isn't about politics, as you will soon learn. It's just...food for thought for some of you and something that might come to mind in the next few paragraphs.
I understand that whatever I have to say in this blog is 100% skewed, as I'm NOT Chinese AND I come from a country that specifically designs, builds and thinks about how to make life easier in every way for us. One small and insignificant example would be aerosol cans. They are very hard to find over here, for many reasons. However, they are everywhere you look in the US. When I spray or rub on OFF! or sunscreen here, I curse how inconvenienced I am by the process. The aerosol cans make life SO much easier, regardless your views about their damage to the environment. It's a fact: they make life easier, thus their very existence. There are a ton of examples I could explain in detail, but I digress.
The POINT to the previous paragraph was that maybe because I AM American and used to the American way of life, I see and am especially affected by the differences between our cultures, especially in the everday way of life over here. There is a LARGE difference in the overall accommodations afforded to the Chinese versus what the expats have available to them. The apartment buildings are well past the point of disrepair, some even crumbling around the sides. Energy is a luxury and the malls, modes of transportation, shops and retail centers for the Chinese are either NOT air conditioned in this heat or are cooled, but to a minuscule amount. It's really barely tolerable..at least to foreigners. The smell emanating from these more "local" areas are also barely tolerable. This may be a contributing factor as to why you see trains, buildings, malls, hospitals, etc. segregated...Chinese vs. foreigners. I'm not sure. These establishments are much more comfortable if it is a well established expat venue. I'm not the only one who sees the difference. Many people have commented on China Eastern, a primarily Chinese airline. The differences between this airline and other airlines who cater to foreigners is immeasurable. Back to the buildings...if I see here in Shanghai, one of China's shining cities, so much ruin of the human condition, I can't imagine what I would see if I venture further inland, to the much more rural parts of China. A sad example would be the recent earthquakes. The building codes were grotesquely ignored or paid off to be ignored.
Also, you can't ignore the pressure the Chinese government puts on the "stars" of their land. These Olympic players want to win gold medals, OF COURSE, for themselves... but you can't discount the amount of pressure they have on them to "perform" and "excel" in the eyes of the world for something as significant as this event here in China. Please read the following link for just one author's view:
http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/beijing/basketball/news?slug=aw-yaoteamusa081008&prov=yhoo&type=lgns
The driving. *sigh* The driving. I know I have written to many of you about the driving over here. Many of you already know what it is like over here. A brief synopsis would be that the Chinese are masters negotiators, even on the road. It's a negotiation of road space, everyone giving and taking space all at the time, more often than not, barely missing each other in the process. It's a wonder to foreigners how anyone could survive driving the way that they do over here. Surprisingly, I, personally, have seen very few accidents. But, I HAVE seen them. Many of you also know that mothers will ride cradling their infants on the backs of scooters, children will hold on tight both in front and behind the parent on scooters, etc. Trucks will nudge their way along through pedestrians, buses will speed along their routes, only stopping or slowing if very necessary, pedestrians will stand very still between lanes while speeding cars zip by them, u-turns will be made - anywhere. Colored lights and stop signs don't mean a thing here. They are used for some guidance, but the rules never apply. Fend for yourself, is the general rule. According to the people who we know have driver's licenses in both China and the US say that the rules of the road are extremely similar in text. So why isn't there more enforcement to protect China's people from getting hurt while on the road?
All of the above topics pertaining to the "conditions" here in China lead me to remind everyone that the Chinese people are not treated as equals, whether by each other and especially not by the government. Life is cheap, time is money. Their very own Chinese philosophy. This country is unregulated on so many levels, and many of us expats are reminded everyday about the unforeseen as well as the apparent dangers while living here. Americans rely on the standards set by our government, federal, state, county and city wide, to protect us and our children from as much apparent harm as possible. I LOVE THE USA!!!! We tend to take it for granted.
Justification for a higher education. Education being the key word here. We, as Americans, are so educated about safety in general. Yeah, it's very inconvenient to climb in the back of our van to strap the kids into their seats. But, thank the heavens, I have the education AND the means to provide my children with that level of safety, ESPECIALLY here in China. As for all the other unforeseen items that are well beyond my control? Well, I hope that for the duration of our stay here in China, they remain just that...unforeseen. I hope there ISN'T an earthquake here in Shanghai to make me see that the building codes were not enforced while building the school our kids are attending. ALL of THAT kind of stuff...
*SIGH*
I had the extreme misfortune to witness something horrible today. :( An unfortunate, but entirely predictable end in regards to the way of life here in China. I had instructed our driver to move along the shoulder very slowly along a length of road, so that I could see all the little shops better from the car. I was sitting in the front seat where the windows are not tinted so I could see at a distance a little better. We were driving along for quite a while when we noticed a few pedestrians and a large truck in the lane on the other side of the road. No big deal. Big trucks stop all the time in the middle of their lanes. WHY, I don't know. Anyway, as we passed, the car immediately in front of us slowed way down, so we slowed way down, to a snail's crawl. As we passed the back end of the truck...it was horrible. The truck had apparently hit a scooter. The scooter was driven by an old man with his wife (I'm guessing) on the back of it. There were some people standing around, staring, but no one was hovering over them trying to help or assisting in any manner. Only one man was standing off to the side on his cell phone. There was no sense of "rush" among any of the people who stood, just staring and pointing. One guy even had a cigarette between his fingers!! The woman was on her back with streams of blood running down her face. There was a pool of bright red blood beneath her head that was spreading onto the asphalt at a very alarming rate. And she was...twitching. The old man (her husband?) sat staring at her. I think he may have been in shock. He was about a foot away from her and was just sitting and staring, with his elbow over one knee.
Life is cheap. Time is money. It's disturbing...this philosophy. Of course, things like this happen in the US. But, the overall general negligence of road rules is disturbing, especially when you see cars, buses, vans and trucks careening towards scooters, bicycles and pedestrians, all at the same time. And there isn't any law enforcement doing anything about it. No consequences...because, hey, what's one life when you have a billion other people to worry about, right?
It has taken many decades to be where the Chinese are and until recently, China was under a much stricter rule. The Romans didn't build Rome in a day. It starts with the government and who's to say how long it'll take the tides of change to reach all of China's people. Seeing just the few things I have in the short amount of time I have been here, I AM happy for China and their willingness to change with the world, albeit slowly. They are one of the oldest civilizations on the planet and it's culture is steeped in ancient tradition. Rome wasn't built in a day...
"Life is cheap. Time is money."
I think it's time to talk about this. This is a phrase the Chinese have coined for their very own way of life over here. This is what the CHINESE will tell you. There are many things that we (Allen and I) see here everyday that bring this phrase to the fore front of our minds.
Recently, President Bush made some statements about China's LACK of Human Rights efforts. Regardless of my or anyone else's political beliefs or views about this subject, I think many people should understand that 1) there are always two sides to every story and 2) the President of the US (whomever he/she may be) sees a lot more than the average "Joe", thus establishing a thread of truth to what they say about it. NOT being President, I can't imagine what images the President has been shown in regards to this subject to spur him to even broach the topic in the public's eye. However, living here and just seeing what I have seen in the few weeks I have been here, I have to admit that the statements made by him (however ill timed), may have some thread of truth and even some genuine concern behind them. But, this really isn't about politics, as you will soon learn. It's just...food for thought for some of you and something that might come to mind in the next few paragraphs.
I understand that whatever I have to say in this blog is 100% skewed, as I'm NOT Chinese AND I come from a country that specifically designs, builds and thinks about how to make life easier in every way for us. One small and insignificant example would be aerosol cans. They are very hard to find over here, for many reasons. However, they are everywhere you look in the US. When I spray or rub on OFF! or sunscreen here, I curse how inconvenienced I am by the process. The aerosol cans make life SO much easier, regardless your views about their damage to the environment. It's a fact: they make life easier, thus their very existence. There are a ton of examples I could explain in detail, but I digress.
The POINT to the previous paragraph was that maybe because I AM American and used to the American way of life, I see and am especially affected by the differences between our cultures, especially in the everday way of life over here. There is a LARGE difference in the overall accommodations afforded to the Chinese versus what the expats have available to them. The apartment buildings are well past the point of disrepair, some even crumbling around the sides. Energy is a luxury and the malls, modes of transportation, shops and retail centers for the Chinese are either NOT air conditioned in this heat or are cooled, but to a minuscule amount. It's really barely tolerable..at least to foreigners. The smell emanating from these more "local" areas are also barely tolerable. This may be a contributing factor as to why you see trains, buildings, malls, hospitals, etc. segregated...Chinese vs. foreigners. I'm not sure. These establishments are much more comfortable if it is a well established expat venue. I'm not the only one who sees the difference. Many people have commented on China Eastern, a primarily Chinese airline. The differences between this airline and other airlines who cater to foreigners is immeasurable. Back to the buildings...if I see here in Shanghai, one of China's shining cities, so much ruin of the human condition, I can't imagine what I would see if I venture further inland, to the much more rural parts of China. A sad example would be the recent earthquakes. The building codes were grotesquely ignored or paid off to be ignored.
Also, you can't ignore the pressure the Chinese government puts on the "stars" of their land. These Olympic players want to win gold medals, OF COURSE, for themselves... but you can't discount the amount of pressure they have on them to "perform" and "excel" in the eyes of the world for something as significant as this event here in China. Please read the following link for just one author's view:
http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/beijing/basketball/news?slug=aw-yaoteamusa081008&prov=yhoo&type=lgns
The driving. *sigh* The driving. I know I have written to many of you about the driving over here. Many of you already know what it is like over here. A brief synopsis would be that the Chinese are masters negotiators, even on the road. It's a negotiation of road space, everyone giving and taking space all at the time, more often than not, barely missing each other in the process. It's a wonder to foreigners how anyone could survive driving the way that they do over here. Surprisingly, I, personally, have seen very few accidents. But, I HAVE seen them. Many of you also know that mothers will ride cradling their infants on the backs of scooters, children will hold on tight both in front and behind the parent on scooters, etc. Trucks will nudge their way along through pedestrians, buses will speed along their routes, only stopping or slowing if very necessary, pedestrians will stand very still between lanes while speeding cars zip by them, u-turns will be made - anywhere. Colored lights and stop signs don't mean a thing here. They are used for some guidance, but the rules never apply. Fend for yourself, is the general rule. According to the people who we know have driver's licenses in both China and the US say that the rules of the road are extremely similar in text. So why isn't there more enforcement to protect China's people from getting hurt while on the road?
All of the above topics pertaining to the "conditions" here in China lead me to remind everyone that the Chinese people are not treated as equals, whether by each other and especially not by the government. Life is cheap, time is money. Their very own Chinese philosophy. This country is unregulated on so many levels, and many of us expats are reminded everyday about the unforeseen as well as the apparent dangers while living here. Americans rely on the standards set by our government, federal, state, county and city wide, to protect us and our children from as much apparent harm as possible. I LOVE THE USA!!!! We tend to take it for granted.
Justification for a higher education. Education being the key word here. We, as Americans, are so educated about safety in general. Yeah, it's very inconvenient to climb in the back of our van to strap the kids into their seats. But, thank the heavens, I have the education AND the means to provide my children with that level of safety, ESPECIALLY here in China. As for all the other unforeseen items that are well beyond my control? Well, I hope that for the duration of our stay here in China, they remain just that...unforeseen. I hope there ISN'T an earthquake here in Shanghai to make me see that the building codes were not enforced while building the school our kids are attending. ALL of THAT kind of stuff...
*SIGH*
I had the extreme misfortune to witness something horrible today. :( An unfortunate, but entirely predictable end in regards to the way of life here in China. I had instructed our driver to move along the shoulder very slowly along a length of road, so that I could see all the little shops better from the car. I was sitting in the front seat where the windows are not tinted so I could see at a distance a little better. We were driving along for quite a while when we noticed a few pedestrians and a large truck in the lane on the other side of the road. No big deal. Big trucks stop all the time in the middle of their lanes. WHY, I don't know. Anyway, as we passed, the car immediately in front of us slowed way down, so we slowed way down, to a snail's crawl. As we passed the back end of the truck...it was horrible. The truck had apparently hit a scooter. The scooter was driven by an old man with his wife (I'm guessing) on the back of it. There were some people standing around, staring, but no one was hovering over them trying to help or assisting in any manner. Only one man was standing off to the side on his cell phone. There was no sense of "rush" among any of the people who stood, just staring and pointing. One guy even had a cigarette between his fingers!! The woman was on her back with streams of blood running down her face. There was a pool of bright red blood beneath her head that was spreading onto the asphalt at a very alarming rate. And she was...twitching. The old man (her husband?) sat staring at her. I think he may have been in shock. He was about a foot away from her and was just sitting and staring, with his elbow over one knee.
Life is cheap. Time is money. It's disturbing...this philosophy. Of course, things like this happen in the US. But, the overall general negligence of road rules is disturbing, especially when you see cars, buses, vans and trucks careening towards scooters, bicycles and pedestrians, all at the same time. And there isn't any law enforcement doing anything about it. No consequences...because, hey, what's one life when you have a billion other people to worry about, right?
It has taken many decades to be where the Chinese are and until recently, China was under a much stricter rule. The Romans didn't build Rome in a day. It starts with the government and who's to say how long it'll take the tides of change to reach all of China's people. Seeing just the few things I have in the short amount of time I have been here, I AM happy for China and their willingness to change with the world, albeit slowly. They are one of the oldest civilizations on the planet and it's culture is steeped in ancient tradition. Rome wasn't built in a day...
Monday, August 11, 2008
Summer Fashion
Just like the food, I do have people asking me what the weather is like in Shanghai right now as well as what are people wearing around town. Right now, it's summer and it's hot.
The weather mimics Arizona weather. They have two seasons here as well...hot and cold. But because of the high humidity (around 85%), it's REALLY hot and it gets REALLY cold. I don't relish the summers and Allen really isn't looking forward to the winters here. Also, because of the extra moisture, ie, humidity, water ALL over town, close to the ocean, and this area being a swampland of sorts for centuries on end, there are a TON of mozzies (mosquitos)! Ack!
Allen was here in June and he said there was not one bright and sunny day - not one. He mentioned the temperature was warm and the sky was overcast all of the time, with some rainstorms. It sounded similar to our Arizona monsoon season. However, July and August, there have been plenty of bright, sunny days with the occasional passing thunderstorm. We have gotten mild to very loud thunder overhead. These past couple of months remind both of us more of Hawaii...it's amazing how quickly the dense overcast skies lighten and move on, leaving lots of sunshine. It's amazingly hot here. I honestly couldn't think of any place hotter than Arizona..until I moved here. I miss Arizona. Here, it feels like you could cut the heat with a knife every time you step outside. You sweat just standing outside for more than a minute. Ack!
I already mentioned in another blog how the Chinese people, especially women, are adverse to sun exposure. Since many of the Chinese people transport themselves by bicycle, scooter or walking, they have designed some clever clothing to cover up while on the aforementioned modes of transportation.
I see women (everywhere) wearing a shawl of sorts across their shoulders. It is shaped like a shawl, with arm holes (and a finger band) and a tie in the front to hold it in place. The entire garment is made of very thin material as to keep them cool, but ward off the sun as well. It is also loose and can often be seen billowing out around them while they are scooting around town. The collar often has some kind of lace to also help ward off the sun from the neck area. The women also use arm sleeves while riding in the sun, which cover from wrist to mid-upper arm. I have also seen the po' woman version...a kitchen towel wrapped around their entire face, head and neck. The shawls I mentioned are not available in western stores. You have to walk the back alleyways and more "local" shopping areas to find them.
Also, the women have many clothes that have a layer of sheer material on top with an underlining opaque piece closer to their skin. the sheer layer is often seen on the upper chest, down the sides and the arms. I imagine these shirts help to keep them cooler. I have even sometimes seen JUST the sheer piece with the bra underneath showing. I figure these women feel the bra itself is a layer of clothing. Hey! It's so hot here...who am I to judge when I desperately want to shed all my own clothing just to cool down!
I once read a blogger's point of view and she had mentioned that every summer, out come the little nylon socks and she wasn't quite sure why the women wore them in the summer since it's so hot here. I completely understand the little sockies. It turns out that it is sooooo hot here, your feet sweat like little piggies in your sandals. The sockies are to prevent you from sweating in your shoes, even your sandals. But Chinese women don't often wear sandals. You will see many of them wearing pumps while walking, bicycling and on their scooters. I can't believe how far these women walk in pumps all day long! Ouch! It's looks very uncomfortable. These women here have calves of steel...I'm not kidding!
Umbrellas are the season's biggest hit in the summertime! Out comes the sun...out come the umbrellas! Since the umbrellas are used for both the sunny AND rainy seasons here, almost every store or restaurant have umbrella stands next to their entrances.
The little tykes don their split pants all year round, even in the summer. I see little boys walking around town with little board shorts or denim shorts with pockets (like you would see at Old Navy), but sure enough, as they walk by, you can see their little tushies. I have seen many little girls wearing both traditional silk dresses (with Chinese design and embroidery) AND more contemporary dresses and clothing as well. Many of the International Schools require uniforms, so I imagine that I will see many kids in their school uniforms once school starts.
Many times, we will see older Chinese people in what looks like PJ's. They will be walking around very busy touristy shopping areas as well as more local areas, looking as if they don't have a care in the world...especially about their clothing. I assume they are out for comfort, not fashion. If you walk down the alleyways of the "local" residential areas, you will see...all kinds of things. *chuckle* Prepare yourself!
Generally, everyone here wears what they want...new or old clothing, bright or subdued colors, spots combined with stripes, very interesting color combinations, etc. The men and their business suits tend to be darker colors, which go better with darker skin and black hair. The younger crowd tend to be a little more conscientious of the latest fashion trends, ie, hair, clothes, style, etc.
The weather mimics Arizona weather. They have two seasons here as well...hot and cold. But because of the high humidity (around 85%), it's REALLY hot and it gets REALLY cold. I don't relish the summers and Allen really isn't looking forward to the winters here. Also, because of the extra moisture, ie, humidity, water ALL over town, close to the ocean, and this area being a swampland of sorts for centuries on end, there are a TON of mozzies (mosquitos)! Ack!
Allen was here in June and he said there was not one bright and sunny day - not one. He mentioned the temperature was warm and the sky was overcast all of the time, with some rainstorms. It sounded similar to our Arizona monsoon season. However, July and August, there have been plenty of bright, sunny days with the occasional passing thunderstorm. We have gotten mild to very loud thunder overhead. These past couple of months remind both of us more of Hawaii...it's amazing how quickly the dense overcast skies lighten and move on, leaving lots of sunshine. It's amazingly hot here. I honestly couldn't think of any place hotter than Arizona..until I moved here. I miss Arizona. Here, it feels like you could cut the heat with a knife every time you step outside. You sweat just standing outside for more than a minute. Ack!
I already mentioned in another blog how the Chinese people, especially women, are adverse to sun exposure. Since many of the Chinese people transport themselves by bicycle, scooter or walking, they have designed some clever clothing to cover up while on the aforementioned modes of transportation.
I see women (everywhere) wearing a shawl of sorts across their shoulders. It is shaped like a shawl, with arm holes (and a finger band) and a tie in the front to hold it in place. The entire garment is made of very thin material as to keep them cool, but ward off the sun as well. It is also loose and can often be seen billowing out around them while they are scooting around town. The collar often has some kind of lace to also help ward off the sun from the neck area. The women also use arm sleeves while riding in the sun, which cover from wrist to mid-upper arm. I have also seen the po' woman version...a kitchen towel wrapped around their entire face, head and neck. The shawls I mentioned are not available in western stores. You have to walk the back alleyways and more "local" shopping areas to find them.
Also, the women have many clothes that have a layer of sheer material on top with an underlining opaque piece closer to their skin. the sheer layer is often seen on the upper chest, down the sides and the arms. I imagine these shirts help to keep them cooler. I have even sometimes seen JUST the sheer piece with the bra underneath showing. I figure these women feel the bra itself is a layer of clothing. Hey! It's so hot here...who am I to judge when I desperately want to shed all my own clothing just to cool down!
I once read a blogger's point of view and she had mentioned that every summer, out come the little nylon socks and she wasn't quite sure why the women wore them in the summer since it's so hot here. I completely understand the little sockies. It turns out that it is sooooo hot here, your feet sweat like little piggies in your sandals. The sockies are to prevent you from sweating in your shoes, even your sandals. But Chinese women don't often wear sandals. You will see many of them wearing pumps while walking, bicycling and on their scooters. I can't believe how far these women walk in pumps all day long! Ouch! It's looks very uncomfortable. These women here have calves of steel...I'm not kidding!
Umbrellas are the season's biggest hit in the summertime! Out comes the sun...out come the umbrellas! Since the umbrellas are used for both the sunny AND rainy seasons here, almost every store or restaurant have umbrella stands next to their entrances.
The little tykes don their split pants all year round, even in the summer. I see little boys walking around town with little board shorts or denim shorts with pockets (like you would see at Old Navy), but sure enough, as they walk by, you can see their little tushies. I have seen many little girls wearing both traditional silk dresses (with Chinese design and embroidery) AND more contemporary dresses and clothing as well. Many of the International Schools require uniforms, so I imagine that I will see many kids in their school uniforms once school starts.
Many times, we will see older Chinese people in what looks like PJ's. They will be walking around very busy touristy shopping areas as well as more local areas, looking as if they don't have a care in the world...especially about their clothing. I assume they are out for comfort, not fashion. If you walk down the alleyways of the "local" residential areas, you will see...all kinds of things. *chuckle* Prepare yourself!
Generally, everyone here wears what they want...new or old clothing, bright or subdued colors, spots combined with stripes, very interesting color combinations, etc. The men and their business suits tend to be darker colors, which go better with darker skin and black hair. The younger crowd tend to be a little more conscientious of the latest fashion trends, ie, hair, clothes, style, etc.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
draft
I had drafted a post titled "Life", but blogspot posted it below my Beijing post..so please read below. Sorry!?
Friday, August 8, 2008
Beijing 2008!
08-08-08! Wow! Watching the Beijing 2008 Opening Ceremonies for the Olympics from my living room in CHINA, was...just amazing! Wow!
History in the making! This is the first Olympics allowed to take place in China. I hope everyone back home had the chance to watch the ceremonies. Eight is a very lucky number here in China, thus the opening ceremonies being held on 08-08-08. If you were able to see the opening ceremonies, you will have to agree with me that China, BY FAR has some of the best pyrotechnic masters in the world. Also, their conceptual engineering and imagination, not to mention their attention to detail was absolutely amazing! I'm so proud of China. This was a momumental step for them and they accomplished it with grace and dignity. And I'm so happy to have been here for this historical event. Some of the soccer games are being held here in the Shanghai Stadium. So, Allen and I are planning to take Brandon to one of them. :) I think he'll love it!
And as proud as I am for China at this moment, I can't tell you how my heart swelled with pride at seeing our very large and [unusually] conservative USA team walk onto the track. At first I was stumped by the lack of red they wore in their uniforms...but then I was so proud of [us] when I realized it was a clear effort of respect for the Chinese team, knowing it is their color of choice, especially as they are hosting their very first Olympics. I realize this may NOT be the reason...however, that's MY story and I'm stickin' to it! Regardless, I'm so proud of the US team...how could I not be? :)
Since this IS such a historical event here in China, I thought I would write down some of the things going on around here leading up to this event...at least here in Shanghai and what I have heard about Beijing.
A few days prior to the ceremonies, Allen mentioned there were armed guards at all the toll road booths. Businesses here in Shanghai, located near the subway or other mass transportation stations, were closed for business. Beijing also had massive business closures all over the city. Today, the day of the ceremonies, very few people were on the road past 6 pm since they started at 8 pm. LOTS of people were at friends or families houses to watch the ceremonies on TV here in Shanghai. While driving during the day, several people were setting off fireworks near construction areas...some of it falling on top of our van (sounded like little rocks and other debris). There was a lot of excitement about the upcoming events and a lot of "buzz" around town. Lots of people were talking about which sport they were going to watch and why. The object of many people's affection...Yao Ming, of course. ;) A lot of stores are selling the little Olympic characters, even Toys-R-Us. We bought a Band-Aid canister with the little characters on it and all the band-aids inside were of the little Olympic characters. So, every billboard we pass that advertises the Olympics, Brandon exclaims, "Look Mom, just like my Band-Aids!" Yes dear, I know! haha
Just an FYI...the Chinese seem to celebrate EVERYTHING with fireworks. Our neighbor had a new balcony put in and the project lasted for about two weeks. When they were done with the work, the completion of the project was celebrated with very loud fireworks (which sounded just like popping gun fire) right outside our front door. Yah.
Anyway, I hope many of my friends and family caught the ceremonies on TV back home and thought of us. I was thinking of all of you! I miss you!
History in the making! This is the first Olympics allowed to take place in China. I hope everyone back home had the chance to watch the ceremonies. Eight is a very lucky number here in China, thus the opening ceremonies being held on 08-08-08. If you were able to see the opening ceremonies, you will have to agree with me that China, BY FAR has some of the best pyrotechnic masters in the world. Also, their conceptual engineering and imagination, not to mention their attention to detail was absolutely amazing! I'm so proud of China. This was a momumental step for them and they accomplished it with grace and dignity. And I'm so happy to have been here for this historical event. Some of the soccer games are being held here in the Shanghai Stadium. So, Allen and I are planning to take Brandon to one of them. :) I think he'll love it!
And as proud as I am for China at this moment, I can't tell you how my heart swelled with pride at seeing our very large and [unusually] conservative USA team walk onto the track. At first I was stumped by the lack of red they wore in their uniforms...but then I was so proud of [us] when I realized it was a clear effort of respect for the Chinese team, knowing it is their color of choice, especially as they are hosting their very first Olympics. I realize this may NOT be the reason...however, that's MY story and I'm stickin' to it! Regardless, I'm so proud of the US team...how could I not be? :)
Since this IS such a historical event here in China, I thought I would write down some of the things going on around here leading up to this event...at least here in Shanghai and what I have heard about Beijing.
A few days prior to the ceremonies, Allen mentioned there were armed guards at all the toll road booths. Businesses here in Shanghai, located near the subway or other mass transportation stations, were closed for business. Beijing also had massive business closures all over the city. Today, the day of the ceremonies, very few people were on the road past 6 pm since they started at 8 pm. LOTS of people were at friends or families houses to watch the ceremonies on TV here in Shanghai. While driving during the day, several people were setting off fireworks near construction areas...some of it falling on top of our van (sounded like little rocks and other debris). There was a lot of excitement about the upcoming events and a lot of "buzz" around town. Lots of people were talking about which sport they were going to watch and why. The object of many people's affection...Yao Ming, of course. ;) A lot of stores are selling the little Olympic characters, even Toys-R-Us. We bought a Band-Aid canister with the little characters on it and all the band-aids inside were of the little Olympic characters. So, every billboard we pass that advertises the Olympics, Brandon exclaims, "Look Mom, just like my Band-Aids!" Yes dear, I know! haha
Just an FYI...the Chinese seem to celebrate EVERYTHING with fireworks. Our neighbor had a new balcony put in and the project lasted for about two weeks. When they were done with the work, the completion of the project was celebrated with very loud fireworks (which sounded just like popping gun fire) right outside our front door. Yah.
Anyway, I hope many of my friends and family caught the ceremonies on TV back home and thought of us. I was thinking of all of you! I miss you!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Life
Brazieres! Where DOES an ample bosomed woman find a bra in China? Most of the women here are pretty small - everywhere. So, one might consider this to be quite a dilemma. It sure was a dilemma for me when my ONE bra that I could wear tank tops with, broke the other day. Aaagghhh! I'm still living out of a suitcase and I have about 3 shirts that are not tank tops. Why? Because it's hotter than sin here! So, what to do, what to do...?
I thought for sure my mother would have to ship me a bra from the US. But, since picking up a bra site unseen via mail was not particularly appealing, even IF necessary, I decided to take my chances shopping around at the Super Brand Mall. If any place was going to have one for me, there is a good chance I would find it there. There is a whole section of the mall called "Charm Gallery", dedicated entirely to women's under clothing.
So, I started looking around and around and around...only seeing padded bras and very tiny underwear. I was feeling more than a little discouraged.
Even in the States, bra shopping is...tedious. I don't know if this is just for ME or if other women experience the same level of tediousness. I remember watching a segment on Oprah one time where the whole show was about finding your perfect bra! Wow...your perfect bra. What a great concept! I have spent my entire bosom growing life trying to find that "perfect" bra. What I have found, were "good enoughs" and a whole lot of exhausting effort! Mind you, Oprah had her "guests" fitted for their perfect bra AND a professional braziere consultant (can you believe those careers are out there?). Well, you can imagine her happy guests went home with their PERFECT bras! Every time I have been out shopping for bras, I have also fervently wished I knew where to find a "professional"...you know, someone who would provide a fitting, stand there in the booth with me, slip on the bra for me, *ahem* adjust wherever needed, tilt her head back and forth with a seriously critical eye as to whether that is, indeed, the perfect bra for me. If ONLY, right?! haha
Well, just shy from giving up, I spied a booth in the Charm Gallery at Super Brand Mall that had non padded bras and low cut frames. Okayyy, it's a start! They were still really tiny and I had my doubts as to whether they would even carry my size. The lady came up to me, saw my piqued interest in the bra I was holding..and took over from there..no English necessary.
I was turned around, fitted around the chest and my cup size was assessed. Ah, but it didn't stop there. The lady disappeared, came back with several sizes that looked like they could fit me, pulled me into the dressing room and proceeded to instruct me to disrobe. I realized that she would not be leaving, so I did as she bid. Oh my goodness! The process was exactly as I described I had always wanted...this lady became my personal bra consultant! One right after another, she slipped them on, fastened them for me, *ahem* adjusted where needed, pointed out each and every bra's gleaming qualities (of course), showed me all of the different colors for each, adjusted the straps different ways...and gave me a cookie. :) I was sold! haha
I actually found TWO bras more perfect than any other bra I have ever found before! Ha! I just had to come to China to find the perfect one. Dang! Is that all?
They fit me incredibly and surprisingly well. The one drawback to the whole process was that instead of being my traditional chest size (you don't blame me if I don't actually name the number, do you?), I'm about 55 MORE than that here in Chinese sizes! Ugh! haha Whatever... the number is going to my grave...and I still found my perfect bra - plus one more! :)
On a different note...
We went out tonight with our [only] "couple" friends...MY friend Sol and her husband and kids. We met at the play area in the Super Brand Mall, daddies watched the older kids while they played, while us mommies walked around the area, pushing our little ones (we shopped a little too!). After the kids were more than a little tired and more than a little hungry, we ate at a place in the mall called Elements Fresh. Wow! What a great restaurant! Yum-mmy! This is a chain here, so there are more than one of them. Many of you in the US will like this place a lot...IF you visit! ;) The menu was English friendly, the food was fantastic and healthy and the toilets were super clean...WITH upright toilets! What more could you ask for? haha
It was a good time! So far, I have only felt a few moments of feeling "normal" since moving here...and this was definitely one of them. I enjoy hanging out with friends, new or old, chatting, catching up, etc. PLUS, Allen actually enjoys hanging out with them and wants to do it more...which most of you know is definitely a bonus for me. :)
I thought for sure my mother would have to ship me a bra from the US. But, since picking up a bra site unseen via mail was not particularly appealing, even IF necessary, I decided to take my chances shopping around at the Super Brand Mall. If any place was going to have one for me, there is a good chance I would find it there. There is a whole section of the mall called "Charm Gallery", dedicated entirely to women's under clothing.
So, I started looking around and around and around...only seeing padded bras and very tiny underwear. I was feeling more than a little discouraged.
Even in the States, bra shopping is...tedious. I don't know if this is just for ME or if other women experience the same level of tediousness. I remember watching a segment on Oprah one time where the whole show was about finding your perfect bra! Wow...your perfect bra. What a great concept! I have spent my entire bosom growing life trying to find that "perfect" bra. What I have found, were "good enoughs" and a whole lot of exhausting effort! Mind you, Oprah had her "guests" fitted for their perfect bra AND a professional braziere consultant (can you believe those careers are out there?). Well, you can imagine her happy guests went home with their PERFECT bras! Every time I have been out shopping for bras, I have also fervently wished I knew where to find a "professional"...you know, someone who would provide a fitting, stand there in the booth with me, slip on the bra for me, *ahem* adjust wherever needed, tilt her head back and forth with a seriously critical eye as to whether that is, indeed, the perfect bra for me. If ONLY, right?! haha
Well, just shy from giving up, I spied a booth in the Charm Gallery at Super Brand Mall that had non padded bras and low cut frames. Okayyy, it's a start! They were still really tiny and I had my doubts as to whether they would even carry my size. The lady came up to me, saw my piqued interest in the bra I was holding..and took over from there..no English necessary.
I was turned around, fitted around the chest and my cup size was assessed. Ah, but it didn't stop there. The lady disappeared, came back with several sizes that looked like they could fit me, pulled me into the dressing room and proceeded to instruct me to disrobe. I realized that she would not be leaving, so I did as she bid. Oh my goodness! The process was exactly as I described I had always wanted...this lady became my personal bra consultant! One right after another, she slipped them on, fastened them for me, *ahem* adjusted where needed, pointed out each and every bra's gleaming qualities (of course), showed me all of the different colors for each, adjusted the straps different ways...and gave me a cookie. :) I was sold! haha
I actually found TWO bras more perfect than any other bra I have ever found before! Ha! I just had to come to China to find the perfect one. Dang! Is that all?
They fit me incredibly and surprisingly well. The one drawback to the whole process was that instead of being my traditional chest size (you don't blame me if I don't actually name the number, do you?), I'm about 55 MORE than that here in Chinese sizes! Ugh! haha Whatever... the number is going to my grave...and I still found my perfect bra - plus one more! :)
On a different note...
We went out tonight with our [only] "couple" friends...MY friend Sol and her husband and kids. We met at the play area in the Super Brand Mall, daddies watched the older kids while they played, while us mommies walked around the area, pushing our little ones (we shopped a little too!). After the kids were more than a little tired and more than a little hungry, we ate at a place in the mall called Elements Fresh. Wow! What a great restaurant! Yum-mmy! This is a chain here, so there are more than one of them. Many of you in the US will like this place a lot...IF you visit! ;) The menu was English friendly, the food was fantastic and healthy and the toilets were super clean...WITH upright toilets! What more could you ask for? haha
It was a good time! So far, I have only felt a few moments of feeling "normal" since moving here...and this was definitely one of them. I enjoy hanging out with friends, new or old, chatting, catching up, etc. PLUS, Allen actually enjoys hanging out with them and wants to do it more...which most of you know is definitely a bonus for me. :)
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
SUPER BRAND MALL!
OH MY GOODNESS!!!! What a wonderful mall! It was heaven! It has to be one of the largest ranking malls on some list, somewhere around the world...it's gigantic! I had heard about the Super Brand Mall...but I visited it for the first time today. I think I could go there everyday! It has everything! It has CLEAN places to eat - galore. It has all kinds of food, Japanese, Chinese, Italian, American...McDonalds, KFC, Starbucks, Coffee Bean, Dairy Queen, Pizza Hut, Burger King, Haagen-Dazs, etc. Pretty much the "standards" over here. They had a Hooters too! :) It also had a dumpling place, bakeries, ramen, etc.
The mall is actually 10 levels of pure shopping heaven...and I'm not even a "shopper". I recognized many brand names, such as Esprit, Merrill, Toys-R-Us, Best Buy, iPod/Apple, Tomi Toys, Quicksilver, Skechers, Sephora, Hilfiger, Calvin Klein, Addidas, Nike, Lens Crafters, Toni & Guy Hair Salon Academy and EVEN Scholastic! They had a really cool soft play area for kids on one of the floors along with several "spaces" or "stores" of kids products (no Desitin though!) around the same area.
While they had many, many brand name stores I recognized in one place, they also had much less selection than what we are used to seeing in the States. I'm sure it's because of space issues.
Something strange happened. I walked into Toys-R-Us and after a minutes of looking around, I actually felt short of breath and felt a slight constriction around my chest. I can only compare it to the descriptions of panic attacks I have heard about from my friends. It wasn't even remotely TOO uncomfortable, but I did feel some stress just being in there. *Let me repeat...it was NOT a true panic attack...not even close! When I walked out, it went away. I don't know where the additional stress came from, but I do remember thinking "can't anything be easy?" I was looking for a hard case for Ryan's Leapster and they, of course, didn't have anything like it (where do I look now?)...I was looking at play equipment and it was phenomenally expensive, even here in China...all the boxes were in Chinese...they had a TON of new toys I had never seen before and couldn't read the boxes...they had signs everywhere about where to go, for what...they DON'T take US gift cards (oh, that's GREAT!)...everything was bright and colorful...aagghhhhhhh! haha So, I walked out without really looking at anything. I felt like I was in a pinball machine...and I was the pinball, wandering aimlessly through this colorful store without knowing where I was going, what I should be looking for or even who to ask. I guess I'm just not ready to explore a Chinese version of Toys-R-Us yet. The one at home is hard enough to navigate on a regular basis!
However, I did enjoy exploring the Tomi toys and the 'children's paradise' section. They had a line of wooden toys that I thought were pretty cool...basic, simple, educational...period. I recognized some of the other Tomi toys, but some I hadn't seen before and found to be interesting. This is where the cool play area was for kids as well.
Anyway, I've attached a link if you are interested in learning more about the Super Brand Mall. :) It's located on the Pudong side of Shanghai.
http://www.superbrandmall.com/
The mall is actually 10 levels of pure shopping heaven...and I'm not even a "shopper". I recognized many brand names, such as Esprit, Merrill, Toys-R-Us, Best Buy, iPod/Apple, Tomi Toys, Quicksilver, Skechers, Sephora, Hilfiger, Calvin Klein, Addidas, Nike, Lens Crafters, Toni & Guy Hair Salon Academy and EVEN Scholastic! They had a really cool soft play area for kids on one of the floors along with several "spaces" or "stores" of kids products (no Desitin though!) around the same area.
While they had many, many brand name stores I recognized in one place, they also had much less selection than what we are used to seeing in the States. I'm sure it's because of space issues.
Something strange happened. I walked into Toys-R-Us and after a minutes of looking around, I actually felt short of breath and felt a slight constriction around my chest. I can only compare it to the descriptions of panic attacks I have heard about from my friends. It wasn't even remotely TOO uncomfortable, but I did feel some stress just being in there. *Let me repeat...it was NOT a true panic attack...not even close! When I walked out, it went away. I don't know where the additional stress came from, but I do remember thinking "can't anything be easy?" I was looking for a hard case for Ryan's Leapster and they, of course, didn't have anything like it (where do I look now?)...I was looking at play equipment and it was phenomenally expensive, even here in China...all the boxes were in Chinese...they had a TON of new toys I had never seen before and couldn't read the boxes...they had signs everywhere about where to go, for what...they DON'T take US gift cards (oh, that's GREAT!)...everything was bright and colorful...aagghhhhhhh! haha So, I walked out without really looking at anything. I felt like I was in a pinball machine...and I was the pinball, wandering aimlessly through this colorful store without knowing where I was going, what I should be looking for or even who to ask. I guess I'm just not ready to explore a Chinese version of Toys-R-Us yet. The one at home is hard enough to navigate on a regular basis!
However, I did enjoy exploring the Tomi toys and the 'children's paradise' section. They had a line of wooden toys that I thought were pretty cool...basic, simple, educational...period. I recognized some of the other Tomi toys, but some I hadn't seen before and found to be interesting. This is where the cool play area was for kids as well.
Anyway, I've attached a link if you are interested in learning more about the Super Brand Mall. :) It's located on the Pudong side of Shanghai.
http://www.superbrandmall.com/
Monday, August 4, 2008
Let's be FRANK, shall we?!
Our ayi had some pictures of her children and her grandchildren that I had the immense pleasure of viewing today! She also had pictures of the other children she has been an "ayi" to over the years...SO CUTE!! While I was googoo and gaga-ing over the pictures, our driver asked if we had any pictures of our home in America?! Hell, YEAH!! Let me just pull up our computer FULL of pictures!! haha
I had the opportunity to show them all kinds of pictures. :) But, I promise you, they were just as excited to see the pictures as I was to show them...they kept asking for more! Both, the ayi and the driver wanted to see our families, the boys, our cars, x-mas pics, our house, etc, etc, etc!
As I was showing them pics of my family, a few pictures came up that seemed to really capture their attention...pictures of my lovely sister! I think that they not only found her very lovely, they are also interested in the sibling relationships of westerners AND my sister and I look NOTHING alike, which stumps us and our parents to this day!! haha They asked me all kinds of questions, how old is she?, only you and your sister?, who's older?, does she have babies?, is she married? etc, etc, etc! As I proceeded to answer all their questions, I was confronted with very STANDARD, no-nonsense (and very typical) DIRECT Chinese dialogue...
"That's you sista?" "Ahhh!?" "She look MUCH younga than you!" "She olda? Really?" "No, YOU look MUCH olda than HER!" "She not fat, like you!" "Yo sista olda?" "Same mother, same father?"
Wait a minute...did I just get side swiped on BOTH sides, and in only ONE breath?!! haha
Well, here are MY own answers to all of that! "She no babies! So, yeah, she skinny" "She no husband! So, yeah, less stress" "Yeah...she probably FEELS a lot younger too!" ;) HAHAHA
TWO things:
1) My sister IS truly beautiful, from the inside out...so, of COURSE, it shows!
2) The Chinese people absolutely mean NO disrespect when they say things like this. They see something and they just very honestly say how it is...or they don't say anything at all. It's direct. I can appreciate that. I was laughing the entire conversation!
On another note...
Tonight we ate at Bubba's Texas style BBQ...set up and run by a true Texan. He even has the Texan flag outside the restaurant and greeted us at the door. Allen was caught completely off guard when I downed a liter of beer and gobbled up my entire pulled pork (w/ slaw) sandwich PLUS some hush puppies! He hasn't seen me eat like that in a very long time and he has NEVER seen me throw down a liter of beer that quickly! He wanted to know, "What the H***?" haha I had to respond, "I'm in my happy place!" :) :) :) He had to chuckle at that and vowed we would try to go there at least once a month. He loved it there, as well you can imagine. The food was sooooooooooooo good! The BEST...I mean it (well, alright, MAYBE the Salt Lick is just a tad better)! This was the first place we have gone where the expats FAR out-numbered the locals. You can imagine how wonderful it felt to us! Yah BBQ!! hee hee
I had the opportunity to show them all kinds of pictures. :) But, I promise you, they were just as excited to see the pictures as I was to show them...they kept asking for more! Both, the ayi and the driver wanted to see our families, the boys, our cars, x-mas pics, our house, etc, etc, etc!
As I was showing them pics of my family, a few pictures came up that seemed to really capture their attention...pictures of my lovely sister! I think that they not only found her very lovely, they are also interested in the sibling relationships of westerners AND my sister and I look NOTHING alike, which stumps us and our parents to this day!! haha They asked me all kinds of questions, how old is she?, only you and your sister?, who's older?, does she have babies?, is she married? etc, etc, etc! As I proceeded to answer all their questions, I was confronted with very STANDARD, no-nonsense (and very typical) DIRECT Chinese dialogue...
"That's you sista?" "Ahhh!?" "She look MUCH younga than you!" "She olda? Really?" "No, YOU look MUCH olda than HER!" "She not fat, like you!" "Yo sista olda?" "Same mother, same father?"
Wait a minute...did I just get side swiped on BOTH sides, and in only ONE breath?!! haha
Well, here are MY own answers to all of that! "She no babies! So, yeah, she skinny" "She no husband! So, yeah, less stress" "Yeah...she probably FEELS a lot younger too!" ;) HAHAHA
TWO things:
1) My sister IS truly beautiful, from the inside out...so, of COURSE, it shows!
2) The Chinese people absolutely mean NO disrespect when they say things like this. They see something and they just very honestly say how it is...or they don't say anything at all. It's direct. I can appreciate that. I was laughing the entire conversation!
On another note...
Tonight we ate at Bubba's Texas style BBQ...set up and run by a true Texan. He even has the Texan flag outside the restaurant and greeted us at the door. Allen was caught completely off guard when I downed a liter of beer and gobbled up my entire pulled pork (w/ slaw) sandwich PLUS some hush puppies! He hasn't seen me eat like that in a very long time and he has NEVER seen me throw down a liter of beer that quickly! He wanted to know, "What the H***?" haha I had to respond, "I'm in my happy place!" :) :) :) He had to chuckle at that and vowed we would try to go there at least once a month. He loved it there, as well you can imagine. The food was sooooooooooooo good! The BEST...I mean it (well, alright, MAYBE the Salt Lick is just a tad better)! This was the first place we have gone where the expats FAR out-numbered the locals. You can imagine how wonderful it felt to us! Yah BBQ!! hee hee
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Zhujiajiao
We went for a day trip today to a little town called Zhujiajiao (Joo-Juh-Jow). It's steeped in ancient history and is often called "Shanghai's Venice" or "Water Town". It's one of the oldest cities in the area. There is a fee to get "in" the city, but it was a little less than $10 USD per adult and that included getting into all the museum type buildings and gardens.
The little town sits next to a wide river and has smaller canals running through it. This river and the canals have river boats that look like traditional boats used in fish market trading and product transportation back in the day. The man working the boats used what looked like a long lever and moved it back and forth in the water to propel us forward. It looked like he was working hard pushing us. He had a basic rope attached to it to turn the rudder for direction.
We met my new friend, Sol (previous Coffee Bean entry), and her family there and had a good time walking in the back alleyways, looking at all the goods. However, it was hotter than sin and we were all sweating profusely and redder than tomatoes by the time we stopped for lunch. The buildings were close together and the alleyways were filled with little shops selling their wares, both food and non-food items. One particular product that caught my interest were "pictures" that were actually a ton of delicate thread woven together to make a picture. One of these little stores actually had the woman making them in front of us, authenticating they were, indeed, all hand woven. No two pics were exactly the same...I checked.
I've attached a few pics of our excursion. :) Again, it's not very stroller friendly. And here is a link describing the town a little better: http://www.travelchinaguide.com/attraction/shanghai/zhujiajiao.htm
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